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Chapter 759 Four Mistakes in Love

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    That is to say, compared with that time now, industrialization is more intelligent, and his theory should be applicable.

    He listed some such fake loves in the book.  For example, there is a kind of false love that is the idea of ??companionship.

    That is to say, when a couple lives together, they just don¡¯t want to be alone, so a model couple should treat each other with respect and tolerance without any friction or quarrel.

    Regarding this, Chu Lihua didn't understand: "Isn't this good?"

    Indeed, Fromm believes that this kind of marriage under the idea of ??companionship is actually only a superficial harmony, and the husband and wife will never open up to each other or understand each other.

    Its essence reflects the requirement of production coordination in capitalist society.  Just as employees in a company need to cooperate with each other, reduce friction and achieve efficiency, so have the requirements among family members.

    Such a thought-led marriage must be stale and lifeless, and it is the grave of love.

    Another popular formula for love is that love comes from sex ~ life satisfaction.  The misfortune of marriage between husband and wife may be due to the unsatisfactory sex and life.

    Even today, this kind of thinking is still very marketable. You see, some advertisements for sex and health care products are promoting, "Satisfying the other party can make the marriage more harmonious"?

    What's wrong with this?  Isn¡¯t sexuality also a capacity for love?  But the ability to love that Fromm said is a comprehensive personality development, not just a physical ability.

    As for the idea that you can make a marriage happy with the help of health supplements or drugs, it is actually completely consistent with the popular fantasy in industrial society, that is, with the right tools and skills, all problems can be solved.

    There is also a kind of false love, which is idolized love.  It is to "deify" the person you love and regard him as the source of all love, light and blessings.

    Nowadays, many people call a bunch of "goddesses" and "goddesses" at every turn, which is actually the case.

    Fromm believes that this is actually a kind of idol worship. In this process, the lover projects his own power onto the object of his love. As a result, the other party becomes a goddess, but he himself loses the power of love.

    This kind of false love made him lose himself instead of finding himself.  Moreover, in reality, no one can really meet his requirements for idols, so he has to keep changing objects, no matter whether the objects are real or virtual.

    The last false love mentioned by Fromm is sentimental love.

    This kind of love only exists in imagination, in romance novels and movies, but it does not exist in reality.

    Nowadays, many people watch Korean dramas, Japanese dramas and domestic dramas, and are completely moved by all kinds of joys and sorrows, romances, and vows of love, but they are completely indifferent to their own lives, that's it.

    Fromm pointed out that this approach is to satisfy the yearning for true love by consuming substitutes for love, but in fact this is not true love.

    So in this era we live in, does true love still exist?

    Fromm also gave an answer, true love is still there, but it is very scarce.  In a society where a person is alienated into a thing and lacks real attention and understanding of the development of human nature, true love is bound to be a scarce commodity, replaced by various false loves.

    Chu Lihua believes that although Fromm is committed to criticizing Western industrial society, the same is true for contemporary society.

    Because the society we live in is increasingly becoming a society where everything is measured by commodity transactions and money value.

    Facing this situation, we can't help but feel a little discouraged. Is true love doomed to be difficult to find?  In fact, there is no need to be so pessimistic, because no matter what the society looks like, people's desire to unite with each other will not change, so the potential for love will always exist.

    What we have to do is to practice love from ourselves.

    Art of Love, that may be disappointing.  Because in Fromm's view, love is a personal experience that can only be explored by oneself.

    However, since love can be regarded as an art, we can still grasp some basic principles.  Only in this way can one achieve good results in this art.

    First of all, as an art, love, like painting and sculpture, needs some common basic conditions.

    From the book, Chu Lihua summed up four points:

    One is discipline, which means that you have requirements for yourself, not based on temporary interest, and treat love as a game. If you do this, your love will not mature.

    The second is to concentrate, that is to say, to concentrate and concentrate, not to? Half-hearted, half-hearted, see different things and think differently.

    The third is patience, which is easy to understand. It may take months or even years for an artist to carve a statue. What if he can¡¯t persevere?

    The last point is of great interest.  You can't be a true master if you don't have passion for an art.

    So, like all other arts, to master the art of love, you must have discipline, concentration, patience and interest in four conditions.

    However, love is not painting or sculpture after all, it has its own uniqueness, and some special conditions are required to master the art of love.

    Among them, the most important condition is to overcome narcissism.

    The so-called narcissism does not mean self-love, but only pays attention to one's own inner activities and is self-centered.

    Chu Lihua sighed in her heart. Although she didn't want to admit it, she seemed to really only pay attention to her inner activities.

    Chu Lihua learned that such a person cannot look at the world objectively, nor can he treat others equally.

    There is an example in the book.  A woman calls her doctor and wants to see her that afternoon.  The doctor told her that the clinic is very busy today and there is no time.

    As a result, the woman said, "But doctor, I live only five minutes away from your clinic."

    Where is the problem?  That is, she didn't realize that she was close to the clinic, and it had nothing to do with whether the doctor was busy or not. Instead, she thought that she had time, so the doctor should also make time.

    In life, in fact, we often encounter people with this kind of narcissistic tendency, but the degree is different.

    Fromm believes that narcissistic tendencies do great harm to love.  Because since only "I" is the only reality, other people are naturally just objects I use to satisfy myself, why should I care and respect them?

    So, how can we overcome narcissism?  Chu Lihua continued to search for the answer.

    According to the book, this requires the development of your reason and objectivity, and at the same time, treat love as a kind of faith.

    The belief that Fromm said is not a religious belief, but a belief based on one's own life.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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