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At that time, although Chu Lihua felt that she didn't need these for the time being, she took notes seriously.
Thinking that it will definitely be useful in the future. Unexpectedly, it was not because of my own children that I used it first. And in order to win over the relationship with Miss Finance Jiao.
¡ª¡ª"Children are not capable or skilled and need correct encouragement, but when children make mistakes, the second method must be used.
When a child violates the rules, parents should use a "firm" attitude to implement the agreement and rules, rather than use a "tough" attitude to force the child to abide by the rules.
Children living in this society need to learn to respect the rules. He has to understand that order and rules are part of freedom, and that if you don't keep order, other people's freedom will be affected.
In fact, parents don't have to use strong methods to set rules for their children. The secret is this: Know what firmness is and make the most of it. There is a difference between being firm and being tough.
Toughness means that we impose our own wishes on our children, and we order them to do what we want; firmness means doing what we should do and carrying it out to the end.
for example. Mom drives her two kids to the playground. On the way, the two children were fighting and fighting in the car, but the mother didn't listen to what she said, and it became more and more excessive.
Mom pulls over, yells at the two kids, and continues driving to the playground. Seeing that their mother was angry, the two children were able to be quiet for a while, but it didn't take long for them to start arguing again.
When a child is disobedient, he is actually declaring to his mother: "You can't control me" and "You can't do anything about me". In this power struggle, my mother lost completely.
The correct way is to tell the two children in a calm and serious tone for the last time after warning the children twice to no avail, if you make any more noise, we will cancel our plan to go to the playground and go home immediately.
If the child continues to make noise, the mother will really turn around the car and resolutely return on the same road, resolutely canceling the playground plan.
No need to explain, no blame, no rhetoric, canceling the playground is enough to make the children dumbfounded. The next time they go out, they will definitely sit in the back seat obediently, without making any noise.
In addition to respecting the rules, children must also respect others. Respect is mutual, let your child know that if you want your own rights to be respected, you must respect the rights of others as well.
In many things, there is no need for adults to humble children. In an equal relationship, everyone has the same rights.
This is the third method we are going to talk about to avoid and resolve power struggles. Teach children to respect the rights of others.
For example, children's ability to express is limited. If they can't express many emotions, they will often be released by crying or beating others.
Take the example of a four-year-old boy. If the child is slightly dissatisfied with what the mother does, he will be very angry and start beating the mother. The mother's way of coping was to make an expression that she was hurt at the beginning, but she didn't get the child's sympathy or apology.
Because, at that time, he just wanted to express his dissatisfaction with his mother, and he had no other emotions other than this, and of course he didn't feel that he should apologize for hitting his mother.
This situation is because the mother believes that all rights are on the side of the child, and in the process of power struggle, the mother gives up.
In fact, in an equal relationship, everyone has the same rights. Mothers have the responsibility to teach their children this, and the key is the way of "teaching".
For example, when the child hits the mother again, maybe the mother can say: "Ah, I see, you want to play the game of Paida Da". Then hit the child with the same strength and in the same position.
The child may become more angry and hit the mother again. Mom still maintains the attitude of the game, and then fight back. Mom continues the game until the child stops by himself.
At this time, few children are willing to continue playing this game. Maybe when they hit someone for the first time, they acted impulsively without thinking, but when the second time their mother said "this is a Paida game", they quickly stopped. Because they are also afraid of pain.
In this way, we teach our children to respect the rights of others - if you don't like others beating you, don't beat others. All people are equal, and children should respect adults.
Only when people respect each other and everyone abides by the rules, will there be a harmonious atmosphere for doing things together.
The first three methods we just mentioned have laid a good foundation for the fourth method. A fourth way to avoid power struggles is to win cooperation.
That is to say, when letting children learn skills or overcome difficulties, it is necessary to use the "parent-child cooperation" method,Rather than the "adults give instructions, children passively carry out" approach.
Give an example of doing housework. The mother assigns housework to the four children. The eldest is responsible for cleaning the bathroom, the second is responsible for washing dishes, the third is responsible for cleaning the living room, and the fourth is responsible for taking out the garbage.
Every day, in order to let them do their job well, mother first reminded them, then scolded them, and finally yelled and punished them.
She always said to her children: "You better cooperate, or you will be good-looking!" Obviously, what the mother meant was: "You have to do what I ask you to do, and you will be punished if you don't obey."
She compulsively decides what each child should do and orders them to do it. This kind of compulsion stimulates rebellion and challenge, and the children will resist this pressure.
The mother's attitude in assigning housework shows that she is the boss, while the child's reaction is: "Come on, let's see what will happen if you force me?" This is a power struggle and non-cooperation.
The right way to win your child's cooperation is to encourage the whole family to share the responsibility of life.
Mom can have a meeting with all family members to make a list of chores, and then Mom chooses which job she should do first.
Ask everyone again, what about the rest of the work? Let dad and kids choose the jobs they want to do. This shows that adults respect children and let them choose and decide what to do.
If someone doesn't do what he was supposed to do, mom doesn't have to say anything, and she doesn't have to help him. A week after the job was abandoned, Mom called a meeting and said, "What are we going to do about the third child who didn't clean the living room last week?"
This "we" handed over the responsibility to all people, mother is no longer an authority, but a leader. Everyone's suggestions will be respected and an acceptable solution will be reached in the end. The pressure from the whole family is the effective pressure.
The team will motivate each member to work for the good of the whole, and each member will pay attention to the overall needs of the family. Collaboration means that each member works individually to accomplish what is best for the team. "(Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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