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Text Chapter 1591 Jealousy is the driving force

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    Jealousy is something everyone has. The only difference lies in the intensity and the nature of the event in which it occurs.  normal intensity of jealousy will provide positive motivation in our work, life and other aspects. We will work harder to surpass the person we are jealous of and get rid of this inferior status; however, excessive jealousy will  It will affect our normal behavior, make us more sensitive than before, have low self-esteem, open up our self-defense mechanism, and have greater mood swings.  Jealousy, in a sense, is a universal human emotion.  Modern society is a society that advocates success. However, in the fierce competition, if someone succeeds, someone must fail. The complex emotion consisting of shame, anger and resentment that arises after failure is jealousy.  Jealousy has a positive meaning, but more often it manifests as a negative meaning.  Jealousy often leads to negative behaviors such as slandering and slandering others.  Jealousy is often associated with narrow-mindedness and lack of cultivation.  A narrow-minded person will have a big mentality over some trivial things. Anything that others are better than him will become the cause of his jealousy.  People who lack self-cultivation will transform their decision-making psychology into negative jealous behavior, seriously damaging interpersonal relationships.  Jealousy can cause endocrine disorders, decreased digestive gland activity, gastrointestinal dysfunction, insomnia at night, elevated blood pressure, erratic temper, suspicious personality, depression, etc.  Over time, physical and mental diseases such as high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, neurasthenia, depression, gastric and duodenal ulcers will follow the jealous person.  It can be seen that jealousy not only tortures the spirit, but also damages the body.  Some people also compare jealousy to a "double-edged sword."  It hurts both oneself and others.  So.  How should jealous people get rid of this bad emotion?  First, understand yourself correctly.  You must accurately understand your own strengths and don't belittle yourself.  What's more important is to constantly analyze and reflect on your own behavior and psychological activities, and find out whether your evaluation of others and something is unfair and unobjective. When facing someone or something, what are the differences in your mood and behavior?  Whether the starting point is rational and so on.  Second, reduce vanity.  Vanity is a distorted form of self-esteem.  Self-esteem pursues real honor, while vanity pursues false honor.  For jealousy, wanting face and belittling others to elevate oneself is also a manifestation of vanity and an empty soul.  Simple vanity is easier to overcome than jealousy, but the two are closely connected from the formation mechanism.  Therefore, overcoming vanity will reduce jealousy.  Third, don¡¯t be self-centered.  People with jealousy tend to be self-centered and unwilling to be inferior to others.  Do not regard the achievements of others as contributions to the construction of social groups, but first of all as a threat to yourself.  Only by breaking out of the self-centered circle can we get rid of pain.  Fourth, learn to accept and understand others.  Confucius said: When three people walk together, there must be my teacher.  This is an exhortation to people to be modest and prudent, to be good at discovering the strengths of others, and to learn from others, and in doing so, they must first accept others.  Accepting others requires an objective and fair perspective and the principle of being kind to others.  Fifth, learn to compete fairly.  Competition should be a process that inspires people to strive for progress, rather than becoming a goal.  If competition is regarded as the goal, it will make people pay too much attention to the results.  It can easily lead to unscrupulous and unruly behavior.  You must understand that in any competition there are always winners and losers. Don¡¯t focus on winning or losing, but focus on the process of competition.  Discover the reasons why you lose or win, experience the fun of competition, and form a healthy psychology.  Jealousy occurs in interpersonal relationships.  Negative emotional experiences such as displeasure, self-esteem, resentment, and anger caused by finding that one is inferior to others in terms of talent, reputation, status, or circumstances.  Usually manifested as dissatisfaction with the strengths and achievements of others; unwillingness to see others stand out and stand out, always hoping that others will be the same as themselves or lag behind themselves.  It is a great comfort to see others lagging behind.  Jealous people often do not have the courage to compete, and often do not correctly face and resolve their disadvantaged position in competition.  Instead, they take illegal and immoral actions to vent their inner dissatisfaction.  Jealousy is a very harmful and unhealthy mental state. Once it occurs, a jealous person will lose his inner peace and balance. He can't stand it when he sees others are better than him. He will get angry and sad when others are praised, and he will even try to find ways to do so.  