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Many people can't tell what kind of sense of superiority they want to achieve, so they can only explore slowly. Even if they find a clear goal, there are different ways to achieve it.
What methods you take to make up for your inferiority complex and realize your sense of superiority reflect your character, or, according to Adler, your attitude towards life.
Therefore, in the view of individual psychology, inferiority complex is like an engine that provides thrust behind, and superiority is like a locomotive that pulls you in front. These two emotions together provide the motivation to surpass yourself, allowing you to Fly on track to improve yourself.
After such an explanation, Chu Lihua instantly understood that there are two sides of things that complement each other, and the other side cannot exist independently.
However, everything is too much to go too far. Adler especially reminded one problem, that is, self-transcendence is of course good, but it must not be derailed. Don¡¯t go in the wrong direction because of too much anxiety, and enter the misunderstanding of inferiority complex.
What is an inferiority complex? It means that if a person just can't solve the real problem and dare not face difficulties, he can only put the problem aside; then turn around and find a sense of superiority from the messy little things.
Perhaps it is what everyone calls a paper tiger, but it is actually an inferiority complex. Paper tigers can't do things well by themselves, and can't solve real problems, but they can prevent you from criticizing, and if they do a good job of suppressing criticism, they can gain a sense of superiority.
Adler recorded the story of one of his patients in his book.
This patient is a 16-year-old girl with problems. She has been stealing since she was 6 or 7 years old. She has been staying out at night since she was 12 years old, and she goes out to fool around with men every day.
Adler chatted with her and found that the girl hadn't received much care since she was a child. Her parents divorced when she was 2 years old. Her mother didn't love her or care about her at all, so she felt resentful.
In the end, the girl admitted herself, saying: "Actually, I don't like stealing things, and I don't like fooling around with those boys. I just want my mother to see her and let her know that she can't control me."
So she is actually taking advantage of these behaviors to take revenge on her mother.
Adler said that this is actually an inferiority complex. Because she is against her mother, but she is indeed not as strong as her mother, and cannot solve the real problem, so she can only use other methods, such as stealing things and staying out at night, to make up for her inferiority complex and gain a sense of superiority.
In fact, it is the wrong direction in the pursuit of superiority.
In addition, autistic behavior, crime, laziness, and adolescent rebellion are all problems caused by going in the wrong direction in the process of making up for inferiority complex and pursuing superiority, and failing to establish a correct attitude towards life.
Chu Lihua remembered that she ran away from home when she was adolescence, probably when she was in junior high school.
Is it because I really can't get the care of my parents that I made such a bad move?
Otherwise, it would be impossible for him to stay in such a conspicuous place as the gas station, so that people could easily notice him.
However, at that time, even though I ran away from home, I didn't wander around or spend money randomly.
Instead, turn left as soon as you encounter a fork in the road, which is actually leaving a way for yourself.
It's a pity that things didn't develop as I imagined; on the contrary, because of this incident, my mother had an additional basis to laugh at herself.
Hey, why did you think of your mother again?
However, it is very strange, now that I think of this, I no longer have that tingling feeling in my heart.
Did you let go? Understood? Or did you forgive?
Chu Lihua didn't know, she checked the time, at 9:30 in the evening, her parents should have closed the stall and went home to eat and sit watching TV.
Chu Lihua made a lot of drafts in her mind before she got through the phone.
It was her father who answered the phone. Chu Lihua first chatted with her father enthusiastically about the weather and the latest new policies.
Then, after the father complained a few words, the father and daughter had nothing to say.
Really couldn't find a topic, so my father wanted to call my mother, but Chu Lihua asked them if they were sleepy and going to sleep.
Surprisingly, today, my mother didn't answer the phone and went to have a long talk.
Just hang up the phone.
Is it unaccustomed or unsteady?
Chu Lihua couldn't explain clearly, anyway, she suddenly felt empty in her heart.
It seems that there is a feeling of being excluded from that home.
I really don't know what to say about myself. I hated it when I accused you of nagging, but now I ignore you, and I feel very lost.
backHe looked at the third baby who was already asleep, oh, maybe it's because he has a family, mother finally started to accept it slowly, right?
?Thinking of this, Chu Lihua felt sore in her heart, and her little family was now in pieces.
As if to escape from all this, Chu Lihua buried herself in her books again.
Where did you read just now? About human self-transcendence.
Chu Lihua recalled it in her mind and made a brief summary.
All of us have a sense of inferiority, and we are all trying to surpass it and pursue a sense of superiority. The two feelings of inferiority complex and superiority are the driving force that pushes you to surpass yourself and the basis of human progress.
But be careful not to take the wrong approach because of excessive anxiety, otherwise you will have an inferiority complex, leading to autism, crime and other problems.
What can I do to change my behavior and achieve self-transcendence?
Chu Lihua has a little understanding of Freud's theory. Freud emphasized the influence of childhood experiences on people. This is what she has always believed in.
Freud said that a person's personality is basically formed when you are five or six years old. If you have any behavioral problems as an adult, such as timidity and shyness, go back to your childhood experiences to see if you were frightened by things or strangers as a child.
In short, it is to look at the past and think that past experiences will determine a person's character and behavior, so it is difficult for Freud to change his behavior.
Since Adler is one of Freud's most proud disciples, and he finally stood up and sang the opposite show on his own, what about his philosophy?
Chu Lihua read on with the mentality of grasping at straws.
Her mother's attitude made her panic.
My own small family is incomplete, and everyone doesn't care about themselves so much.
She had no choice but to read books.
Individual Psychology gives us a chance to change ourselves. Adler also emphasized the influence of childhood experience on people. Once his patients encountered any problems, he had to find the reason from the patient's childhood experience.
But there is a very important difference between him and Freud: Adler believes that human experience cannot determine human behavior, because people can creatively interpret their own experience. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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