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Su Xiaolan's health is getting worse and worse. If she is with Ji Fan, not only will it not bring Ji Fan happiness, but it will also make Ji Fan worry about her and suffer for her. So, she let go, she wants to make him happy!
She thought, has she fallen? Since meeting Ji Fan in the first day of junior high school, she has silently planted the seeds of love in her heart. She puts all her emotions and energy into watering this seed, regardless of whether it germinates or grows, it is only a sustenance.
She was so rebellious that she wanted to open up a world in writing. She actually "contradicted" with her family, and she didn't even care about her studies.
She still couldn't help but miss Ji Fan. Missing made her hold the phone all the time, but she didn't know what to say to Ji Fan. She edited on the phone: "I miss you, do you miss me?" She really misses him! Overwhelmed to miss it! So, before I had time to think about whether I should or should not, my uncontrollable fingers sent out this text message.
She was apprehensive, but she still saw the words that made her sad. She cried for a long time, and ran outside the classroom to get wet in the rain, drenching her whole heart.
Very annoying, she ran to the Internet cafe in the rain as soon as school was over. Only there can she find herself. Only there can she let the words bloom on the screen to make her peaceful.
She has never played games in the Internet cafe, because she has no interest in games at all. She just likes to write down some sporadic sentences in her blog. That was her world, and no one could disturb her.
She would occasionally add one or two friends, but she never took the initiative, and they were all added by strangers. When she was so sad because of Ji Fan's words, a boy who had chatted with her for a few days actually said to her: "I want to do that with you."
Smart, she immediately knew what the boy was talking about, tensed her nerves and said nonchalantly: "What?" She just wanted the boy to understand that she didn't want to say this, but he didn't expect him to say: "That's the one .¡± Su Xiaolan held back her disgust and continued to pretend not to know.
The boy thought she really didn't know, and said to her: "It's the one made by men and women." Are you kidding me? She doesn't like him, how could she do anything with him? After a few words, she blacklisted the boy.
In her heart, Ji Fan has always been there. The reason is simple, without missing Ji Fan, she would not be able to survive!
Her heart is really tired. She wanted to find someone to talk to, but there was none. Her emotions were all stagnated in her heart, pounding left and right in her small chest. When she really can't put it down, she will let her emotions surge and release.
She can never forget what her father said "Go to hell". It was like a knife pierced into her heart, tearing out her heart all the time. She is in pain, do they know that?
What is so difficult about dying? She was never afraid of death! She is only afraid that others will be sad. She takes emotion very seriously, and she thinks everyone takes emotion as seriously as she does.
When she said to her parents: "From now on, I will never hear what you say! Of course, you won't hear what I say!", she really didn't want to live anymore!
She was really tired, and she had to use all her strength to regain her weak breath. She doesn't want to drag anyone down! But no one can understand her thoughts. When she was so helpless in pain, her parents scolded her sentence by sentence.
They scolded her so much that it upset her! Why is she so useless? Why does she always piss off the people she cares about? What is the meaning of her life?
Although she felt that it was better to leave and wanted to leave very much, she still couldn't bear to do it. She just rushes to the Internet cafe immediately after school every day, and often doesn't even care about lunch. Even though her stomach hurts like hell, she gritted her teeth and endured it. Because her heart hurts more.
Not a day student, she stayed in the Internet cafe for a few days or even all night. She is not obsessed with a certain game like most people in the Internet cafe, nor does she watch any TV series. Just sitting in front of the computer in a daze, writing about the feelings in my heart.
After living like this day by day, after a month, she wrote more than 60 diaries and put them in the blog space. Among the sixty articles, at least fifty were written for Ji Fan. Such a sentence, such a blog, is like a long love letter.
In fact, she really wanted Ji Fan to see it, but she was afraid that Ji Fan would see it. For a whole month, she never saw Ji Fan online. She thought, even if Ji Fan is online, he won't notice her, won't walk into her space, right?
In the end, before Ji Fan saw it, Su Xiaolan deleted all the diaries from the blog. She doesn't want to see Ji Fan's apologetic words anymore! If Ji Fan really saw it, he would feel guilty, right? It's better that he didn't see it!
During those days, she met another boy. The boy is two years older than her?? is a freshman. She never took the initiative to find someone to chat with, and she only knew him because she had been silent in the boy's friend list for too long.
He can be said to be the only friend Su Xiaolan has met in the online world. Their conversation was simple, but not boring. When Su Xiaolan stayed up all night, he stayed with Su Xiaolan for several nights. Such company still made Su Xiaolan feel very warm after a week.
