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Chapter 548 Fighting is not a bad thing

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    ?

    In the company, the atmosphere has not been so strong for a long time. Chu Lihua estimated that she had been out for at least an hour.  However, no one will notice.

    Sure enough, Mr. Wang was in trouble, and the whole company felt like it was going to collapse.

    However, Chu Lihua reckoned that the headquarters just didn't know the situation here, otherwise, a new regional director would definitely be sent over.

    After all, this is a large group company, distributed in various districts of Beijing and many surrounding cities.

    It's just that everyone is procrastinating in such a negative way, the office has become a bustling place like a vegetable market.

    After Chu Lihua sat down, she drank water and started to make a phone call.

    Since Qing Yunfei has already taken the first step, why doesn't he accumulate more customers now?  Anyway, it will be useful for leaving the company in the future.

    There are actually quite a few people who think this way. After all, it is impossible for the headquarters to just throw away this sub-region. The current accumulation is also for future outbreaks.

    Therefore, amidst the din, there are still a group of employees sitting at their workstations and making calls.

    Seriously, time flies by.

    It wasn't until colleagues in twos and threes filed out from the door next to her that Chu Lihua put down the phone, tidied up the desk at the workstation, and packed up her things to go home.

    Just after cleaning up, Yang Jinmei came to look for Chu Lihua.

    Today, it seems that there is one more person in the same company.

    Chu Lihua didn't ask much. It wasn't until Yang Jinmei chatted with her when she got out of the building that Chu Lihua heard some clues.

    The probable reason is that the female colleague in Yang Jinmei's group lives with her parents, and always quarrels for various reasons, even some trivial matters, but her parents don't agree with her going out to rent a house alone.

    What Chu Lihua didn't expect was Yang Jinmei's persuasion.

    ——"Behind the quarrel is the desire to be understood.

    Let's first take a look at what state we are in when we quarrel.

    Usually, our emotion is anger.  I can express it in yelling, crying, and hysterical ways, and I can't help but say a lot of angry and hurtful things that I wouldn't normally say, to attack the other party.

    Behind the anger, there are often suppressed unmet needs in our hearts.

    How many children have very low requirements, they only hope that their parents can hear their true inner voice.

    The angrier a person is, the greater the desire to be understood.

    Just like a baby, when he can't get what he wants, he will lose his temper, cry and cry, and beat him.

    Because you want so much to be understood, express yourself with all your might.

    But when you have a good talk with the other party, the other party "can't hear" your cries and "can't see" your needs, so you are very angry, "Why can't he understand me", you can only use angry  ways to express dissatisfaction.

    And the more angry you are, the less the other party can understand you.

    The less the other party understands you, the greater your desire for understanding,

    The flames of the quarrel were on the verge of breaking out, and it was out of control.

    Especially in the face of those closest to us, we are the least defensive.  All our shortcomings are exposed in front of them, and they are most eager to get their unconditional acceptance and understand our emotions.

    But they are just ordinary people, not good communicators, not consultants, not so strong empathy ability, unable to receive the signals you need to understand, so they can only quarrel with you.  "

    Because of the different roads, the female colleague separated from Chu Lihua and the others just after entering the subway station.

    At this time, Chu Lihua asked why Yang Jinmei had such a deep understanding.

    ——"Liu Zhijie's family is healthy and harmonious. I often go back to live with his parents with him on weekends, and I slowly realized it.

    Because quarrels between family members rarely occur in their family.  You also know that children who grow up in an environment like ours are very sensitive.

    Facing such a happy family, you will definitely reflect on why your original family is unhappy.  This slowly sums up the experience.  "

    When Yang Jinmei was talking, she always looked up at Liu Zhijie from time to time. It seemed that Liu Zhijie's influence on Yang Jinmei was exactly what she wanted!

    Children who grow up in happy native families are a good medicine for them, a life-saving medicine!

    ——"You and Liu Zhijie are really a match made in heaven, and it can be regarded as a marriage of thousands of miles! ?When will you get married?  "

    Chu Lihua was extremely envious.

    ——"Actually, we are like this in front of you, but we will quarrel.

    but.  To us.  Sometimes a fight can be the catalyst for a better relationship.

    Every time you quarrel, express your dissatisfaction and requirements clearly, but it will enhance the relationship.

    Therefore, quarreling is not necessarily a bad thing, and you don't have to blame yourself too much.

    The education we have received since we were young always teaches us to learn to be tolerant, understand others, and not lose our temper.

    This determinates the quarrel and makes it difficult to express anger.

    But you can suppress it for a while, but not for a lifetime.

    If you don't release your anger externally, you are likely to attack yourself internally or release it in other ways.

    For example, from time to time, provoke, stimulate, and sarcasm the other party, turning suppressed anger into low pressure at home, cold war These ways of dealing with conflicts are also terrible for the relationship.  "

    Yang Jinmei explained to Chu Lihua as if she had come here.

    ——"That is to say, sometimes, quarreling does not break the relationship, but it is a catalyst for a better relationship, giving you the opportunity to solve the existing problems in the relationship.

    The premise is that you sincerely express your true feelings and needs, and are willing to understand why the other party is angry, wronged, and sad, and give the other party a chance to understand you.

    That is, in a quarrel, let each other see the truest self.

    At the heart of every argument, there are unfulfilled longings that, once fulfilled, transform into the basis for intimacy and fulfillment.  "

    Chu Lihua quickly concluded——

    "However, a healthy quarrel is to solve the problem, not to quarrel for the sake of quarreling, nor to torture the other party.

    So, be careful when quarreling, and don't insult the other party, or deliberately uncover the most painful scars that the other party cares about most.

    Think that you are not so cruel to ordinary friends and strangers, and don't easily hurt the closest people like this.

    Also, knowing exactly what makes you angry and who you're angry with can help you understand where you stand, what's important, and how to deal with it emotionally.  "

    When Yang Jinmei said this, Liu Zhijie told her that they had reached the station where they should get off and change trains.

    Waving goodbye, Chu Lihua seriously recalled the good words Yang Jinmei gave her just now.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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