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Chapter 578 No matter how many reasons you hear, it's useless

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    ?

    Perhaps Chu Lihua was distracted for too long, and Liao Huijiao sent a greeting to bring Chu Lihua back to her thoughts.

    ——"Lihua, if you can't sort it out, you can send it to me tomorrow. There is no rush. The child is already asleep, and it's getting late."

    ——" Sister Jiao, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about my childhood, and I didn't expect to be distracted. People in Beidiao don't go to bed so early.

    The correct way to deal with this kind of clingy child is that when the little girl calls her mother repeatedly, the mother can only respond, but don't compromise.

    When a daughter calls her mother for the first time, she can answer: "Okay, Mom heard it, but I'm busy, so you can play for a while!"

    When the daughter calls her mother again, she does not have to respond.  The little girl may scream, and the mother needs to keep her emotions calm and do what she needs to do, ignoring her.

    When the daughter couldn't help it and went to the mother in the kitchen to beg, the mother still didn't compromise, but she could kindly set a walking time with her: "In 20 minutes, mother will accompany you for a walk", so that the daughter can start to adapt "  waiting alone".

    When letting your child wait alone, you can suggest that she find some interesting things to play with herself.  For example, picking up leaves and throwing stones, as long as the child can continue to play by himself, the mother doesn't care about her.

    The purpose is to let children know that playing alone is also very interesting.  After 20 minutes, when the mother is done with work, she can take a walk with the child.  "

    That's right, my children at that time would have these thoughts there, and I was very relieved to be able to get a word of concern from their parents.  How dare you ask for so much!

    Sure enough, times have changed.  Chu Lihua sighed and continued to tidy up.

    ——"We need to give our children attention, but we also need to know the difference between proper attention and excessive attention.

    If we find that children keep us busy for them for no good reason, we can be sure that children need excessive attention from adults.

    At this time, we have to tell ourselves that our response should achieve such a purpose: that is to let the child understand that he is capable, and he does not need help from others unless it is a last resort.

    A child who craves excessive attention is the most powerless type of insecure child.  And children who "contradict their parents" can be regarded as the type of "strength" directly to their parents when they are looking for a sense of belonging.  "

    But soon, Chu Lihua discovered that the way she chose to get attention when she was a child was not a typical performance of a "bad boy" - contradicting her parents.

    ——"The way to deal with this situation is that the adults should first withdraw from the conflict situation, and after the atmosphere calms down, express their understanding of the child clearly, then let the child enjoy appropriate rights, and discuss with him a solution that everyone can accept  Method.

    As an example.  A girl in the first grade of junior high school brought a dirty lunch box home every day after school. Her explanation was that she "forgot to wash it".  Mom was very angry. After reminding her several times, the quarrel between mother and daughter finally broke out.

    The daughter didn't say anything except yelling "I just don't like washing lunch boxes".  In order to avoid the escalation of the conflict, the mother turned and left.

    In the evening, my mother patiently asked her daughter why she didn't wash the lunch box.  The daughter told her mother that her lunch box was old and old, and that her lunch box was the most "rustic" among all the classmates, and she felt very humiliated.

    Before, I asked my mother for a new lunch box, but my mother didn't agree, so I didn't wash the lunch box.

    The behavior of girls is also seeking a sense of belonging, and this sense of belonging is not directed to the family, but to the school and classmates.

    If a child feels different from her classmates, or inferior to everyone else, her sense of belonging is undermined.

    The daughter contradicts and fights against her mother, but she is actually protecting her sense of belonging in the classmate group.  "

    Chu Lihua remembered that every time she transferred to another school, she was excluded by her classmates, and it was true.  However, at that time, apart from being beaten, he was scolded.

    Thinking of this, Chu Lihua's heart ached as if being pulled by something.

    Find the crux of the problem, and play two roles by yourself, and slowly open up the knot in your childhood, so as to heal yourself fundamentally.

    It turned out that when I was taking notes, I didn't put myself in it at all. I just wrote it down because I thought it would be useful in the future.

    If, at that time, I listened to the lecture, I put myself in to understand it.  Maybe, by now

    Apply what you have learned and apply what you have learned.

    Although it is said that a good memory is not as good as a bad pen, but if the record is shelved, without further review and understanding, then you will never be able to digest the essence of it, just?I just know it.

    No wonder there is such a saying widely circulated on the Internet - I have heard many truths, but, still, I can't live this life!

    What's the use of hearing more if you don't have a comprehensive understanding of the truth.

    It's like the contacts in the address book. Even if 5,000 people are filled, they just add them and lie in the address book, without further in-depth contacts.

    Just relying on the likes and interactions in the circle of friends, when you really need contacts.  They're just a name you've heard, that's all.  It's like, even if you add Jack Ma by chance, it may not be of any use.

    ——"When encountering a child's contradictory behavior, parents need to ask and observe, lower their posture, and observe whether the child has any unfulfilled wishes.

    If the child is unwilling to express his true thoughts, adults can ask in the form of general interrogative sentences.

    For example: Do you want something?  Are you trying to do something?  According to the specific situation, say specific things or things that can be guessed.

    If you feel that your child is dissatisfied with his parents' attitude, you can ask: Are you dissatisfied with your mother's last criticism?  Do you feel wronged?  Do you hate me for being harsh?  etc.

    When children are asked this way, they may respond by shaking their heads or nodding.  As long as the child answers with a nod, there will be a step to further communication.

    Following this line of thought, children are willing to open up to their parents and express their true thoughts.

    Regardless of whether the child's thoughts are right or not, this is the crux of the child's heart after all. Although we may not necessarily satisfy him, we must accept the reality that the child "has needs".

    Parents should make it clear that they understand the reasons why their children insist on their opinions, and tell him: "You have the right to insist on your own opinions."

    When a child sees that his appeal is understood and his rights are respected, he will no longer feel forced, and his state will change from hard to soft, and he will no longer feel the need to confront his parents.

    In the end, the parents give the child the right to come up with a plan that everyone can accept.

    When a child is respected by his parents, he will not be so tough when thinking about a solution, and he will definitely consider his parents' requirements, and the dispute will have a solution that everyone accepts.  "(Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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