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saxophone love

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    ?

    Wang Nuo

    In Xi Li's novel "The Pain of the Ruins", Xi Li once again described this "saxophone-like" desire.  The protagonist Joan is intoxicated in the saxophone player's performance. She hears that the musician conveys the same secrets and excitement as hers to her through the music, and feels a kind of excitement similar to public flirting or even public sexual intercourse.  She opened her heart in the music, "light as a feather, slowly soaring".  However, this feeling of love was not all light and relaxing, it also caused her pain and fear.  "I don't know why, this music seems to be the prelude to the disaster, the dizzying moment before the horrible scene, the sweet ecstasy when the devil comes" Even so, Joan was still intoxicated by it, as if she intentionally or unintentionally  Realizing or feeling that it is impossible to taste the ultimate sweetness without pain, and to experience the ultimate excitement and ecstasy without fear, the other face of the angel of love is the devil of love.  Joan even dated the saxophonist more than once in her dreams, made love to him, and "had a great time, and arrived in bed soon."  **After that, there is "an unsearchable emptiness", "like in a dream" ("Pain of Ruins", pp. 279-281).  In such a dream she goes to him—

    touch this music

    Your hair is in my hands

    Make a pure sound

    Like autumn straw-

    that sweet gold

    You, king of my soul

    High above

    My emotions

    By your order

    this music this other you

    ? More gentle and pure

    Forever deep in my heart——

    "Selected Poems of Xili", page 48

    This poem is reminiscent of Dickinson's famous music poem:

    He touches your soul

    Like a luthier touching a keyboard—

    Before all the music is thrown with a bang——

    He gradually dizzies you, scale by scale——

    Prepare your fragile nature

    Accept a light hammer

    That subtle tap - heard in the distance -

    Then a little closer—then—slowly—

    Your breath—time to ease—

    Your brain - chills -

    He sent a—a kingly thunderbolt—

    Uncover the skin of your ** soul——

    When the claws of the wind grip the woods—

    The whole universe—a silence———

    Translated from r. w. franklin ed., the poems of emily dickinson, the belknap press of harvard university press, 1998, pp. 218—219.

    Xili’s saxophone series ** poems are similar to Di in terms of conception (music conveys love and passion, dreamlike poetry, etc.) and imagery (such as wind, musical instruments, musicians, touch, soul, fear, king, silence, etc.)  There are similarities between Jinsen's poems, which to some extent weaken the originality of this series of poems in the world poetry circle.  However, it is obvious that this series of poems still has new creations and new expansions.  Its "wind" of two-way communication, its strengthening of the musician's image, its stimulation and excitement of secret communication in front of everyone, its extended expression of the situation and mentality after the emptiness, especially the tenderness and purity of the final expression,  Both surpassed Dickinson.  I especially appreciate the last point.  Xili expresses the tenderness and sweetness of oriental women in sexual intercourse, especially after sexual intercourse, the diverse and complex state of mind that includes happiness, joy, love, and gratitude: she quietly  , Slowly and gently stroking his hair, as if playing, touching music.  If his stroking and squeezing the keys just now pushed the music to the extreme, then after a short silence, it was her who played again, playing a soothing and tender serenade.  She played without an instrument, without strings, without keys, and she made his hair the strings of a harp, playing such pure and sweet music.

    Pure!  This word is used so well and so meaningfully!  Most of the love poets in the past used this word before the sexual act, it seems that once there is a physical relationship, it is no longer pure.  Xili obviously didn't see it that way.  She uses purity after sex, indicating that she values ??the purity of the heart of love more, just as Hardy regards Tess after the loss rather than the previous Tess as a "pure woman".  Two lovers who love each other are full of desire, worry, fear, tension, suspicion, and lack of self-confidence before their first sexual act. At that stage, even if they are virgins, their souls are not pure, and it is difficult to be pure.  However, during the quiet time after the intense physical love is completely released, the two in love enter a kind of brain-empty feeling.? In the state of not thinking about anything, all distracting thoughts, worries, and fears completely disappear, and the whole mind becomes spotless, as pure as a cloudless blue sky, as ethereal as a clear and boundless dream.  Entering into such a state of clarity is true purity.  Xili showed such a clean sexual realm, revealing her unique sexual outlook.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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