They deliberately destroy other people's success and slander other people's reputations, thereby having a great impact on their own and other people's lives and causing harmonious interpersonal interactions.  Some research shows that social jealousy has the following characteristics: First, it is latent.  Jealous people do not admit that they are jealous of something on the surface (or even in their hearts), and cover up this jealousy intentionally or unintentionally. ??Second, reciprocity.  Jealousy always occurs in people who are similar to one's own gender, age, culture, status, and position, but their situation changes.  College students generally do not feel jealous of their teachers, but often feel jealous of their classmates.  Third, behavioral.  In social situations, feelings of jealousy often lead to jealous behavior.  Such behaviors, such as satire, sarcasm, provocation, slander, slander, etc., are generally destructive to varying degrees, and their destructiveness not only directly harms the envied person, but also harms the envied person himself.  Fourth, variability.  When the advantage of the envied person turns into a disadvantage, especially when he falls behind the envied person, the original feeling of jealousy may mutate and transform into sympathy, pity, schadenfreude, etc.  Jealousy has a significant impact on a person's sanity. It interferes with a person's normal judgment and thinking, distorts a person's personality, and makes others unwilling to interact with him. Therefore, jealousy should be consciously adjusted.  Jealousy often arises from two misunderstandings: one is that others have achieved results, which means that one has no achievements, and others have succeeded, which means one has failed.  The second is to believe that the success of others is a threat to oneself and an infringement of one's own interests.  It can be seen that the adjustment to jealousy is first of all.  Correct the above incorrect ideas.  You know, comparison with those around you is an inevitable result of interpersonal communication.  It¡¯s the human urge to succeed, to outdo others.  We should bravely challenge each other, prove our abilities with greater achievements, and establish harmonious friendship in legitimate competition.  ? Secondly, we must strengthen our moral and legal concepts, restrain and defeat our own jealousy, and do not allow it to develop and cause destructive behavior.  Once again, be proactive and turn your negative jealousy into a force for progress.  Actively engage in competition and competition, and surpass the other party through positive and progressive methods to achieve psychological balance.  ??Also, change the angle of comparison.  Jealousy of others is often caused by one being too concerned about the other person's advantages in certain aspects. If one changes the perspective of comparison and compares one's own strengths with the other person's, or compares oneself with someone who is worse, then it becomes unbalanced.  The mind will gain a new balance.  Since jealousy is a morbid psychology that harms others and oneself, and seriously affects one's physical and mental health, how to overcome it?  1. Recognize the dangers of jealousy as mentioned above.  The harm of jealousy is that it hurts others, and it also hurts and hinders oneself.  People who are envied by others are naturally painful. On the one hand, people who are jealous of others affect their physical and mental health. On the other hand, they are addicted to jealousy of others all day long.  If you don't have enough energy to think about how to improve yourself, you will continue to delay your future and do double harm.  Recognizing these is the first step to get rid of the misunderstanding of jealousy.  2. Overcome selfishness Jealousy is a concrete manifestation of the excessive expansion of the "I" position in the personal psychological structure.  Always afraid that others are better than themselves.  Not good for yourself.  Therefore, jealousy must be eradicated.  First, eradicate the "nutrition base" of this mentality - selfishness.  Only by getting rid of selfish thoughts and broadening your mind can you view others correctly.  Accepting yourself is what Ji often says: "The world is wide with selflessness in your heart."  3. Correct understanding: Evaluate others objectively and fairly, and also evaluate yourself objectively and fairly.  The success of others does not mean your own failure.  "It's important for people to know themselves."  Strong enterprising spirit is a huge driving force for people's success, but there is only one champion. A ruler is shorter than an inch is longer. A person cannot be ahead of others in everything. If you are strong and competitive, you will definitely be able to surpass others.  As long as a person objectively understands his own strengths and weaknesses, realistically measures his talents, and finds an appropriate position for himself, he can avoid the occurrence of jealousy.  4. Comparing one's feelings to one's own is a common saying that is often said by ordinary people. In psychology, it is called "emotional transference".  When the fire of jealousy is burning, you might as well put yourself in the other person's shoes and ask yourself, "What if I were the other person?" Using the psychological displacement method, you can allow yourself to experience the other person's emotions, which is helpful for understanding others and helping to lead to bad behavior.  