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Volume 1: A Noble Family Chapter 249: Training Mi Heng

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    A crazy and slovenly scholar suddenly appeared in front of the "Zhenxi General's Mansion". He was talking nonsense and made all the guards look at him angrily. He only waited for the governor's order and immediately chopped him into pieces with knives.  But the scholar was completely unaware of it. He looked extremely arrogant and turned a deaf ear to Du Shi's reprimand. He glanced at Du Shi, Zhen Mi, Feng Yunniang and other beauties, and said with disdain: "Just because of you crooked melons,  Zao, I haven¡¯t taken it seriously yet!¡± Unexpectedly, this man was so rampant that he could even humiliate women. Madam Du was so angry that she trembled with anger. She pulled off Yuan Mai¡¯s clothes and said with an aggrieved look: ¡°Husband, this is  You are too arrogant. Please order him to be killed as a warning. Otherwise, how will your husband's official authority survive?" Yuan Mai was so angry that he sobered up.  What is Cao Cao¡¯s purpose in sending such a crazy person to Hanoi for no reason?  Could it be that he just wanted to let this guy insult him? Although it was annoying, it was not painful, and everything would be over with one strike. With Cao Cao's IQ, he shouldn't do such a boring thing, right?  There are many masters of scolding in the Three Kingdoms. Zhuge Villager is one of the most famous ones. He made Zhou Yu angry to death, fought with Confucian scholars, and scolded Wang Lang to death.  But there is another guy who is even more venomous when it comes to scolding people, and he has no scruples. He can scold as much as he wants. This guy is the famous Mi Heng!  "Could it be that you are Mr. Mi Heng?" Yuan Mai didn't know Mi Heng's name, so he held back his anger and asked tentatively.  "That's right, it's Mi Heng. You still have some eyesight!" Mi Heng rolled his eyes and admitted straightforwardly: "Cao Dwarf has eyes but doesn't recognize Taishan. Leave a talented person like me alone.  They actually reused Xun Yu who could only mourn and inquire about illness, Cheng Yu who closed his house, Guo Jia who read poems in vain, Xun You who guarded tombs, Xu Chu who herded cattle and horses, and Li Dian who passed letters and sent messages.  Yue Jin of Zhao, Lu Qian who sharpened swords and forged swords Wait, wait, they are all wine bags and rice bags. What do you think Cao Mengde is if he is not blind? Listening to Mi Heng humiliating all Cao Cao's men.  Yuan Mai was speechless. He didn't expect that this guy was indeed a pervert like Mi Heng. Compared with Zhuge Liang's rhetoric, Mi Heng's curses were completely unreasonable and were just for the sake of scolding.  It's like a drug addiction. If you don't curse someone for a day, your whole body will feel uncomfortable. No matter how unpleasant or humiliating the other person is, it doesn't matter who he is. It's not in his dictionary.  There is no such thing as "fear". Not scolding someone for a day is worse than death! Mi Heng's most famous play was to scold Cao Cao naked, which happened a few days ago when the war was suspended.  After that, Cao Cao was dealing with political affairs in Xuchang and learned that Mi Heng was a man who spoke freely. Not only did he scold his subordinates secretly, but he also scolded him, and he was slandered to the point of being useless. This made Cao Cao furious.  I was so angry that I wished I could cut Mi Heng in two with a knife. But although Mi Heng was arrogant and arrogant, he was extremely talented, had a photographic memory, could speak well, was good at poetry, and was proficient in music. He was very famous throughout the Central Plains.  Some great scholars, such as Zheng Xuan, Kong Rong, Cai Yong, etc., all spoke highly of Mi Heng's talent. Therefore, although Cao Cao hated this pervert, he was afraid that killing Mi Heng would affect his reputation.  This outrageous crime caused talents from all over the world to stay away from him, so he kept silent about it. In order to humiliate Ni Heng, Cao Cao held a banquet for guests one day and ordered Ni Heng to serve as a drummer and play the drums for the court.  Officials have rules, and they must change into new clothes when playing the drum. But what a pervert is Mi Heng, how can he just let others do it, wear old clothes, go straight to the drum, and beat it with a hammer?  He was very accomplished in music. He seemed to be beating randomly, but the sound of the drum was as wonderful as the sound of gold and stone. Cao Cao wanted to humiliate Mi Heng, but he didn't expect that he would beat him.  Feeling dissatisfied with the limelight, he sent someone to take Mi Heng into the main hall and scolded him: "You are also a man who has read poetry and books, don't you know the rules of changing clothes when playing drums?  "After hearing this, Mi Heng laughed wildly, took off all his clothes in the main hall, and stood naked. All the civil and military officials were pale, shaking their heads, and covering their eyes. "This Mi Heng is so rude, even if Cao Cao is self-conscious.  No matter how good he was, he could hardly control himself. He placed one hand on the "Eternal Sword" beside him and asked angrily: "How dare you be so rude above the temple?  