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The reason why Kang Xuming and others told Chu Lihua the truth was also because of her actions, which made everyone feel that such an ending was too unsettling.
This made Chu Lihua hesitate again. Although the man was sympathetic, he couldn't tolerate it like this.
Otherwise, people will imitate him like this in the future, then
Forget it, let's talk about it after I go out.
Discuss with that person, let her go out, and she will help him raise money?
Isn't this going the old way again?
However, the longer they stay here, the more the kids should
Long-term separation is very detrimental to the child's young spiritual development.
Thinking of the children, Chu Lihua's heart is extremely soft.
At the same time, through the situation at this time, Chu Lihua also vaguely understood that her parents abandoned her young self at that time, in fact, there was a lot of helplessness in her heart.
There is a saying that my mother said is quite right. She realized it after she gave birth to the twins, but she has been unwilling to admit it.
The child is a piece of flesh that fell from his body, how could he not care about it.
Chu Lihua thought, after she went out this time, she must go home and have a look.
Mother, no, mother really did her best to think of herself.
Although, with some mentality of comparing with others.
However, the environment in which she grew up was like that, as she herself said, "If you don't know how to read, if you haven't read a book for a day, you will know the great truths there."
Chu Lihua recalled a time when Xiao Qi and Qing Yunfei were alone at home, Xiao Qi was hungry and began to cry, but Qing Yunfei didn't notice;
When Xiao Qi cried louder, Qing Yunfei looked up, and after finishing the story on the phone, he walked to Xiao Qi's bed angrily and said, "What's the big deal?"
He thought that Xiao Qi needed to change her diaper, so he picked her up and changed her diaper silently, then put her back on the crib, and continued to look at her phone.
But Xiao Qi didn't stop crying. He thought Xiao Qi needed to take a nap, so he found a pacifier, covered her with a blanket, and closed the door, hoping that she would calm down, but these were still useless.
Later, Qing Yunfei looked at his watch and found that it had been 4 hours since the last breastfeeding. Only then did he realize that Xiao Qi might be hungry, so he sat down to feed the baby. Xiao Qi finally calmed down, but in fact Xiao Qi was already crying. It's been half an hour.
When Qing Yunfei was talking to Chu Lihua, Chu Lihua checked the information on purpose.
Through this experience, Xiaoqi knew that her father could not always understand the demand signal she sent.
If this happens often, the child will form an avoidant attachment pattern. In other words, the child will be as emotionally independent of his parents as possible, and the relationship between the child and others will become cold.
In order to prevent their hearts from becoming fragile, they constantly weaken the right brain's perception of emotions, and gradually rely on the rational thinking mode of the left brain.
So why does Qing Yunfei appear so indifferent? The book says that maybe in his childhood, he lacked emotional communication with his parents.
They don't seem to feel the existence of others, are insensitive to their children's feelings, and even ignore their own emotional signals, as if their childhood experience is blank.
But in fact, Chu Lihua knew that Qing Yunfei just didn't take Xiao Qi seriously at that time.
Think about how you treated Xiao Qi at the beginning.
As soon as Xiao Qi cried, she hurriedly picked her up and coaxed her in various positions, checked the diaper, tried to nurse her to sleep, be polite, and most of the time, the more anxious she was and the less she understood what Xiao Qi meant, the more upset she would be.
Later, I learned "new tricks" for a few days.
Xiao Qi cried again, although she heard it, she was very hesitant, not confident in comforting Xiao Qi, she hugged Xiao Qi very worriedly;
Suddenly remembered the process of Xiaoqi coming to this house, and her parents often quarreled when she was a child. She once secretly swore that she would never repeat the same mistakes.
At this time Xiao Qi was still crying, she thought this must be the saddest time for Xiao Qi, her nervous expression and her arms tightly wrapped around Xiao Qi did not comfort the child at all.
She fed Xiao Qi, and Xiao Qi stopped crying, but she still had a serious expression, because she didn't know how to comfort Xiao Qi next time she cried again.
After consulting the information, Chu Lihua knew again, if this is done, if similar situations happen frequently, what kind of attachment pattern will the child form? That is anxious attachment.
Children are not sure whether their parents can meet their needs, sometimes they can, sometimes they can't, this anxiety leads to a sense of uncertainty, will?The child feels that connections with others are unreliable.
? On the other hand, the parents of these children may have experienced changes in the care they received in childhood, or they may be overly dependent on care. When they become adults, they will be overly focused on attachment, and their hearts are full of contradictions and uncertainties.
This kind of focused attitude may prevent parents from feeling the signals from their children, and often feel depressed. This is the case for Mary, who struggles to buy shoes.
I remember that I have seen a foreign father's practice in TV dramas before. When his daughter cried, the father was so upset that he dropped the newspaper and ran directly to the child's bed, trying to stop her crying immediately.
He was very rude when he picked up the baby, and his daughter cried even louder because she was not only hungry but also very sick now.
The father realized that his daughter might be hungry, so he carried his daughter to the kitchen and quickly prepared a feeding bottle. In a hurry, the feeding bottle suddenly fell to the ground and shattered, and his daughter was so frightened that she cried even louder.
The dad became manic. He had images of his alcoholic mother who would beat him up when he was drunk. He swore he would never be like his mother.
At this time, the child stopped crying in her arms and stared blankly at the sky. The father realized that his mind was distracted, so he quickly prepared the bottle and sat down to feed the baby. After a while, the daughter turned to look at the father's face, her eyes were dull and expressionless.
The father's childhood experience deeply affected him, and he couldn't tell which were real and which were memories. If the daughter is upset, the father slips into a trance, gets caught up in his own emotional trauma, and throws the child aside, creating separation and fear in the parent-child relationship.
A child cannot learn to regulate her emotions because she finds intense emotions difficult to control. In this way, the child will form a disordered attachment pattern, it will be difficult to deal with the intense emotions of himself and others, and the child may have a tendency to split psychologically, and he will be powerless in the face of pressure.
In a trance, Chu Lihua remembered that year when Chu Lifang "fainted" after crying suddenly.
No one could wake her up, and in the end it was grandma who used a simple method to make Chu Lifang cry again.
Later, my mother became scared. She was very afraid of Chu Lifang crying, so whenever Chu Lifang cried, it was Chu Lihua who was beaten. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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