The spread of jealousy is one of the most effective ways to avoid jealousy.  5. Improve yourself The cause of jealousy is that you can¡¯t stand others being better than yourself.  If you can concentrate on continuous learning and exploration to continuously improve your knowledge, skills, and physical and mental quality, you can also reduce the incentives for jealousy.  Moreover, the rich and colorful after-school life slowly fills up one's leisure time, which naturally reduces the chances of "making trouble over nothing". This is one of the most fundamental ways to overcome jealousy.  6. Improve personality factors Generally, people with strong jealousy are narrow-minded, suspicious, inferior, introverted, psychologically unbalanced, and have poor personality and psychological quality.  Work hard to completeDevelop your own personality factors, improve your psychological quality, and face life with a healthy attitude.  7. Establish a correct sense of competition. Fair, reasonable and basic competition is an upward driving force. Competitors can also learn from each other's strengths and make progress together.  As long as you do this, you can conquer your jealousy!  In history, there are many historical events caused by jealousy. Judging from the final results of these events, most of them ended in tragedy.  ??For example, Bai Qi and Fan Ju of Qin State.  In the late Warring States period, Qin general Wu Anjun Bai Qi fought in Changping and wiped out 400,000 Zhao troops, causing panic in the Zhao country.  Bai Qi took advantage of the victory and conquered seventeen cities in a row, approaching Handan, the capital of Zhao State. Zhao State was about to be defeated.  The situation in the State of Zhao was critical. Su Dai, a guest from Pingyuan, offered a plan to King Zhao and was willing to risk going to Qin to save his life. King Zhao discussed with the officials and decided to act according to the plan.  Su Dai went to Xianyang with generous gifts to meet Ying Hou Fan Ju, and said to Fan Ju: Wu'an Hou was so majestic in the Changping battle, and now he is approaching Handan again.  He is the number one hero of Qin's unification of the world.  I'm worried about you! Your current status is above him, but I'm afraid you will have to be below him in the future.  This person is not easy to get along with! Su Dai is very eloquent.  Yinghou remained silent for a while.  Then I asked Su Dai what countermeasures he had.  Su Dai said: The state of Zhao is already very weak, so why not persuade the King of Qin to temporarily agree to peace. This will deprive Lord Wu'an of his military power, and your status will be as stable as Mount Tai.  Fan Ju immediately reported to the King of Qin and said: The Qin soldiers have been working hard for a long time and need to rest and recuperate. It is better to temporarily order the troops to withdraw and allow Zhao to cede territory and seek peace.  King Qin really agreed.  As a result, Zhao Guo dedicated six cities.  The two countries stopped fighting.  Bai Qi was unhappy when he was suddenly summoned as a class teacher. Later he found out that it was at the suggestion of Hou Fan Ju, but there was nothing he could do.  Two years later, the King of Qin sent troops to attack Zhao again. Bai Qi was ill, so he sent Wang Ling to lead an army of 100,000 troops.  At this time, Zhao State had appointed veteran general Lian Po, and the defense was very tight, and the Qin army could not attack for a long time.  The king of Qin was furious.  It was decided to let Bai Qi take command and go on the expedition.  Bai Qi said: The commander-in-chief of Zhao State, Lian Po, is proficient in strategy and is not comparable to Zhao Kuo of that time: Besides, the two countries have already negotiated peace.  If we attack now, we will break the trust of the princes.  Therefore, we sent troops this time.  It may be difficult to win.  The King of Qin sent Fan Ju to mobilize Bai Qi again, and the conflict between the two was deep.  Bai Qi pretended to be sick and refused.  The King of Qin said: Apart from Bai Qi, does the Qin State have no generals? So he sent Wang Ling to attack Handan.  When the fifth month was not over, King Qin ordered Bai Qi to take command. Bai Qi pretended to be seriously ill and refused to take command.  The King of Qin was so angry that he cut off Bai Qi's official position and drove him out of Xianyang.  At this time, Fan Ju said to the King of Qin: Bai Qi is resentful. If he is allowed to go to other countries, it will definitely be a disaster for Qin.  When the King of Qin heard this, he hurriedly sent someone to give Bai Qi a sword and ordered him to kill himself. It was a pity that Bai Qi, who had made great contributions to the state of Qin, ended up like this.  When Bai Qi besieged Handan, there was no fire in Qin. However, Su Dai ignited Fan Ju's jealousy and created civil and military chaos in Qin.  A person will have deep resentment, uneasiness and fear towards another person who performs better than himself in the same competitive field, and will try to retaliate against that person. This is human jealousy.  Fan Ju¡¯s jealousy towards Bai Qi in this article is the jealousy towards those who perform better than him in the same competitive field.  Bai Qi and Fan Ju were officials in the same dynasty and were a pair of competitors in the officialdom. Bai Qi's outstanding military exploits posed a great challenge to Fan Ju's status.  