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2021.1.21

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    ?

    A poem in Baudelaire's "Flowers of Evil", translated by Xu Zhimo and Guo Hongan, I always feel that Xu Zhimo's translation is better, but it seems that I still don't know the reason for this difference. Now  Copy both translations down for later consideration.

    "Dead Corpse"¡ªXu Zhimo (Translation)

    I love, I remember the good weather that day

    You and I saw that thing by the roadside;

    Lying across the rocks and vines,

    A festering corpse.

    It opened its legs straight, as if presumptuous

    Leaking filthy odors and sticky smells,

    Its carbuncle's chest and belly are also uncovered,

    Don't be afraid.

    The fiery sun shines upon this decay,

    ? Vaporized, decocted, destroyed, like a test,

    Dissolving the original composition of the whole,

    Return to nature.

    Qing Tian looked down at the pervert with a smile,

    Seems to be caring for a sunny morning flower;

    The air was full of filth and embarrassment,

    Thanks for not getting drunk.

    A swarm of gnats is clamoring among the rotting flesh,

    ? Brewing fine maggots, surging like black water,

    They devour the remains of life,

    Ah, vengeful ferocity.

    The maggot rises and falls like a tidal wave,

    The insatiable scramble of flying insects;

    The turning image is the breath of life in the invisible,

    ? Huge amount of microbial growth.

    Ugly corpses, from this thriving world,

    As if there is wind and water like the joy of the wind,

    And like in the chords of the whirling windmill,

    Gu Yi shoots like torrential rain.

    Sooner or later, everything in front of me will inevitably fade away,

    Like a dream, only vague outlines remain,

    Sometimes on the bottom of the artist's wrist, unexpectedly,

    Conceals distant memories.

    Behind that rock hides a wild dog,

    Its fiery eyes are waiting for you and me,

    It also tore off a piece of rotten flesh, angrily,

    Wait for us to enjoy later.

    Even if I love, I can't avoid the general decay,

    Who can endure such a foul infection¡ª¡ª

    You, the star of my wish!  Shine my light!

    So pure and gentle!

    Yes, it is inevitable for you too, the beautiful queen,

    Wait until that last prayer is mantrad for you,

    This wonderful grace can't help but get into the mud grass,

    ? To die together with the dead.

    Therefore, I love, command the swaying worm,

    It comes to kiss your life, devour your skin,

    Say my heart will keep your shadow forever,

    Even your fleshy maggots!

    "Rotten Corpse" - Guo Hongan (Translation)

    darling, think about what we've seen

    What a mild summer morning;

    A hideous carrion at the outer bend of the path,

    Lying on a bed of gravel,

    Like a woman with sex, raise her legs high,

    Warmly steaming with poison,

    She lazily and shamelessly opens

    That stinky belly.

    The sun shines on this rotting mass,

    As if to bake it thoroughly,

    As if to return a hundredfold like nature

    It unites all things;

    The sky stares, the body is marvelous,

    Open up like a flower.

    The stench is so strong that you feel like

    Fainted and fainted on the grass.

    Flies buzz and swarm on the rotten belly,

    A large group of maggots in the dark

    crawled out like a viscous liquid,

    It flows along the living skin sac.

    They climb up and down like waves,

    The rampage is shining brightly;

    As if a breath of chaos was blowing in,

    The body is still multiplying.

    The world makes a strange music,

    Like flowing water, like wind,

    Like a winnower making measured movements,

    ???Bumping and agitation of the grain.

    The form has disappeared, leaving only a faint dream,

    A belated sketch,

    On the forgotten canvas, the painter's completion

    Come back from memory only.

    A bitch looked at us angrily,

    Restless, hiding behind a stone,

    ? Waiting for the moment, from the body of the corpse,

    Bite that piece of meat again¡ª¡ª

    and you will be like this rubbish in the future,

    Terrible as this stench,

    The stars of my eyes, the sun of my nature,

    You, my angel and passion!

    Yes, you will, O queen of grace,

    After receiving the last sacrament,

    When you step into the grass and the dawn under the flowers,

    Decaying among the bones.

    Then, O my beauty, tell the maggots,

    devours you like a kiss:

    My love is broken, but I remember,

    Its form and divine essence!

    The difference between the two that can be thought of so far is that Xu's vocabulary is richer and more powerful. A sentence is as complete as possible with one meaning. There are not too many words like conjunctions connecting sentences, which break up the strength of sentences.  Rhetoric is used a lot, and it is very emotional. Although Guo also has metaphors, he always feels less emotional.  Another point is that the beauty of rhythm in Xu's poems is very strong, which is very lacking in Guo's poems. It may be because Xu himself is a very talented poet, and there is also an element of secondary creation when translating.  Therefore, the inner poetic feeling of the poem is very strong, as for how it is caused, it is hard to see.  I originally bought "Flowers of Evil" because I was amazed by Xu Zhimo's translation of this poem. Now that I see Guo's translation, I don't really want to read it, nor does it mean that his translation is not good.  There is a little inner feeling in the poem, which is a very important thing for poetry, like the backbone, like the soul.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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