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Chapter 900

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    ?

    Chu Lihua stopped, and the air suddenly became quiet.

    After a long time, Liu Xingting took Chu Lihua's hand, "Is this method really useful? But my parents are ignoring me, so I can't do it! I don't know how to follow from this method."  They rescued themselves.

    Can you understand that kind of complete indifference?  "

    Chu Lihua nodded, "I also understand a little bit. Because, compared with my sister, I am the one who is ignored.

    I have been looking for opportunities to try another feasible way-interview.  There will be a question in the interview, which is where to choose the location.

    If you have a psychiatrist, preferably in the psychiatrist's office.  Or let your parents come to your house to meet, so that you will be more confident.

    Parents don't come to both places?  Then choose a neutral location, such as a private room in a hotel.  In short, try not to go to your parents' house, that environment may easily detonate your hidden emotions.

    Before the interview, you still need to do some rehearsals, rehearse your prepared lines aloud until you know them by heart, and then face your parents.

    When it comes time for a real confrontation, few parents will wake up.  In most cases, they will be the same as in the past, denying everything, throwing a tantrum, and hitting back.

    Not important.  The criterion for the success of the confrontation is not whether the parents give a positive response.  In fact, as long as you take that step and stand your ground in the face of your parent's quibbles, it's a successful confrontation.

    It represents that you have overcome your inner fear, and you are no longer that weak and helpless child.  Therefore, the process of confrontation itself is a deep healing.

    This approach has seen thousands of lives changed forever.  Proof that it actually works.

    Your parents who ignore you, you can also tell them that you don't need them anymore.  You have grown up, and you are a very successful person, even more successful than them.

    If, you also complain about it because of their neglect.  I think, now you are no longer a child who needs to depend on adults to live.

    However, these are just theoretical things.  Many things are not experienced by oneself, and it is impossible to fully empathize with them.  "

    Liu Xingting was silent for a while, and then said, "Chu Lihua, where did you learn these remarks?"

    Chu Lihua chuckled, "For self-salvation, I signed up for some courses. At the same time, there are also some of my own insights."

    ——"Self-study? Can this be self-study? Then you tell me, what experience do you have, let me learn from it."

    Chu Lihua could clearly hear the disbelief in Liu Xingting's tone.

    However, she still plans to talk about it, because when she tells others, it is the best time for herself to absorb it.  As for what Liu Xingting thinks, at present, it is not that important.

    So, she sorted out her thoughts and said again, "There are three types of parents: the first type of parents, no matter what you do, they criticize you; the second type of parents, no matter what you do, they ignore you; the third type  The kind of parent who encourages you no matter what you do. Of course, the best kind of parent is the last one.

    Unfortunately, what I encountered was the first one.  "

    This time, Chu Lihua's conciseness made Liu Xingting more responsive, "The second one."

    ——"Character determines destiny, this is a motto we are familiar with.

    The longer I study psychology, the more I believe this statement.

    So, how does character determine a person's destiny?

    Personality is a popular term, which is replaced by a professional term in psychology, that is, personality.  The so-called personality, as the object relations theory of the post-psychoanalytic school believes, is a person's internal object relations.  Expressed visually, that is, the relationship between a person's 'inner child' and 'inner parent'.

    In other words, character is a relationship.

    This can be dizzying.

    Personality, such as self-confidence, low self-esteem, stubbornness, etc., how can it be a relationship?

    Let's talk about self-confidence first.  Self-confidence, popular understanding, is to believe in yourself.

    However, logically speaking, there is no such thing as a believing in a, there is only a believing in b or b believing in a.

    So, what is self-confidence?  Simply put, it's a part of yourself trusting another part of you.

    Applying the words of object relations theory, it is accurately expressed that one's "inner child" is confident in receiving the love of "inner parent".

    The so-called low self-esteem means that a person's "inner child" has no confidence in getting the love of the "inner parent".

    The so-called stubbornness is when one's 'inner child' says to the 'inner parents', 'Why!  '

    The relationship pattern between 'inner child' and 'inner parent' is formed in a person's childhood, mainly before the age of six.

    After this pattern is formed, we will continue to present this pattern in the real world in our later lives.

    Therefore, the inner object relationship pattern determines a person's life.  In short, character determines destiny.

    Therefore, the school of psychoanalysis has the color of determinism, and it is childhood determinism.

    Determinism sounds pessimistic, but it does not mean that your object relationship model cannot be changed. Of course it can be changed. The way to change is to know yourself.  "

    Liu Xingting was thoughtful, "That is to say, in fact, the essence of all this is the influence of our parents on us, which has caused the deviation between the inner child and the inner parents in our hearts? This is how we have our character.  ?”

    ——"Actually, it's not just about character, it also includes the way of looking at problems."

    Liu Xingting's eyes suddenly lit up, "So that means, it can be changed?"

    Chu Lihua smiled, "Of course, it's just that it's very difficult. After all, it's really not just a matter of words."

    ——"Chu Lihua, will you take me flying?"

    —— "Then I guess I have to lose weight, otherwise, I won't be able to fly myself!"

    ——"Then let the past pass, and neither of us will mention it again."

    ——"Then my child's stepfather?"

    ——"Haha, this one depends on fate. However, until I lose weight, I will always fulfill my promise and give them the same care as a father."

    ——"Liu Xingting, thank you! Sincerely. Not only because of Lanzhi, but also because of you!"

    ——"When I was in junior high school, if you had this awareness, you would probably be the brightest light in my life."

    ——"Why? Then what am I now? A flame? Then I'll burn you to death!"

    Having said that, Chu Lihua deliberately showed an expression of baring her teeth and claws.

    Liu Xingting secretly smiled, little girl, see you in many years.  hehe!  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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