Everyone has jealousy, which determines that a person will always be self-centered, and often consciously or unconsciously think that he is the most outstanding person and the number one strong man.  Of course, this mentality determines that a person will work hard and find ways to surpass others, and does not want to fall behind anyone.  And when someone has used his own behavior to prove that he is indeed better than him in his field, this can very well hurt his strong jealousy.  One person¡¯s behavior brings hurt, pain and fear to another person. The revenge mentality that everyone has determines that he will definitely take actions to hurt and retaliate against the other person unless he restrains himself.  I believe everyone knows the idiom "to plead guilty on a thorn tree". In essence, "to plead guilty on a thorn bush" is actually caused by jealousy!  Heshibi was in the hands of the State of Zhao. After Qin learned about it, he expressed his willingness to exchange fifteen cities for it. Zhao sent Lin Xiangru as an envoy to the State of Qin. Lin Xiangru was just a "sheren" under the eunuch Miao Xian.  After Miao Xian recommended him to King Huiwen, he carried "He's Bi" and served as an envoy from Zhao to Qin.  Lin Xiangru used his great wisdom and courage to return to Zhao after defeat, and achieved a diplomatic victory against Qin.  Later, Qin attacked Zhao and occupied Shicheng.  King Zhao Huiwen attacked Zhao again in the 19th year of his reign??killed 20,000 Zhao soldiers.  At this time, the King of Qin wanted to meet with the King of Zhao in Mianchi to make peace, but the King of Zhao was very frightened and refused to go.  Lian Po and Lin Xiangru discussed that King Zhao should go to show the strength of Zhao and the courage of King Zhao.  King Zhao and Lin Xian went together, and Lian Po saw each other off. When he said goodbye to King Zhao, he said: "The king's trip will only last for thirty days. If you don't return within thirty days, please make the prince king to cut off Qin's threat to Zhao."  " Lian Po's general demeanor and careful arrangements strengthened King Zhao's deeds. At the same time, because Xiangru dealt with King Qin without being humble or overbearing at the Mianchi meeting, he counterattacked the various methods used by King Qin without showing any weakness. Not only did he benefit Zhao Guo  The reputation was restored, and the king of Qin and his ministers were frightened, and finally the king of Zhao returned safely.  After the meeting, King Zhao "regarded Xiangru as a great meritorious service and worshiped him as Shangqing", and his status was actually higher than that of Lianpo.  Lian Po was dissatisfied with Lin Xiangru's appointment as Shangqing. He believed that as a general of the Zhao State, he had the power to attack the city.  It is a great achievement to expand the territory, but Lin Xiangru, who is of low status, only uses words but is higher than me.  Intolerable.  He openly threatened to humiliate Lin Xiangru in public.  This is what he said: "I am a general of Zhao, and I have made great achievements in attacking cities and fighting in the field. However, Lin Xiangru only works with words and words, yet he is ranked above me, and he looks like a bitch. I am ashamed and cannot bear to be inferior." Declaration  Said: "When I see Xiangru, I will humiliate him."  After Lin Xiangru found out, he did not want to compete with Lian Po, but adopted a tolerant attitude.  In order to prevent Lian Po from being ranked below him when he comes to court, he will go to court early every time.  He always complained that he was not sick.  Sometimes, when Lin Xiangru was going out in a car, he saw Lian Po approaching from a distance, so he simply drove away to avoid it.  This aroused the dissatisfaction of Lin Xiangru and others. Lin Xiangru explained: "Compared with Lian Po between strong Qin and the wolf-like Qin King Xiangru, he dared to scold and humiliate his ministers in court. Will I still be afraid of Lian Po? Strong Qin.  The reason why I dare not send troops to Zhao is because Lian Po and I are both officials in the court. If we fight, it will be like two tigers hurting each other. The reason why I avoid him is just to avoid him.  The national crisis should be put above personal grievances." Lian Po heard this.  Deeply moved, he chose a day when Lin Xiangru's house had the most guests and carried wattle sticks on his back.  He came to Lin Xiangru's home naked and asked Lin Xiangru to punish him.  Lian Po was very dissatisfied with the fact that Lin Xiangru's status was higher than his own.  On the one hand, it was because he had a strong jealousy, and on the other hand, it was because Lin Xiangru was in the same competitive field as him and had a better performance than him.  Lin Xiangru¡¯s original status was inferior to Lian Po.  Later, his status surpassed that of Lian Po, which made Lian Po's exclusive jealousy unbearable, causing him to have anxiety reactions caused by being hurt by jealousy, such as anxiety, restlessness, pain and other emotions.  Lin Xiangru¡¯s excellence brought him hurt and pain, and his vengeful mentality of repaying kindness and revenge determined that Lian Po would definitely take revenge.  This is why Lian Po would say, "When I see Xiangru, I will humiliate him."  