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Chapter 439 How to Heal

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    ?

    Because, she never even got the love from her parents.  She always believes that there is no pure love in the world.

    Even the love of parents has a purpose.

    In our filial piety society, "There are no parents who do not love their children" will become a huge curse, allowing us to forgive those parents who abuse or even kill their children, and also prevent us from seeing how evil breeds in the first place  , so that our society as a whole cannot face the opposite fact.  At this point, we need to learn from European and American countries. They have a relatively mature social system to monitor the way parents treat their children and deprive seriously unqualified parents of custody rights.

    However, can it still attract attention if it has to be so extreme?  Psychological abuse is even more unacceptable!

    Father's love and mother's love are great, which are the most basic and important channels for the whole human being to continuously reproduce and pass on love.  However, this is far from saying that a person is automatically a good parent after having a child.

    True love is not a simple matter, we must be aware of this, and constantly review and reflect on the specific way we treat our children.  "There is no parent who does not love their children" is a lazy logic, and it is the best excuse for parents to excuse themselves, and Chu Lihua's mother often said this sentence to her.

    Doing many occupations requires advance training, and even relevant work experience or relevant certificates.

    However, being a parent is not!  They work completely without a license, and there are no regulations.

    Chu Lihua flipped through the post bars on the Internet, hoping to find some psychological comfort from this illusory online world.

    I love you, so you have to listen to me.

    This is the most typical love lie in our society. Parents use this lie to control their children, teachers use this lie to control students, men use this lie to control women, and women use this lie to control men.

    Chu Lihua trembled all over, didn't she?  My own mother, use this sentence to control myself.  However, why didn't I use this sentence to control several exes?

    This lie is a part of our collective unconscious that stems from our shared experience: When 1-3 year olds are toddlers and begin to explore the world, adults are tempted to do tasks for them.

    For example, when a child stumbles and takes a toy, the adults hand it to him; when the child is crawling around, the adults stop him because of worry; when the child is playing happily and shouting, the adults warn them to keep their voices down

    In short, for the sake of safety and "love" for children, adults seriously hinder children's efforts to explore the world.

    And, when the kids grow up, we do it even more.  For example, help the child solve all the problems, make all the decisions for the child, and force the child to accept it in the name of "love" when the child refuses to accept it.  Parents are doing it, teachers are doing it too.

    In doing so, you are killing your child's life.

    Because the meaning of life lies in choices, when a person continues to make choices for his own life, no matter whether these choices are right or wrong, his life will be rich and colorful because of independent choices, and his psychological energy will continue to increase.  A man has lived only if he has made a choice.  If this person's life is made by other people for him, then his life is meaningless. No matter how much others give him, no matter how "right" those choices are rationally, he will be weakened by it.

    Making choices for children in the name of love can be extremely deceptive.  The parents feel that they are doing the right thing, and the children don't know how to resist.  However, both parents and children will be distressed by this. Parents find that they have to worry about their children all the time, while children will often feel "bored" and "annoyed", and even feel suffocated, as if someone is pinching their own neck.  .

    This feeling of suffocation is not difficult to understand, because parents who make all the decisions for their children are mentally strangling their children's lives.

    Moreover, this kind of "pinching" seems to be very well-intentioned. Parents think so, children think so, and society thinks so.  Rationality can easily deceive people, but emotion can't. Children who are "pinched" badly often do some extreme behaviors to express their true emotions.

    Nowadays, parents make decisions about their children's life, and teachers make decisions about their children's studies. The children's resistance is also getting stronger. The common way is Internet addiction and rebellion, and the extreme way is suicide and homicide.

    If you really love your children, please respect their independent space, let them make their own choices, and please don't kill them mentally.

    Seeing this, Chu Lihua suddenly remembered that although she was not in such a dangerous situation, she still felt suffocated.All things ensuing suffocation.

    No, in fact, the feeling of suffocation has always existed, but I am unwilling to face it.

    So what exactly do you want?

    Not those external objects!

    What I want is to get rid of the current situation, the psychological situation.

    To put it bluntly, it is to redeem oneself by oneself.

    What cannot be chosen at birth, cannot be chosen by parents.

    But friendship and love are optional.

    Just, before choosing.

    Should I untie my knot first?

    Chu Lihua suddenly thought of Tang Tingting, what that girl experienced was the real heart-piercing pain.

    However, she came out.

    What kind of power is it?

    The power of true love.

    That He Yi really loves her and loves her dearly.

    Also, there are beautiful mountains and rivers and great rivers.

    Now, Chu Lihua has not met He Yi who Tang Tingting said and experienced.  So, can I try to use another method of hers to heal myself?

    When Chu Lihua thought of this, her blood boiled.

    If you want to go out for a trip, where should you go first?

    Xi'an?

    desert?

    Prairie?

    The Tianchi Lake in the Greater and Lesser Khingan Mountains?

    Chu Lihua suddenly had many places to go in her mind, but after all, she still couldn't pick out a place where she could go right away.

    Chu Lihua began to search on the Internet again¡ªthe woman was traveling alone.

    Unexpectedly, she saw such a passage first, and was very touched.

    Women, you must take time to go out for a trip every year, whether alone or with girlfriends, and jump out of your own small circle.

    Because of travel, it is the best preservative.

    It can make you understand that your world can be big, and it will make your state of mind become lofty, and you will never be inexplicably upset and melancholy for the boring little Jiujiu around you

    Many people think of tourism as a "luxury" thing, but in fact, tourism does not require you to spend a lot of money, nor does it require you to over-consume. You just need to walk into the local life and feel the charm of a city quietly.  .  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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