Believe it or not, I will kill you in the palace?  " Mi Heng looked up to the sky and laughed and said: "It is rude to deceive the emperor and ignore your superiors.  How can I be considered rude when I reveal my parents' appearance to show my innocence?  " "You are innocent, who is dirty?  "Cao Cao asked angrily while pressing his sword.  Mi Heng replied disdainfully: "If you don't know the wise and foolish, it's because your eyes are dirty; if you don't read poetry and books, it's your mouth; if you don't accept honest advice, it's your ears; if you don't understand the past and present, it's your body; you can't tolerate princes."  , It's a turbid belly; it's a turbid heart that always harbors rebellion! I am a famous person in the world, and I am a drum official.  Talent? " According to historical development, Kong Rong with big ears stood up at this time and asked Cao Cao to send Mi Heng to Jingzhou to persuade Liu Biao to surrender, so that Cao Cao would not kill Mi Heng in anger. This was his old friend.  But because of the butterfly effect of Yuan Mai¡¯s time travel, the trajectory of the story changed.  Cao Cao suddenly remembered that Yuan Mai had snatched Gao Shun and Zhang Liao from him, and took advantage of the fierce battle between himself and Yuan Shao to sneak attack Henan, which caused him a lot of suffering, and decided to send Mi Heng to Hanoi to humiliate Yuan.  purchase.  Cao Cao thought this way. Liu Biao was mature and prudent, and he could definitely figure out that he sent Mi Heng to borrow a sword to kill people; but Yuan Mai was young and energetic, and after being humiliated by Mi Heng, a pervert, he would probably draw his sword on the spot.  Mi Heng cut it into two pieces.  Therefore, he temporarily changed his mind and sent someone to kidnap Mi Heng. Regardless of whether he wanted to or not, he was forcibly sent to Hanoi.  Although Yuan Mai did not see this scene with his own eyes, after a little consideration, he could guess the reason why Mi Heng appeared in Hanoi.  "Tsk, tsk Cao Ah Man, Cao Ah Man, you are so treacherous. You actually want to borrow my knife to kill people. You underestimate me, Yuan Xianyong!" Although I say this, how to deal with this pervert Mi Heng is really a headache.  .  Even Cao Cao didn't dare to kill Mi Heng without permission. It can be seen from this that this guy's reputation is loud enough. If he kills this pervert out of revenge, he will fall into Cao Cao's trick, and he must not do this.  We should think of a way to get the best of both worlds!  I saw my man¡¯s face changing from gloomy to clear.  The changes were unpredictable, and Mrs. Du couldn't guess what her husband was thinking for a while, so she asked aggrievedly: "Husband, who cares who he is? This humiliates you and me. Just kill me. To avoid being laughed at!" Yuan Mai calmly said  He patted Du's shoulder and said softly: "You and Ah Mi and the others will go back home for now. I have my own plans for this matter!" Du was helpless.  He could only glance at Mi Heng bitterly, and then returned to the mansion with Zhen Mi, Feng Yun and his wife, leaving only dozens of guards who didn't know what was going on.  Mi Heng was very proud and said arrogantly: "Cao Ah Man asked me to persuade you to surrender, but if you are a wise Taishan, let me be a long history or a ruler, or something else, I will definitely use my talents to let you  You have become the overlord! " "Yuan Mai is neither stunned nor stupid. Even if Jiang Shang is reincarnated and Guan Zhong is reborn, in this age of heroes, he would not dare to boast like this. You kid, go to the grave and burn newspapers, are you a liar?  You are so immodest. Changshi, Zhizhong, and Biejiazhi are the three assistant officials of the state governor. They hold high positions. You kid opened your mouth to ask for such an official position. I just reward you. With your ability, you can do it.  Is it competent?  However, Yuan Mai has already seen that this kid's intelligence is not normal. If he had left it before time travel, he would have been sent to a mental hospital long ago. Reasoning with him would be a waste of time and might cause him to yell and curse, causing disaster.  My family, it¡¯s best to calm down and deal with him slowly!  "It's easy, it's easy. You can stay in the post house and I will make arrangements for you!" Yuan Mai said perfunctorily with a smile on his face. Before Mi Heng could say anything, he called two soldiers to "escort" this guy there.  The post house, then turned around and returned home, found a smart servant, whispered some instructions in his ear, and finally said with a bad smile: "If something goes wrong, don't ask for this year's wages!" The servant smiled knowingly: "Sir  Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m good at playing tricks. I¡¯ll make sure this lunatic obeys your orders!¡± After receiving the order, the servant tidied up a house in the back alley of the General¡¯s Mansion.  , prepared the food and wine, and then went to the post house to invite Mi Heng over.  Mi Heng just entered the courtyard and smelled the fragrant aroma. When he walked in, he saw that this table of delicacies was quite sumptuous. The wine in the pot also smelled mellow and fragrant. He immediately moved his index finger.  