On the other hand, we can see that Lian Po would be jealous of Lin Xiangru, who had a higher status than himself, but not King Zhao, who had a much higher status than himself.  Why? Because Lin Xiangru and Lian Po are in the same competitive field, but Lian Po and King Zhao are not in the same competitive field.  Lin Xiangru's method of dealing with Lian Po's jealousy was very wise: he could consider the overall situation, not compete with Lian Po to continue to stimulate Lian Po's strong jealousy, avoid opportunities for contact with Lian Po, and resolve Lian Po in a curve  Jealousy towards himself made Lian Po realize his mistakes and admire him.  In life, meticulous people often feel that their excellence will attract the jealousy of others. At this time, the smart way is to be low-key and tolerant of others to avoid stimulating the jealousy of others.  If a person believes in his talent and acts in a high-profile manner and feels that he is the best in the world and is arrogant, this may make many people around him disgusted and even be attacked by those around him.  There are also Empress Lu and Qi Ji of the Han Dynasty. Because of their jealousy, they staged an extremely tragic harem battle.  Liu Bang, the founder of the Han Dynasty, defeated Xiang Yu and established the Han Dynasty.  Liu Bang made his first wife his queen, Queen Lu, and made Qi Ji his concubine.  According to the ancient etiquette system, the queen's status, rank, treatment, etc. are all higher than those of the concubines. Therefore, Queen Lu had no reason to be jealous of Qi Ji, but the young and beautiful Qi Ji won Liu Bang's favor as soon as she entered the palace.  She was always favored, but the old and beautiful Empress Lu was neglected.  Although Empress Lu was hostile to Qi Ji, she was helpless because she was afraid of Liu Bang.  From that time on, every time Liu Bang went out, he would always ask Qi Ji to accompany him, and Queen Lu stayed in Chang'an. Moreover, even when discussing affairs with ministers, Liu Bang would fall in love with Qi Ji.  Empress Lu stayed alone in the empty house and resented Qi Ji even more.  Qi Ji was proud of the spring breeze and did not take Empress Lu seriously.  Liu Bang foundedAfter the dynasty, Liu Ying, the daughter of Empress Lu, was originally made the crown prince. However, after Qi Ji entered the palace, Liu Bang loved the house and crows. He felt that Liu Ruyi, the daughter of Qi Ji, looked very much like him, so he abolished the crown prince Liu Ying and established Liu Ying instead.  Liu Ruyi is the prince.  After Empress Lu learned about Liu Bang's idea, she couldn't sleep at night and felt very uncomfortable.  In the end, Liu Bang died before he could depose the crown prince Liu Ying. Naturally, Liu Ying, the daughter of Empress Lu, became the emperor.  Because Liu Ying was only seventeen years old and could not handle political affairs personally, the power fell into the hands of Empress Lu.  After Empress Lu took power, she began to take revenge on Qi Ji, who had competed with her for favor.  Queen Lu ordered people to shave Qi Ji's hair, remove her palace clothes, and put Qi Ji in prisoner's clothes.  Rushed to Yongxiang and imprisoned, she was punished with hard labor of pounding rice.  Queen Lu felt that this was not enough to relieve her anger.  So, he sent someone to poison Qi Ji's son Liu Ruyi to death.  They cut off Qi Ji's hands and feet, gouged out her eyes, deafened her ears, mute her throat with medicine, and threw Qi Ji into the toilet.  Queen Lu is the queen, and her identity, status, rank, and treatment are much higher than those of Qi Ji, but she is jealous and takes revenge on Qi Ji.  It should be that Qi Ji was jealous and took revenge on Lu Cai, right?  Why does this happen?  Is my theory about jealousy wrong?  No, Empress Lu and Qi Ji are certainly two competitors in the same competitive field. Of course, Empress Lu's status, identity, grade, treatment and other conditions are much better than those of Qi Ji.  However, these are not the main aspects of their competition.  What Empress Lu and Qi Ji compete for is Liu Bang's favor. In the field of competition for Liu Bang's favor, Empress Lu is obviously at a disadvantage compared to Qi Ji; Qi Ji is inferior in the field of gaining Liu Bang's favor.  Obviously better than, stronger than, and surpassed Empress Lu because she won Liu Bang's special favor.  In the case of polygamy, jealousy among wives competes for the favor of their husbands, and verbal attacks and even physical fights are inevitable.  Therefore, jealousy is often a hot spot among a man's multiple wives.  Especially when this man holds a lot of wealth and supreme power, the competition between his wives will be much more intense.  Because she is favored by her husband.  It means getting everything from your husband; losing your husband's special favor means losing everything.  Queen Lu was deeply jealous of Qi Ji and regarded Qi Ji as a thorn in her side and a thorn in her flesh.  Because Qi Ji was favored by Liu Bang, but she had been abandoned by Liu Bang.  Qi Ji is Empress Lu's biggest challenger in terms of interests, and she is almost there.  Qi Ji will replace Empress Lu.  The huge threat from Qi Ji will definitely cause great harm to Empress Lu.  This aroused Queen Lu's strong desire for revenge against Qi Ji.  Queen Lu's strong desire for revenge eventually turned into torture, abuse and killing of Qi Ji after she took power.  