However, no kind of company can replace Ji Fan. Su Xiaolan was still the same, constantly thinking about Ji Fan, and often couldn't help sending Ji Fan text messages.
Ji Fan said that he wanted to be her caring person. can he do it Xiaolan has already begun to doubt. Once again, she couldn't help sending Ji Fan a text message saying that she missed him. Ji Fan's reply was: "me too!" He actually used English!
For some reason, Su Xiaolan hates English, especially the English spoken by Ji Fan! Maybe it's because he once said "I love you!", but he separated so easily. She would rather believe that it was a dream, so it was so false.
But Ji Fan's occasional words like candy are like candy to children, and she has no resistance at all. She will still be happy.
She still misses Ji Fan very much, even though he seldom texts her, even though she has to let go of her reserve and take the initiative to text him.
Perhaps, caring about Ji Fan has become an indispensable part of her life. This has become a habit, like caring for a loved one. Even more deeply than caring about a loved one. But will he miss her?
She was actually afraid too. She was afraid that one day she would not love him anymore. Love is the pillar for her. What would she do without the pillars?
Although she has always loved him, she knew that her love might just be a disturbance to him. So, she has to quit slowly.
However, if Ji Fan loves her, maybe her love is not a disturbance. So she silently prayed: If Ji Fan loves her, please tell her before she gives up!
Su Xiaolan is more and more used to going to Internet cafes all night. The fear she had for the people inside and outside the Internet cafe at the beginning has been able to turn a blind eye to her now.
Sitting among a group of people who smelled of smoke, she watched the smoke swirl around her. The dense mist showed off her figure enchantingly in front of the screen, and her stomach was throbbing. She wanted to cough, but couldn't.
She knew that she didn't like Internet cafes at all, and even hated the smell, but she couldn't seem to find a place that could bring her closer to her heart except here.
Moreover, the noise here can numb her nerves, making her feel that those sharp or dull pains can be covered up in the chaos. Maybe it would be a little self-deprecating, but she just stubbornly thought that this would make her feel better.
Her longing for Ji Fan may also be relieved in such a chaotic atmosphere. Maybe only in this way, she will not be strangled by missing her throat and pinching her heart tightly.
There is really nothing to do in the Internet cafe, so she browses some webpages randomly, or looks at some popular spaces. Other people's words can also comfort her at such a moment.
Suddenly, an article titled "Look at the idiot's decision, collect 10,000 blessings, everyone come to support" broke into her eyes.
Ten thousand blessings? Not so easy to collect, is it? Besides, why did he need a blessing? Wouldn't it be any difficulty? Su Xiaolan opened the article suspiciously.
The article roughly talks about being rejected by a girl I like very much, so I want to collect 10,000 blessings to impress that girl. It was written very plainly, and in her opinion, the article had no literary talent at all, but there were already thousands of replies below.
Su Xiaolan thought it was inconceivable that such a naive move was still supported by people, but she saw a sentence at the end of the article: "If you ask me to choose, even if there are nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine out of ten thousand failures, I must persist until the end Moment!"
The red font is very eye-catching, making Xiao Lan's eyes a little sore. But she didn't leave a single word after that article, but opened another inconspicuous article in that space.
This article is about how boys should treat their wives. Although there are not many sentences, it covers basic necessities of life. The fragmentary sentences made Su Xiaolan feel: It must be very happy to be the wife of such a boy!
Although it is likely that these sentences were read and reposted from some corner of the vast Internet, those who can repost such articles must agree with these ideas.
Su Xiaolan was moved, and couldn't help saying at the end of the article: "You are a good boy!"
For this sentence, in Su Xiaolan's opinion, it is just an agreement with the thought of this article. She opened another space and continued to search for sentences that could touch her heart.
No matter how good this boy is, it is not her happiness. Even if the boy is just turning these sentences around to deceive people, it has nothing to do with her! Everything about Ji Fan has been deeply imprinted in her heart and cannot be erased. She couldn't get her heart to pay close attention to whether other boys were really good or not.
He does not mean that. Liu Chen has long been disheartened after repeated blows to Jin Rong. Friends around him also alienated him because of his "self-willed depravity". He didn't expect that at this time, someone would say that he is a good boy! (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com)No matter how good this boy is, it does not belong to her happiness. Even if the boy is just turning these sentences around to deceive people, it has nothing to do with her! Everything about Ji Fan has been deeply imprinted in her heart and cannot be erased. She couldn't get her heart to pay close attention to whether other boys were really good or not.
He does not mean that. Liu Chen has long been disheartened after repeated blows to Jin Rong. Friends around him also alienated him because of his "self-willed depravity". He didn't expect that at this time, someone would say that he is a good boy! (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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