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Chapter 931 How to Save Yourself

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    ?

    be your own hero?  !

    Issue a challenge like the hardest to change?

    These two sentences echoed in the entire hall, and echoed in everyone's heart.

    Including Chu Lihua herself.

    Chu Lihua didn't know how much other people felt and was shocked by this, but when she said in public what she had kept in her heart but hadn't fully done, she felt her face was burning.

    How much have you really accomplished?

    However, after this time, Chu Lihua believed that the changes she would definitely bring to herself would be much greater than reading alone.

    ¡ª¡ª"Chuchu, thank you! I think, I found the reason why I didn't work. Maybe it's because the time hasn't come yet, I was too anxious. This aroused my doubts, so

    Can you say more?  "

    How could Chu Lihua be unwilling, "With close-up close-ups, life is a tragedy; but with long-range close-ups, life is a comedy."

    Everyone quieted down, waiting for Chu Lihua's next words.  Liu Xingting in the corner quietly looked at this group of people who were treated differently.

    Are they unlucky?  Perhaps, they are lucky.

    People who have not experienced darkness will not cherish light at all.

    It is too difficult to feel happy.

    yes.  Childhood really doesn't affect a person as much as psychologists boast.

    A person's ultimate destiny is in his own hands, and all choices are his own choices.

    Chu Lihua thought of the psychology she had learned, and she suddenly had a new idea, "We may be frustrated because of the inherent thinking patterns that have been formed, but can we regenerate ourselves and regard ourselves as a person who needs education?  child.

    Then act as your own parents on a rational level, which is equivalent to 'inner child' and 'inner parent'.

    Let¡¯s look at such a scene first. Because Xiao Ming failed a math test, he came home from school and said in frustration, 'I will never learn math well. I fail every time. I am the stupidest person in our class!  '

    As a parent, what would you do?

    Some parents may comfort their children, 'Mom and Dad have few math skills, it seems that you are not suitable for learning mathematics.  '.

    Some parents may complain to their children, 'Why are you so stupid, the mud can't support the wall!  '

    This is like when we encounter setbacks and difficulties in what we are doing, the pessimistic thoughts will explain to ourselves in this way?

    Obviously, these explanations from parents are also negative, and it is easy to aggravate the pessimism of the child, make the child even more desperate, and simply give up efforts.

    So if our "inner child" is so pessimistic, what should the "inner parents" do to resolve the pessimistic thoughts of the "inner child" and encourage the "inner child" to continue to work hard?

    It may be a bit of a mouthful to say this, so let's use parents and children as an example.

    If you have been living in pessimism, you will gradually evolve into learned helplessness. To put it simply, you have acquired a sense of helplessness that will not succeed no matter what you do through the experience of failure.

    In the scenario we just assumed, the behavior of the parents is likely to cause the child's learned helplessness.  If we always encounter failure in one thing, we may give up our efforts on this matter.

    Even because of this, we will have doubts about ourselves, and feel that we are 'not good at this, nor good at that'. In fact, it is not that we are really bad, but that we have fallen into a mental state of learned helplessness.

    What consequences will this kind of psychology bring?  It will make us form a pessimistic explanation style, but whenever something bad happens, we will use this negative thinking to analyze the cause of the matter, thinking that it is all our own fault; and then imagine the consequences as permanent adverse effects,  It will affect your life in all aspects.

    A pessimistic explanation style is equivalent to a shackle that you put on yourself, and it will make people give up the courage and confidence to continue trying.

    Moreover, this explanatory style develops in childhood and, if left alone, lasts a lifetime.

    This pessimistic way of thinking will have a great impact on children's physical and mental health, including the possibility of developing depression later.

    Also, pessimistic children will not love life so much, because it is difficult for them to build a sense of accomplishment and have no confidence to face challenges.  This must be what parents don't want to see.

    However, we cannot be pessimistic, nor are we just blindly optimistic.  The first common mistake is to attach self-confidence directly to children.

    Tell yourself directly?Be assertive, this kind of controlling behavior doesn't work at all.

    Let's first give an example to explain what is "controlling behavior". Controlling behavior is commonly known as control.  For example, when we were children, learning to talk and walk, learning to put on our own clothes and shoes, etc., these are skills learned through hard work, so as to gain control over various things.

    It can be said that children are learning to control their behavior from birth.  Controlling behavior is the key to developing optimism in preschoolers.  The establishment of this kind of controlling behavior can help them establish the habit of not shrinking in the face of difficulties.

    By the time children are five or six years old, they have already begun to think about causality. They have developed a set of theories about why failures and successes; at the same time, they have also developed a set of theories about how to turn failures into successes.  basis for optimism.

    Parents play a very important role in this process.

    Attention, I am going to start calling out our 'inner parents' to educate our 'inner children'.

    Let's look at an example.  Tom is a six-year-old boy, but he has developed a set of pessimistic theories.  Because he felt that he was inferior to his sister in everything he did.

    One day Tom was playing with building blocks with his sister, who was building a rocket.  Tom is imitating his sister, and he does what her sister does, but Tom can't build a rocket, because his sister moves too fast, and Tom can't keep up with her.

    Tom grew restless.  He gets annoyed every time he knocks down the blocks and restarts the game.

    Later he threw the blocks at his sister.  When Tom's father saw it, he came to comfort him, praising Tom for doing a good job and being the best rocket maker.

    But Tom was still very depressed, saying that his sister was better than him in everything, that the rocket wings he made kept falling off, that he hated building blocks, and that he felt he couldn't do anything well.

    Tom's father really didn't want to see his son sad, so he went into battle and helped Tom make a beautiful rocket.

    Well, the example is over. Do you think there is any problem with Tom's father's approach?

    His approach is much better than that of the parents in the example of Xiao Ming we just mentioned; but he still made a mistake, that is, he tried to attach self-esteem directly to the child.  This approach is wrong, in fact, it will be counterproductive.  "(Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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