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——"Look inward, I think I may know what to do. Thank you, girl!"
Chu Lihua felt that she really had a sense of enlightenment.
When returning to the rental house, Chu Lihua was still thinking about this question.
?Looking at the arguments of most native families in contemporary society, it is not easy to be numb and ignore, or to criticize too much, to achieve peaceful understanding, tolerance and acceptance, and to bravely assume the responsibility of growth on oneself.
Pain itself is not terrible. After it is understood and verbalized, it will make people feel accompanied by each other and release their souls.
Although the financial girl didn't try to persuade herself, she used her words and deeds to arouse Chu Lihua's deep thinking.
If we pretend not to see the original family wound in our hearts, we will never recover from this wound.
The previous wound will not disappear, it has been there without treatment~ It’s just that sometimes the wound will be good or bad depending on the treatment method.
Chu Lihua casually looked at her phone, trying to find something to look at.
Chu Lihua typed out two words - soul, but unexpectedly came out the title of such a movie - "The Soul Wants to Scream".
After seeing the title of the movie, Chu Lihua couldn't help being attracted, and started playing it.
After watching this movie, the heroine always believed in the "egg curse", but finally found out that it was actually a "curse set by herself", or a cage set by herself, confining herself.
The hurt she suffered when she was a child, after repeated self-biased explanations, was strengthened again and again, and finally the prophecy really came true, the so-called "self-fulfilling prophecy".
Chu Lihua remembers what a teacher said when she was in an experimental class in high school. Some people will fight against themselves, make things difficult for themselves, and cannot get out of their inner cage.
Chu Lihua remembered reading an article before, which probably meant that as long as you believe that your original family has a great influence on you, your original family will have a great influence on you. Isn't this idealism?
The influence exists objectively and cannot be transferred by will. Only by recognizing the influence can we change and face the injured heart.
The native family wounds that have not been faced up to and dealt with are like a Pandora's box. If the lid is accidentally opened, sorrow, shame, resentment, anger, and violence will pour out like a tide, drowning people in the painful world. In the torrent.
However, the boxes are all opened. Before being submerged by the torrent, besides catching the floatable objects in the torrent, shouldn’t the best way be to strengthen yourself?
So what exactly is "injury to the family of origin"?
Chu Lihua started to inquire again.
? Any parent's behavior towards their children that is not out of nurturing or love, or any parent's practice of making their children feel ashamed of their own nature, can actually be called "injury to the original family".
And we also need to be aware that the neglect of our parents has indeed hurt our childhood longing for love and nourishment, resulting in a series of problems such as our low self-esteem in adulthood, habitually pleasing others, and fear of intimacy.
In clinical psychological counseling, family-of-origin injuries can be simply classified into the following types: physical injuries, verbal injuries, sexual injuries, and emotional injuries.
"Physical injuries, verbal injuries, emotional injuries!"
Chu Lihua felt that she seemed to have all three of these.
She remembered that when she was a child, no matter what the reason was, when she was beaten by her parents, she would always feel pain in her body and heart. This is probably the case with physical injuries!
Thinking of this, Chu Lihua's body suddenly trembled.
Because she suddenly discovered a terrible pattern, that is, she treats colleagues, ex-boyfriends, and friends so carefully, for fear of offending others when they are "in a bad mood".
Whenever she notices a change in the other person's face, Chu Lihua's heart will jump wildly, her hands will tremble, her neck will sweat, and the familiar sense of fear and body pain will weigh her down like a mountain, making her unable to move.
In the cultural atmosphere of "doing nothing without fighting", it seems that it is not an exaggeration to use "educational means" to explain this kind of behavior of parents?
【I don't know when it (the physical injury) will come and how it will happen. I don't even know if I can bear it this time.
My mother used to hit my hand with a plastic ruler until it broke. I'm 40 years old and I still shudder at the sight of a plastic ruler.
Every time my father beat me, he told me that he beat me for"Okay. 所以长大以后我嫁给了一个发脾气时会揍我的男人，这难道不是男人一种表达爱的方式吗？ 】
【Corporal punishment and physical abuse are often motivated by parental anger at their children. However, the main purpose of parents corporal punishment of children is to help and educate children, telling children what to do to meet their parents' wishes.
Corporal punishment is measured and will not change due to the emotions of the parents. When committing physical abuse, the main purpose of parents is to vent their anger and use "hitting" to tell their children: I am stronger than you, and you must obey me unconditionally. So the angrier the parent, the worse the physical abuse.
Many parents beat and scold their children frequently on the grounds that "the jade is not cut, and the weapon is not perfect". However, these parents are actually physically abusing their children under the guise of corporal punishment.
However, some people, she did not learn any information that is beneficial to her own growth from her father's beating "education". "Pleasant character. 】
When seeing these cases, Chu Lihua felt a little lucky. Fortunately, I didn't form such a terrible idea.
Fortunately, my personality was not affected so extreme.
However, at the same time, Chu Lihua thought of another point, the current big data on the Internet is too scary. I am just a socket for random input, but the words that come out seem to know my own thoughts.
The network tool is said to be easy to use, and it is indeed easy to use, but Chu Lihua suddenly worried, whether one day, she will no longer have privacy?
After thinking about it, Chu Lihua realized that before she knew it, she was distracted again.
After pulling back her thoughts, Chu Lihua originally wanted to continue thinking about things related to herself and her original family. But this time, she couldn't calm down anyway.
For a long time, Chu Lihua hadn't experienced such a situation.
Feel free to turn on the music player and try to calm yourself down.
Unexpectedly, it still had no effect.
meditation? Or called meditation.
Maybe this method will work.
Just do it, Chu Lihua immediately sat down cross-legged on the bed.
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