After all, I walked from Xuchang to Hanoi for six or seven days. I was so hungry that I was almost deflated. I had not touched oil or water for such a long time. I almost cried out when I looked at the delicious food with all the color, fragrance and color Although there is no one to accompany you, you  Heng didn't take it too seriously, but felt even more peaceful.  How could these ordinary people deserve to drink at the same table with a great talent like me?  "Sir, please use it slowly, I'll excuse you!" After letting Mi Heng into the room, the servant stepped back with a smile, and quietly locked the door from the outside when he went out. Mi Heng only focused on eating and drinking without noticing at all.  Sitting cross-legged in front of the deskMi Heng picked up the chopsticks and tasted the food on the table. Although it was delicious, it was a little salty. However, after many days of light travel, he didn't care about it at the moment. He poured the turbid wine into a bowl and ate it.  Drink and feast.  After drinking and eating, Mi Heng felt slightly sleepy and was ready to get up and relax before going to bed.  When I walked to the door and pulled it, I realized that it was locked. I couldn't help but curse.  At first, he asked tentatively: "Is there anyone alive outside? How dare you tease me? This is really unreasonable!" After shouting for a while, no one answered, and he gradually became angry and pointed the finger at Yuan Mai: "Yuan Xianyong.  , You hypocrite, how dare you treat a sage like this? How will you see your ancestors after your death?" In the end, he became extremely angry and started to swear: "Yuan Xianyong, you are not a fucking human being!  You treat me so insidiously. No wonder your father was born a concubine. With a character like yours, you are not worthy of being born a concubine!" After scolding for a while, Mi Heng was tired.  Damn it, it¡¯s convenient for you not to let me go out, isn¡¯t it?  You have a good plan, I have a wall ladder!  Without saying a word, Mi Heng touched the empty wine bottle and started peeing. With the sound of "squeaking", how could the word "pleasure" be so good!  "Ohit feels so comfortable!" Mi Heng finished urinating and felt so comfortable that he fell on the bed and fell asleep.  Half an hour later, my mouth was dry, so I stood up and picked up the clay kettle to take a sip to quench my thirst. When I touched it in my hand, I realized something was wrong. Why did the kettle feel empty?  When he took off the lid, he saw that it was indeed empty. Mi Heng put the mouth of the bottle in his mouth, raised his head and waited for a long time, but he didn't see a drop of water coming out Firstly, the dishes he ate were very salty, and secondly, he cursed for a long time.  , Mi Heng's mouth was dry, and smoke was rising from his throat. He walked to the window and pulled it hard a few times. It had been locked tightly and was motionless. If he wanted to go out, there was not only no door, but also no window!  "Yuan Xianyong, I'll fuck you for eight generations, you insidious villain!" Mi Heng became anxious and roared at the top of his lungs.  The more he scolded, the thirstier he became. The feeling of his throat being on fire was really unbearable. Mi Heng scolded for a while, but couldn't stand it anymore. He patted the door frame and said feebly: "Is there anyone outside? Have mercy on meI'm dying of thirst."  It¡¯s really not possible!¡± With red eyes, Mi Heng walked to the table and picked up the wine bottle. Inside was the ¡°golden juice and jade liquid¡± he had just released. If no one paid attention to him anymore, he would have to recycle it!  At this moment, the window opened a crack, and the servant who sent him here said proudly: "Sir, how does it feel to be thirsty?" People under the eaves had to lower their heads, and Mi Heng had to submit: "It feels uncomfortable.  , I feel bad! Brother, can you give me a bowl of water? "Are you still swearing?  "The servant asked reluctantly. Mi Heng rolled his eyes and thought, I will agree to it for the time being, and when I get the water into my hands, I will scold me when I go out tomorrow! "No more scolding, no more scolding, no more scolding.  !  The servant smiled and said, "That's pretty much it. Knowing your mistakes can correct them. There is no greater good. Children can be taught!"  " As he spoke, Mi Heng handed Mi Heng a pottery bottle filled with water through the crack in the window. Mi Heng hurriedly took it, carefully opened the bottle cap and took a look. He saw that it was indeed crystal clear spring water inside, and he was immediately happy.  He laughed loudly and cursed: "I don't dare to curse anymore. Unless the sun comes out from the west, as long as I live, I will curse everyone in the world!"  You idiot!  The servant you raised is so stupid, it shows that your master is also a big idiot!  But the servant showed no anger, and said with a smile: "Mr., take a sip first and then curse, to avoid dry lips!"  " Mi Heng's mouth was already dry and his throat was on fire. He immediately picked up the bottle and took a sip. He suddenly became furious and threw the bottle to the ground. He kept vomiting "Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah!"  , actually put salt in the water?  "(To be continued, please search Piaotian Literature, the novels will be better and updated faster!
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