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Chapter 81 Make up your mind

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    ?

    Chen Feng's attitude was as expected.  She believed that Chen Feng would die for Xinxin.  But what she was most worried about was Xinxin. It seemed that Chen Feng was also aware of this.

    "Are you afraid Xinxin won't accept it?" Sunshine asked.

    Chen Feng nodded, and said sadly: "I don't know if she is still angry with me now. I kept calling her and her phone was disconnected. Later, I thought she must have changed the card. When I came back the day before yesterday and passed by the county seat,  I went downstairs to you, but I didn't dare to look for her."

    "What did you use to make a call? Did you lose your mobile phone?" Sunshine asked.  She remembered that Chen Feng's mobile phone was lost and was picked up by Yang Xin's mother, and later she gave it to Xinxin.

    "Public phone," Chen Feng said while taking out his mobile phone, "I drank too much wine when I came back from Xinxin's house that day, and I lost my mobile phone somehow, and I never bought it. I bought this mobile phone the day before yesterday. But she is not  No answer, it was shut down, and it was still like this until the day before yesterday, so I think she is still angry with me, she doesn't want to see me at all, so I didn't dare to go to her."

    Sunshine confirmed Xinxin's change of card, and then said to Chen Feng: "Your mobile phone is at Xinxin's place now."

    "Is it with her? Why is it with her? Did I leave it at her house? No, I beat her when I came out of her house?" Chen Feng was very surprised and confused.

    So Sunshine told Chen Feng what happened, and how he and Xinxin went to Yang Xin's house.

    Speaking of Yang Xin, Chen Feng was heartbroken again. He was also very grateful to Aunt Yang, but now his attention was more on Xinxin.

    "Thank you, Sister Sunshine." He murmured, almost crying again, "So Xinxin can forgive me? Can she still accept me?"

    However, Sunshine sighed and said: "But, although she doesn't reject you so strongly anymore, from some of her words during this period, I feel that she has given up on her own, and she doesn't want to answer your phone, which also shows this point.  So your worries do exist, and they are exactly what I am worried about, but now it seems that I can only rely on you, Xinxin and her parents have different blood types, and she has no brothers or sisters."

    Sunshine told Chen Feng Xinxin's new number, and Chen Feng recorded it in his phone, and then fell silent.  Chen Feng also thought that Xinxin's parents might not be suitable for donating a kidney, but he didn't expect that it was because of their different blood types. He felt very strange and felt that he had a great responsibility.  But Sunshine's words made him a little uneasy again. He thought, if Xinxin really gave up by himself, what should he do?

    "Oh, you are also a pair of bitter lovers, I just love Xinxin." Sunshine sighed sadly.

    Sunshine's words "bitter lover" made Chen Feng's heart feel like a needle prick.  Yes, isn't it bitter?  Is there anything more painful than parting from life and death?  Love should be sweet, but they seem to be soaked in bitter water.

    "She loves you too deeply, and you love Yang Xin too deeply. She understands you, but maybe because of understanding you, she gave up on herself, love, and life. Chen Feng, tell me,  Do you love Xinxin? In your eyes, is she really just the embodiment of Yang Xin?"

    Sunshine stared closely at Chen Feng's eyes and asked.  She didn't know Xinxin's true feelings towards Chen Feng now, but she only knew that Xinxin no longer had the same strong reaction to Chen Feng as before, and seemed to be a lot more amiable.

    Chen Feng met the sunshine's gaze like lightning, and did not avoid it.  He knew that Sunshine wanted to open his heart to take a look, but at this moment there was nothing in his heart that needed to be hidden.  He said emotionally: "Sister Sunshine, to be honest, I really thought that at first, and I confessed this to Xinxin. I know that doing this is unfair to Xinxin, and I hurt her, but I also feel sorry for her."  I can't help it, I also ask myself, is it just that? Don't I love her? But I can't answer myself, which makes me very painful, so I choose to stay away, stay away for a long time, I want time to be for me  Make a correct answer."

    "Then, after such a long time, what is your answer?" Sunshine asked.

    "During such a long time, I haven't missed a single day of Xinxin. The longer the time, the more painful this longing is. It's like countless bugs biting my heart. Sister Sunshine, do you think I love her?" Chen Feng  Asked at the end.

    Without waiting for Sunshine to speak, Chen Feng went on to say: "Because of longing, I lost sleep; because of longing, I got drunk; because of longing, I broke into someone's house to play the piano when I heard the sound of the piano. You say, this is love for me.  her?"

    Sunshine was quite moved when he saw that Chen Feng's sincere eyes were filled with tears, and the muscles on his face were throbbing with endless pain.

    "Then why didn't you come back sooner?" she asked.

    "Because I want to try my best to prove that I really love her, because I want to learn from the pain of missing her.?As a teacher, it affects both personal reputation and work, so he kindly reminds me.

    Chen Feng smiled wryly and said: "Principal, you really misunderstood." After speaking, he walked to the piano room again.

    Back in the piano room, Chen Feng was no longer in the mood to prepare lessons.  When Xinxin got such a serious illness, it was like a tsunami, setting off huge waves in his heart.  what to do?  According to Sunshine, although Xinxin has forgiven herself, she still doesn't want to see her. She wants to give up her life. It must be because she loves herself and doesn't want to hurt herself.  But now that I really love her, if she wants to leave her alone in this world, isn't that the same as taking her own life?

    At noon, Chen Feng didn't even eat, he didn't feel hungry at all.  Chen Feng thought about it, but he still had no good idea. He held the phone in his hand and pressed Xinxin's number several times. The strange thing was that the new number Sunshine gave him was also turned off.  Chen Feng was puzzled, but he thought, Sunshine was right, it's best not to rush to find Xinxin before he has a good idea, and it doesn't matter if he calls or not.

    But for a while, he couldn't think of an idea. Throughout the afternoon, he was stunned for a while, and hesitated for a while.

    When school was over, on the way home, I was facing the setting sun slantingly hanging on the treetops. The light was still strong and a bit dazzling, but it was about to fall after all.

    Chen Feng thought of Xinxin, just like the sun, the splendid life is about to disappear.  But the sun has set, and it will rise tomorrow, but Xinxin will be forever.  This made him feel like a thorn in his heart.  The first Xinxin is gone, will the second Xinxin also leave me?  Is fate really so cruel and merciless to oneself?  If this is the case, then I have no intention of staying in this world full of pain anymore!

    When he got home, Chen Feng made up his mind: live and die with Xinxin!  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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