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Chapter 59: Persistence

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    ?

    Every day is spent in busy self-entertainment, such days let me know how to live a frugal life.  Although it¡¯s not like going out early and returning late, getting up early every day and going out to sing and play the piano really makes me feel very practical and happy every day.

    Gradually, I stopped not only at the entrance of the shopping mall, but also at the side of the main street and the small stone bridge in the west of the city. After many days of hard work, some friends have even spared some time to come and listen to me singing a few songs  Song.  These subtle changes make me feel very happy. Although they are all insignificant bits and pieces, they are changing my life in different ways and enriching my ideals.

    I have not taken the initiative to contact my former friends for a long time, and I have not even called Sister Shi Yu who has always cared for me.  Because I think it is cowardly to make this choice at this time and tell others.  What I need at this time is not help and sympathy, but a firm heart and unshakable faith.

    Occasionally, I would also receive text messages from Luo Qing. We just greeted each other like friends, without any emotion beyond friendship.  The fantasy of love has become more mature.

    Sometimes Sister Shi calls to ask about my recent state and life, I just smile and perfunctory, because I know that my behavior cannot be recognized by other people, even if I persist, no one can change it  my will.

    I have gradually gotten used to the daily income of one hundred and eighty yuan from singing and singing. From the initial fear of being ridiculed by others to the later numbness, and now to laughing it off, my mentality is also changing with the situation.  Constantly changing.  Now that I am in such an era and facing such embarrassment, I also know that I have to learn to adapt now, because no one knows whether there are still bigger storms ahead.

    Zhao Kewen is the only one who knows that I go out to sell and sing every day, and I have indeed concealed it from her, but although she looks careless on the outside, she is a very delicate person on the inside.  When she knew the truth, she came to stop me more than once to stop me from continuing to live like this. From the initial dissuasion to the later, I really couldn't resist my financial assistance. Of course, I didn't accept it.

    At this time, no one will have trouble with money, unless it is a fool or a lunatic.  I also want to live the life of a rich man, but I have my own bottom line. I have to work hard to make money by myself, not by charity.

    In fact, I¡¯m not alone these days. In addition to sister Kewen who would come to mock me every day, I would often receive calls from Zhang Tongtong¡¯s girl during the day, asking where I was, and then came to sing.  Help me increase my income.  In fact, I know that she also began to like this kind of casual life and the feeling of singing freely, but due to the limitation of her identity, she can only sneak out to sing for a while occasionally.

    After staying outside for a long time, I often meet some former classmates or local acquaintances.  Whenever I face them, that is the most painful time for me, because no matter how soft I temper my mentality, my heart will still be hurt when I see their incomprehension and doubts.  But what makes me sadder behind this kind of injury is their forced smiles.

    Every time this happens, I also ask myself whether it is really meaningful to do so, is it really better than the days of working part-time?  I don't have an answer.

    The life of singing has changed my circle drastically. In the past, I tried every means to get to know those bar owners and band leaders, and wanted to take a shortcut that could change my current situation.  But now the people I know are ordinary people with similar backgrounds to me in the market and the streets, such as aunts who sell boxed lunches, cleaners who wake up to clean the streets in the morning, and uncles who have nothing to do to fish under the bridge.

    Getting along with them made me understand that there is nothing wrong with an ordinary life. People need to know what they want to do and what they can do well.  Occasionally when my Xiaoshiqiao is singing, I will try to see if I can meet the kind man who once saved my life and Zhao Kewen's life, but fate and fate are hard to say, even though I have searched repeatedly for a long time, there is still nothing to gain.

    ? When I first started singing and singing, I also had fantasies that I could rise slowly, but these fantasies were also worn away in the long and peaceful life.  Struggle is everyone's right, but it is not God's responsibility to make you successful.

    Although these days are ordinary, they are not monotonous, and they happen at different times every day.  For example, just two days ago I received a call from An Ye, and what he said on the phone completely shocked me.

