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Chapter 946: Comprehension

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    ?

    After Wu Ming learned about it, he volunteered to be Chu Lihua's teacher as well.

    Not to mention, Wu Ming is talented in both painting and writing, and Chu Lihua gradually began to understand him better.

    ?The deeper I get to know, the more I feel that the reason why he is weird may be the reason of the so-called artist.

    Seeing Chu Lihua and Wu Ming getting closer, Meng Xianxiang was entrusted by others, but also from the heart, he urged Lanzhi to take Chu Lihua to communicate with the two sisters more.

    The reason is that it will help Chu Lihua have a deeper understanding of what family affection is.

    Chu Lihua is also a gossip. When she was chatting with the two sisters, she still curiously asked why the two did not turn against each other.

    ¡ª¡ª"We are the blood relatives of the same mother, why should we give up such a precious relationship for a man."¡ª¡ª

    "Can¡­¡­"

    Chu Lihua really wanted to know why the two sisters fell in love with the same man because they had such a good relationship.

    The elder sister of the two sisters obviously understood Chu Lihua's hesitation,

    Solved the puzzle with a smile.

    ¡ª¡ª"Although Chuxi and I fell in love with the same person, we fell in different ways.

    Chu Xi and that person met in a virtual online game.

    And I am his classmate.

    Sometimes this world is really wonderful!

    By the way, it's really nice here, if our child doesn't want to leave after birth, is it okay?  "

    Chu Lihua laughed loudly, "As long as you are willing. Our big family welcomes you."

    What Chu Lihua wants to say most is that it is best for children to stay with their mothers.

    This can't be said, for fear of causing something that can't be let go, and it will mess up the whole incident in the end.

    Chu Lihua really realized the reason for her constant pain from the two sisters.

    Because of the blood relationship and the relationship with the same mother, the current "strange" way of getting along is subconsciously unacceptable.

    It's not anyone's fault, her and yourself, right?

    The problem is back to my childhood.

    Chu Lihua recalled the three coping methods given by the psychologist to first use the person in front of her to change her mood, and then heal her past self.

    The first is to correctly understand the person in front of you. Every love partner is a lesson, try to learn from each other instead of transforming each other;

    The second is to pay attention to the psychological needs of the other party and listen carefully to the voice of the other party;

    The third is to focus on yourself, learn to introspect, and correct your inner wounds.

    The first is how to correctly recognize the person in front of you.  Or use Qing Yunfei to analyze it.

    Love is a kind of reincarnation. Although the object we choose is not the perfect object in fantasy, he is a reproduction of our childhood relationship. He must have certain qualities that we want to have.

    For example, a hesitant person is likely to like a decisive person. During the love period, he will appreciate the other party's courage to make choices, but during the running-in period, he will only think that the other party is reckless and arbitrary.

    This is actually a mistake of "measuring other people's lives with one's own ruler". Natural values ??and standards of people with different personalities cannot be the same.

    The value standard is just a choice, and no one's standard is higher than anyone else's.  People who like to read are no more advanced than those who like to watch TV shows, it's just that everyone's choice is different.

    ha!  I always feel that Qing Yunfei, who likes to watch TV dramas, is tacky and feminine.

    By the way, that's the word.

    Chu Lihua always felt that sometimes, Qing Yunfei didn't look like a man at all, but looked more like a woman than herself.

    For some trivial matters, he would hold grudges to the point that even a woman like Chu Lihua would feel bored.

    However, in fact, everyone desires perfection in their hearts, so when choosing a lover, it is easier to choose someone who is different from themselves. This is what we often call complementary personalities.

    But in the process of real communication, we will still be accustomed to using our own logic in dealing with people and things; and we will naturally resist the logic that is different from our own, so when we get along with different people, it is easy to have unhappiness or even disputes  .

    For outsiders, we can usually restrain ourselves with politeness, but we are particularly impatient with lovers.

    In fact, at this time, we can't blindly believe in our own consistent logic, at least try to understand and learn from the other party's approach.

    Those who are indecisive should learn from those who act resolutely. Those who like to read should understand watching TV.Drama also has its own fun.

    Only in this way can we grow in samsara instead of repeating the same mistakes again and again.

    On this point, Chu Lihua once thought, maybe learn Qing Yunfei's so-called "humor" first, but what about the end?

    Things gradually increased, and this idea was pitifully forgotten before it was conceived and grown up.

    well!

    Such a busy life seems to be very fulfilling.

    However, something was still missing.

    I seldom think of the need to listen to the other person's voice.  Although I also tried to think about the problem from the standpoint of the other party.

    But, that's only a small part of the time.

    Since both parties in an intimate relationship are trying to change each other after disillusionment, the two will inevitably begin to compete for power and try to make each other what they want.

    In the past, Chu Lihua always believed that this process caused so many quarrels and conflicts, which would definitely make the intimate relationship worse.

    However, psychologist Wu Zhihong believes that this process is actually a process of mutual understanding, and proper quarrels have many positive meanings.

    In a healthy intimate relationship, neither party in the contest will change the other, but only get to know the real each other through this process.

    After passing this level, we will remember not to use our own value standard to ask the other party, and learn more about the inner feelings expressed by the other party to you, instead of making self-assessment or making suggestions;

    Because any comments and suggestions block the channel of conveying feelings.

    Chu Lihua recalled the scene when she complained to Qing Yunfei that the weather was too hot. If Qing Yunfei didn¡¯t comment on the bad effect of buying cheap air conditioners as soon as he came up, but could feel his hard work and care, then the communication effect would definitely become better.  very different.

    Can let Qing Yunfei study psychology, he always disdains this psychology.

    I always feel that it is just a way to fool people to make profits.

    That¡­¡­

    Psychologist Dr. Xu Haoyuan once said that times have changed, but the way we love has not changed.

    In the past, materials were scarce, so the main content of love was to ensure the material needs of the other party, but now, material needs are no longer so urgent, and the importance of psychological needs has become increasingly prominent.

    Therefore, we should evolve the way we love to take into account the psychological needs of our spouse or other loved ones.

    Psychological needs?

    It seems that Chu Lihua only cared about her own psychological needs, but did not seriously think about Qing Yunfei's psychological needs.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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