From these historical stories.  We can clearly see the dangers and seriousness of jealousy!  Therefore, we cannot underestimate jealousy. Once jealousy occurs, we must overcome it as soon as possible!  Only when customers overcome their jealousy, your future will be bright and your future will be great!  The prime minister's belly can hold a boat. If a person wants to succeed, he must have a tolerant heart, but people with jealousy will not have such a tolerant heart. Therefore, people with jealousy will eventually become  There will be no success!  However, although jealousy has great disadvantages, it does not mean that jealousy has no benefits. In fact, there are many benefits of jealousy.  From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, jealousy may arise from two points: first, the individual's need to maintain and expand his or her sphere of influence and reproduce, such as the lion king's protection of his territory and the maintenance of the female lion's mating privileges; second,  There is a need for equal distribution of production and living materials. In ancient times, backward productivity required collective cooperation to obtain production and living materials that were only enough for everyone. Only equal distribution can maintain the existence of the collective and society. Therefore, it is possible that inequality is often not understood by people's instincts.  accept.  Where a person is jealous, it also means where his inferiority complex is, which means where his self-esteem is, which in turn means where his possible goals are. Therefore, as long as a lot of "jealousy" can be corrected,  It has to be guided into hostile goals and directions, or measures to improve one's own performance due to "jealousy" will be beneficial to the overall long-term action goals.  At the same time, jealousy has two benefits for the healthy development of the group: First, it prompts individuals to instinctively protect their own rights and interests, such as the story of Lin Daiyu's jealousy of Xue Baochai in "A Dream of Red Mansions"; Second, jealousy can make people in high positions and powerful through democracy  The behavior of perpetrators should be supervised to curb their ultra vires behavior, such as the "Watergate Incident" in the United States, the "Klinton Scandal", and even the exposure of the "Treasure Island Chen Bianbian Corruption" incident.  justIt proves the positive impact that jealousy and jealousy have on society.  Throughout the ages, there have been some people who, when they saw others succeed, not only did they not learn humbly and work hard to make progress, but they became jealous of others and wished they were just like them.  No, Zhou Yu in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is such a narrow-minded "hypocrite".  "Borrowing Arrows from a Straw Boat" in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" shows Zhou Yu's narrow-mindedness: the Battle of Chibi is imminent, and Zhou Yu sees that Zhuge Liang is resourceful.  It will become a serious nuisance, and you will be jealous of it.  He asked him to prepare a hundred thousand arrows within three days to deliberately make things difficult for him.     did not expect.  Zhuge Liang signed the military order with confidence.  On the third day, he took advantage of the heavy fog, used scarecrows to place suspicious soldiers on the boat, and sailed to Cao's camp.  Of course Cao Cao was fooled and "gifted" more than 100,000 arrows to the Wu army for nothing.  Zhuge Liang successfully foiled Zhou Yu's plot.  Just like Zhou Yu, why do people feel jealous?  Everyone who wants to make progress will naturally feel a little jealous when they see others succeed.  No one is perfect, but as long as we change our thinking.  Turn jealousy into motivation, work hard to make progress, and you will naturally become more and more motivated.  Modern society emphasizes competition, and with the rise of social media, we can "peep" into other people's lives all the time.  Everyone can¡¯t help but think: ¡°I wish I could have such a nice car, live in such a big house, and travel around the world.¡± We may even be angry: why do they have so many good things¡ªbeauty, status, power?  , love, where is my share?  The Analects of Confucius says: "A gentleman is careful but does not compare; a villain compares but is not careful." The occurrence of jealousy is closely related to the psychological gap.  People often use the phrase "some people are angry but others are not laughing" to describe some jealous people.  When there is a gap between reality and ideals, people will compare.  There is a serious sense of inner imbalance and aversion to others, causing tension in interpersonal relationships.  Jealousy is also closely related to personality.  Generally speaking, people with low self-esteem tend to be more jealous, while people with high self-esteem tend to be less jealous.  The core of jealousy is actually one sentence: I am not good enough or I am not as good as others.  People look at each other in the mirror.  In a "good" mirror, oneself is reflected as "not good enough", and such pain will directly trigger the fear of "being abandoned and ignored".  However, jealousy is a normal emotional experience.  Contains negative forces (such as hatred, aggression, etc.) and positive forces (such as strong possessiveness and desire for possession).  