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Chapter 825 Comparison and Reflection

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    ?

    What Chu Lihua thought in her heart was that besides being vigilant to myself, if Qing Yunfei saw it, he would understand her intentions, right?

    Haha, does this count as clearly telling Qing Yunfei what he thinks?

    Anyway, my intention is to let you know.  I am a girl!  I have to be subtle, so, you see?

    Chu Lihua made fun of herself first.

    After the music is over, go back to the book.

    "Men try their best to hide their weak side, which determines that when they argue, they are more inclined to choose silence.

    ?Because most men think that the process of talking incessantly is a kind of torture to both the speaker and the listener.  "

    So, in the future, think more about it when you quarrel. He didn't say that he didn't acquiesce, but just wanted to avoid greater conflicts.

    At the same time, I should also tell Qing Yunfei that no matter what I do, I hope to get your attention, and I am very eager to solve the problem through active communication.

    "Recognizing and respecting the differences between men and women is the basis for properly handling the marriage relationship.

    No matter how you are combined in marriage, two people are always different individuals, like two pieces of plasticine of different colors, one dark green and one light green, when the two pieces of plasticine are kneaded together.

    At first glance, it looks like a green mass, but when you look closely, you will find that the two colors of dark green and light green are clearly distinguishable and have distinct layers.

    The same is true for marriage. When two people are combined, they appear to be a whole on the surface, but in fact everyone retains their own distinctive characteristics.

    And what you have to do is to respect each other and understand differences.  Guide the other party to express their emotions in a timely manner on the basis of empathy.  "

    Chu Lihua felt that the metaphor in the book was very vivid. In fact, it was indeed like this. Although the husband and wife are a community, upon closer inspection, everyone still has their own distinctive characteristics.

    Especially for a couple like myself and Qing Yunfei who have big differences between the north and the south.  We should understand and tolerate each other more.

    In fact, every quarrel or conflict cannot be judged by one person's mistakes.

    There are some words of the ancients, which are particularly philosophical-a slap can't make a sound.

    To put it another way, when there is friction and complaints, not only your expectations of the other party have failed, but the other party's expectations of you have also failed.

    Could it be that in the future, we should blindly cater to Qing Yunfei, no, that is not a normal and healthy relationship between husband and wife.

    There are many such cases on the Internet. Many people often choose to suppress their true inner needs and thoughts in order to play the role of a good wife or husband when they get along with their significant other.

    For example, Chu Lihua sometimes wants to have more private time for herself, or wants to try something with Qing Yunfei that she has never done before.

    But in order to prove that she is sensible, she chose to remain silent in the end and did not exchange views with Qing Yunfei, because she was afraid that her thoughts would embarrass Qing Yunfei.

    This inability to exchange views with your partner will only complicate the issues between you.

    Although I didn't say it out at the time, I compromised, and the relationship seemed to be peaceful, but in fact, the internal turmoil had begun to accumulate.

    With this kind of mentality, you see, I gave up something for you before, I have done so much for you, why do you still let people down in such small things?

    Once such a closed loop is formed, once such a closed loop is formed, the small contradictions will be magnified infinitely.

    Just like my colleague and friend Yu Xiaqiu and her husband when I was in Beijing before.  After Yu Xiaqiu had an affair, she also plausibly said that when she and Lin Lei were together, she seemed to have regained her vitality.

    She felt that her husband had changed from a dazzling and charming male classmate to a machine who only cared about working overtime after getting married.

    But they have been married for seven or eight years, so long, Yu Xiaqiu has never talked to her husband about her feelings.

    Until one day, when her husband gave up the opportunity to study abroad for his family, Yu Xiaqiu suddenly broke out and vented all the resentment that had been accumulated for a long time.

    She said to Chu Lihua, "I hate this boring life, can't he make some bold changes?"

    Since then, what Yu Xiaqiu said about her husband is that everything is not good.  Even though every time Chu Lihua went to her house, she felt that her husband was really good.

    When Chu Lihua said this to Yu Xiaqiu, she said, just because it is not your husband.

    In fact, if you blindly cater to each other, you will inevitably have a partner like Yu Xiaqiu.

    In Yu Xiaqiu's family, she didn't face up to her own needs in her married life. She has endured her husband's mediocrity for seven or eight years. In fact, she also wanted to try to protect him and gave up her wishes for him.  Because this kind of "selfless giving" ruined his marriage.

    If she had told her husband what she thought in the first place, surely such a thing would not have happened.

    It's just that, now, the victim is actually only her husband, and she herself has always been very happy.  Chu Lihua also often saw the interaction between Yu Xiaqiu and Lin Lei from Moments.

    So, never pretend to be a competent husband or wife.  In a healthy marriage, you must treat your own needs rationally and understand yourself; actively communicate with each other, and strive to find common hobbies between husband and wife.

    If you always suppress your own needs in a relationship, cater to them for the sake of catering.  The final result is likely to be that too much resentment has accumulated in my heart, and then it will fall apart.

    From this point of view, by blatantly posting your ideas like this, you can be considered as announcing your ideas.

    Even if Qing Yunfei didn't notice, he can discuss this with Qing Yunfei himself.  Instead of saying out of the blue, "I want to talk to you."

    Then, Qing Yunfei's reaction must be again - "Aren't you free all day long! What's there to talk about. You might as well mop the floor for me."

    Thinking of Qing Yunfei's tone, Chu Lihua couldn't help laughing "àÛàÍ~".

    yes!  If you look at it from another angle, a husband who is willing to share the housework together, and he is responsible for most of it.

    In the eyes of others, such a husband, in Qing Yunfei's words, is, "What more bike do you want!"

    Chu Lihua thought.  Next time, if Qing Yunfei said so, I can reply one, I want a small train, can I?

    Probably, Qing Yunfei should say again, "You want too much!"

    Ha ha!

    Thinking about it this way, I really feel that life is quite interesting.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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