    "Chenzi, I feel like I'm in love with Youqin?" said An Ye on the other end of the phone.

    "Are you sure you are love, not??Like it?  "

    "I don't know, I just feel that she always appears in my mind every day, and I'm a little obsessed with her."

    After I heard what An Ye said, I was silent for a long time. I didn't know whether I should support him or stop him.  This kind of one-sided obsession is very dangerous, and it is very easy to fall into it and cannot extricate yourself, just like me before, just waiting for the harm that will come sooner or later without knowing it.

    "Yezi, you know she is not an ordinary girl, she is a person with many stories, maybe she has no love in her heart, don't be too persistent"

    "I knowbut I still want to try. She is the woman I've been waiting for. I really have no reason to let myself miss it." An Ye's voice was a little anxious.

    "We really don't know her well enough. You and I don't even know her name. Your persistence may only reward you with harm" I sighed, I really didn't want An Ye to end up with nothing but her  With bruises and a broken heart.

    "Chenzi, do you have her contact information?"

    Of course I understood An Ye's thoughts, and hung up the phone after a soft promise.

    Finding Youqin's phone number, I hesitated for a long time before sending it to An Ye. I don't know if I did it right, but I don't have any other way to deal with An Ye's unrealistic situation more reasonably.  emotion.

    An Ye has always been my strongest brother. Although he is a bit cowardly at times, I admire his seriousness in dealing with feelings.  I don't want him to embark on an emotional path of no return, but everyone has their own pursuits and their own definition of love. At this moment and here, I have no choice but to silently wish him happiness.

    If anyone could find an ideal love, but God just likes to give a beautiful love to two people who don't take it seriously, and arrange an impossible love for those who pay endlessly for their feelings  ¡­

    "What a fucking bitch" Thinking of this, I cursed.

    I don't know whether what I'm scolding is this unpredictable love or these poor people who have let down love. Whether I am Zhao Kewen or I am a person who has been abused by this kind of self-righteous love, maybe there really is such a thing in this world.  Ideal love, unfortunately, I have never seen it.

    The days go by like this day by day, and life is also moving forward in my aimless playing and singing.  Today's weather is gradually getting colder, and people's clothes are beginning to change from cool summer clothes to slightly more conservative autumn clothes, and autumn is officially here.

    I also changed into thicker long sleeves and jeans, but I still spent most of the day in the aisles and parks of various shopping malls.

    ? Occasionally I worry about what to do in the days to come. In autumn, I may be able to sell and sing outside, but can I really save a winter fund before winter comes?  Sitting on the ground with my guitar in my arms and eating my boxed lunch, I really can't think of any good way to maintain the days that will only be more difficult in the future.

    Perhaps the best way for me in winter is to take a long-term job, but once I make such a choice again, what is the point of everything I am trying to persist now?

    I skillfully packed the finished box lunch in a convenience bag, and sighed in my heart, maybe I should really go back to my hometown to find a way out this winter, and this huge city may really not be suitable for such a me.

    Leaning against the wall and looking at the piano box lying flat on the ground, I want to encourage myself to persevere, but I really have no reason to deceive my heart anymore, and I can't cover up such a life of surviving.

    Just as I was feeling sorry for myself, a familiar figure in the distance walked towards me slowly. She was dressed in a black windbreaker, shiny black high heels, and sunglasses that covered nearly half of her face.  My memory has begun to become blurred, but when she really appeared in front of me again, I felt that everything was so real¡ªit was Luo Qing who came.

    Seeing Luo Qing's cool appearance in black clothes, I recalled her heroic appearance when she taught the fat woman a lesson, but later on, I never saw her appearing in this dress again.  The impression is also full of bright red.

    I watched in amazement as she slowly approached me, and she didn't stop until she was only a piano box away from me.

    I wanted to talk but found that there was nothing to talk about at all. She and I seemed to have returned to the original relationship without knowing it.  There is no longer any intersection.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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