Jealousy is painful because most of the emotion is taken up by hatred and aggression.  If you turn these negative forces into desires and possessions.  You can turn jealousy into motivation.  To overcome your own jealousy, first ask yourself: What am I comparing to?  What do I want?  What others have is not necessarily what you want. You must learn to accept, respect, appreciate and think from others' perspective.  Secondly, we need to find gaps to catch up.  What a person is jealous of means where his inferiority complex is, where his self-esteem is, and where his goals are.  Objectively analyze your own situation, seriously reflect on the strengths of others, and what you need to do to reach that level. Focus on enriching your own knowledge and improving your abilities, rather than relying on jealousy to bring others down.  Finally, use proper ways to vent your emotions, such as talking to family or friends; relieving negative emotions through exercise, etc. You must also see your own strengths, explore your own potential, and learn to respect and love yourself.  "Jealousy can be said to be the most common and deep-rooted emotion of human beings." "Among all the characteristics of human nature, jealousy is the most unfortunate emotion." Both sentences come from Russell's "The Road to Happiness"  "Jealousy Chapter" in.  Unlike greed and laziness, which are bad habits that can make the human body indulge in pleasure, jealousy only brings pain, but we never tire of it.  From the perspective of personality characteristics, jealous people tend to be competitive, have poor self-control, are narrow-minded, focus on personal gains and losses, and are unable to care about others.  Jealousy is a base emotion and the enemy of communication.  It can lead to the loss of friendships among relatives, friends, and colleagues, broken relationships, and tense relationships. In severe cases, it can cause rumors and slander, and even lead to attacks and sabotage behaviors of others. Long-term jealousy can also cause psychosomatic diseases.  Hegel once pointed out that "jealousy is using other people's achievements to punish oneself."  Have you ever envied others?  Have you ever thought about being someone else?  You are peeping and comparing, why are others really living better than you?  When you find that the person you once envied actually has the same troubles and sufferings as you, do you want to secretly enjoy yourself for a while?  Those "haters" will always find a reason to criticize you or even slander you.  They are not willing to do what you have done, make the same sacrifices as you, or put in the time and effort to work, they are just jealous of your success, but never bother to spend time and effort to achieve their goals.  A person who is immersed in his own pursuit of life has no time to care about other people's trivial matters.  The saying "Much trouble out of nothing" comes from this.  There is time to be jealous of others.  It just shows that this person has no ideals and no ambitions.  There is nothing to do but pick out the thorns in others with a magnifying glass.  Looking for shortcomings in others.  If you succeed, it will be like sniffing poppy poppies, numbing yourself and hoping to gain a moment of psychological balance.  If you want to go off the beaten track and achieve something extraordinary, you have to understand that there will always be people who will be jealous and resentful of your achievements.  In fact, others will always be others, and you will always be you. Instead of being envious and jealous of others.  It's better to live your true self.  Comparative psychology is like eating peanuts. Once you chew the taste, it is difficult to stop. Unknowingly, you have caught the taste and your mouth is dry.  Comparison is the core of jealousy and the beginning of the butterfly effect. There is a subtle connection between the two.  Suppose that classmate A's score in a certain exam is very satisfactory, and classmate B's score happens to be the one on classmate A's paper, and classmate B has a strong self-esteem and is unwilling to let others do better than him.  This is when jealousy arises.  If used properly, the results will be improved by leaps and bounds, but if used improperly, both sides will be defeated.  In fact, this is very dangerous. Murder and robbery start from such a bud.  In ancient times, Dongfang Shuo always behaved in an unobtrusive and low-key manner.  Although it is for the sake of the country's rise and fall, his self-centeredness will instantly disgrace others, and his colleagues who are officials in the same dynasty will definitely ostracize him.  Because there are fewer opportunities to lick the anus, this is a natural reaction for normal people.  "Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the country."  Although the blessings are not shared, this can be attributed to the characteristics.  There is another kind of person who can't stand the slightest bit of pride in others.  At some point, he may have inadvertently aroused the darkness of jealousy in his heart.  Just like Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter, choose one and only honor it. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? away  The most obvious thing is people who live on the same land and know each other. Such people always like to talk to each other and will inevitably compare.  