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Chapter One Three (5)

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    ?

    September 1, 2006

    When she entered the classroom this morning, Wang Li started laughing with a bunch of sluts, and she knew she was laughing at me without listening to the content.  They stopped laughing when they saw me standing in the doorway.

    I squeezed the hem of my clothes and walked towards them. When I walked past Wang Li, I said to her, be careful not to smile with your mouth crooked, and no one will want it.  She sneered.  I really wanted to slap her at the time, and I swore that if I had such an opportunity in the future, I would slap her so that she didn't even know her family.

    September 4, 2006

    Today, a new boy was transferred to the class. He seemed to be called Pan Daming.  But fortunately, judging by his appearance, he should not be like Wang Li, I hope he is not.

    September 8, 2006

    It's still the same as before. When everyone saw me, it was like seeing a plague god, and they had to take a detour.  I just want to tell them that my disease is cured and I am a normal person, why are they still so afraid of me?  Besides, the disease is not contagious.  I'm really tired of being in this cold school. I don't feel that I have any friends. I only feel those indifferent eyes and expressions. I always feel that bitch Wang Li is laughing at me behind my back.  Every night when I go to sleep, I wake up when I think of Wang Li's stinky face.

    I really want to leave this school and this temperatureless city, but where can I go?

    September 9, 2006

    I went to the hospital today, and the doctor said that as long as I don't get a huge stimulus, there will be no recurrence.  Basically, I can live a normal life.  But is it really possible?  Can I have a smile like a normal person?

    September 11, 2006

    Ha ha!  I finally slapped that bitch, it was so enjoyable.  Looking at her ugly face that was distorted with a surprised expression, I really felt so happy. Who told her to call me "crazy" in class.  She called me "crazy woman" and ran out crying.

    Although I was still very angry, the slap was really discouraging, and I used the greatest strength in my life.  I believe that Wang Li must be in great pain, there is no way anyone can make her feel cheap, she can't feel the spiritual pain she brought to me, so I can only let her bear the physical pain.

    But according to her temper, she will definitely not let it go. I made her so embarrassed in class this time, and she will definitely find a chance to take revenge.

    September 13, 2006

    ? That newcomer Pan Daming can do magic tricks. He showed me several magic tricks today. It¡¯s really amazing. I don¡¯t know how he can do magic tricks so fast.

    He was the first one to make me happy in school, maybe it was just because he was a freshman, if it took a long time, I don't know if he would start to hate me like everyone else.

    September 17, 2006

    The rain has been lingering for two days. I don¡¯t know why the weather has started to be cold in mid-September.  I hate rainy days, I can't feel the temperature if I can't see the sun, and rainy days always bring me a melancholy feeling.

    Let it clear up!

    September 22, 2006

    After I slapped Wang Li, she has not retaliated until now, not even making cold remarks.  Instead, he began to treat me better, and every time he greeted me, there was less sarcastic look in his eyes.  But this made me feel even more terrible, not knowing what she was thinking.

    October 1, 2006

    It's the National Day, and whenever it's a festival, the class is always very lively and asks where to play, I always feel very lost, and I also want to play everywhere with my classmates.  But every time there is only one person staying at home, just because I was not a normal person, but can this be decided by me?  Is it my fault?  I don't understand.

    October 2, 2006

    I don't know where that Pan Daming got my mobile phone number.  No one in the class has my mobile phone number, and today they even sent a text message to ask me out to hang out.  It feels incredible.  Although I was very happy in my heart, I still rejected him because I was a little scared. After all, I didn't know how to face a boy I was not familiar with.

    When I rejected him, he sent a crying face, and suddenly I thought this silly boy was quite cute.

    October 4, 2006

    Today, Pan Daming sent me another text message, asking me why I was always so lonely, and I just told him not to worry too much.

    Why am I always so lonely?  I don't know why I am always so lonely, I only know that my classmates have started to avoid me since I got the disease and came out of the hospital.  I'm like a broom star, whoever sees me hides away, for fear that others will know that they are with me, even meMy friends also left me one by one under Wang Li's instigation.  The teacher even started to look at me with strange eyes, no matter what I did, I never said a word.  I am like a transparent person, whether I have it or not is the same, and I will never exist in the sight of others.

    Maybe one day, when I die, when this disappearance reaches the ears of these people, they should just "oh" to show that they know.

    It seems that I should not belong to this world.

    October 6, 2006

    Mom took me to the mall today.  Except for going to school and going to the hospital this year, this is the first time for me to go out. I basically stay at home. I am used to the quiet and I start to hate the noisy environment. I just want to go home quickly.  Originally, my mother wanted to help me buy two more clothes, but I refused.

    I feel that no matter what kind of good-looking clothes are worn, they are worn by people who will come to appreciate me, and no matter how beautiful I am now, no one will come to take a second look at me.  I also wear school uniforms at school, and even the nicest clothes I buy are a waste.  Every time my mother asks me if I want this dress, I just shake my head. In order to help me see a doctor, my parents have already spent a lot of money. I don¡¯t want them to spend money on such small things.  The clothes are actually enough.

    During dinner, my mother said to me that no matter what the future will be like, I am her best daughter, I hope I can be stronger, and if something happens to me one day, she will definitely not let me be here  Alone in hell, she will always be with me.

    When I said this, I cried.  At the same time, I also decided that as long as there is a person who loves me in the world, I will live strong for this person who loves me.

    October 7, 2006

    Tomorrow is the end of the National Day holiday, and I have to go back to that disgusting school again.

    October 8, 2006

    ? When I entered the classroom in the morning, I saw Wang Li pulling Pan Daming to say something. When she found me at the door of the classroom, Wang Li immediately retracted her neck, and then walked past me with a smile.

    When she passed by me, she said good morning to me, but I ignored her and went back to my seat.  When I pulled out the chair, I deliberately slammed the back of the chair against Pan Daming's desk with great force, and said sorry to him coldly.  He looked like he was taken aback. He was about to say something to me, but he shrank back.

    I ignored Pan Daming all morning. This morning I have been calling Pan Daming a bastard. Why didn't you explain it to me?  Still guilty?  It seemed that I was just blind and thought he could be different from others.  In fact, I was wrong, he is the same as everyone else, I should not believe that there will be white crows in the world.

    During the first class in the afternoon, Pan Daming stuffed me with a piece of paper.

    ¡ª¡ªWhy are you ignoring me?

    I wanted to throw it away, but I wrote a few words heavily, crumpled it up and threw it to him¡ª¡ª

    Leave far away.

    Pan Daming shook his head when he saw it.

    ¡ª¡ªWhat's the matter?

    ¡ª¡ªWhat did you say to that bitch?

    Pan Daming tore up the paper, as if he didn't want me to know what they were talking about, he lay down on the table and fell asleep.

    I decided not to talk to him anymore.

    October 10, 2006

    I haven't spoken to Pan Daming for three days. He seems to be playing around with those boys as usual. It seems that he is very familiar with the people in the class.  I shouldn't have hoped that Pan Daming would be someone who could understand me.  Today I have been looking at Wang Li, and the corner of her mouth is smiling even more than usual, as if she is saying to me "I won".

    Indeed, I lost.

    November 2, 2006

    Happiness does not belong to me.

    December 23, 2006

    No one will believe me, no one will believe what a madman says.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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