For example, if someone's child is admitted to a certain prestigious university, even if their family can't afford the tuition, they are happy to talk to everyone they see, and they can't sleep for three days, never caring whether their words hit others' weaknesses.  In fact, they haven¡¯t even figured out what major their children will study, and they don¡¯t care whether the school they want to go to has a strong major in this field. Even if they go to Harvard to study Chinese, they feel that it¡¯s more respectable.  After graduation, he will definitely do something earth-shattering, and it is natural for him to make a big fuss in the palace.  ¡° Another example is when someone¡¯s child gets married, and the daughter-in-law is more handsome than Yang Yuhuan, even though she has never met Yang Yuhuan.  This type of people always hope to be praised by others, even if it is hypocritical. They seem to feel that as long as they like something, they have to hold their noses and smell it even if others don't like it.  This is the reason why there are enemies in the first place. It is probably because of the imbalance of mentality and the incompatibility of temperament that they start fighting each other.  Perhaps this is also a good side. It sets up an invisible barrier in front of everyone to prevent those opportunists from becoming calm.  Jealousy is undoubtedly the most direct driving force that forces a person to move towards the life goal he has longed for. Under the constant material or non-material self-stimulation of others, he constantly urges his naturally lazy self to move forward slowly, even if it is just to complete the task.  A third of yesterday's goal.  Many successful and non-successful people have encountered complex pressures, psychological or physical stimulation from the outside world that are more or less severe or cruel.  These will make his already unbalanced heart even more bumpy. On the winding and complicated road, he will bear the pain that others cannot bear, and step by step towards his own life path, even if he is always laughed at and fooled by others.  There is no need to stick to a goal that cannot be ridiculed.  Each of us has jealousy, but the strength and weakness will be different. The most likely to cause us jealousy is often those familiar friends and relatives around us. We often cannot accept their seemingly overnight changes. In this kind of situation, we all have jealousy.  We are most likely to make mistakes when we are under the control of our emotions.  Sometimes it brings irreparable harm to others, and it also deeply hurts ourselves, because jealousy is actually a double-edged sword. When we stab others, it also indirectly stabs ourselves.  How deeply it hurts others, it hurts ourselves as deeply.  When faced with jealousy, most people are aware of its harmfulness, but very few can control it. They often struggle with the double distress of knowing that they cannot do anything but doing it anyway.?At this time, we must think innovatively to get ourselves out of the sea of ??suffering as soon as possible.  All human actions are driven by interests.  What causes us to be jealous is that others have a higher status than us, and there is a distance difference.  In fact, jealousy cannot shorten any distance between us and others. Even if we have the ability to pull others down from their high position, while pulling them down, we ourselves will move down from our current position until we maintain our original position.  Only when there is a certain distance difference can it stop.  In the whole action, we have not gained any benefits at all, and we have dragged ourselves into a worse environment. Others who should be superior are still above us.  There is another consequence, that is, in the entire action, not only did we not pull the other party down, but we actually lifted the other party higher and pushed ourselves lower.  Since we are already so jealous of each other, we should stop adding to them. Therefore, when facing jealousy, we can only find the reason for the gap in ourselves, and then through our own efforts, we can catch up and surpass them.  This is the only way to benefit ourselves when facing jealousy.  Jealousy is not completely bad. We are not saints. Everyone will be jealous. As long as the jealousy really does not have any malicious intent to attack others, and we cannot avoid it even if we know it is not good, then we might as well accept our jealousy and let it be ourselves.  The motivation to move forward is good.  As long as you don¡¯t get carried away by jealousy, when the unwillingness comes to your mind, in addition to comparing the efforts that you can see, you should also think about the efforts that others may have made for factors that are better than you.  I believe that a person with normal values ??will not be led to a dead end by uncontrollable jealousy. Instead, he will work harder to reach his goal based on his disdain and jealousy.  God never loves the wrong person, He only loves those who work harder.  (To be continued, please search Piaotian Literature, the novel will be better and updated faster! PS: Note: Thank you to Ke Lu and Godman for their support of two monthly tickets respectively. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Xie Zhixiu for your generous support. Thank you.  !
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