"I'm pregnant." I handed the pregnancy test stick to Du Jiansheng in my hand. Although I was nervous, my face was still stubborn: "What do you want to do?" "I probably want to ask you what to do. ?" Du Jiansheng put away the books on the table in a dark voice: "Su Ziwen, we all agreed at the beginning. Did I buy you birth control pills? You are causing trouble for us." I threw the pregnancy test stick on the ground: "Then you just want to ignore it?" "Why are you still angry?" Du Jiansheng was slightly surprised: "I don't think you are. People who care about this kind of thingOkay, I'll call a few of them and let's discuss what to do together." After school, Du Jiansheng, An Niancheng and Mu Qingchen were squatting on the corner of the school. Location consultation strategies. Mu Qingchen thought for a while: "How about you two give birth to the child? A miscarriage is very harmful to a woman's body, right?" "Are you kidding me?" Du Jiansheng objected coldly: "If the child is born, do you think my old man can do it?" Do you want me to marry her?" Mu Qingchen seemed to want to say, "Then you marry her," but before he could say anything, he was stopped by Anian Cheng. An Niancheng is a good man, so he naturally understands that Du Jiansheng will not marry me. What Mu Qingchen said was not to help me, it would only make my situation more embarrassing. "How about aborting it!" Anyiancheng's suggestion was very pertinent and practical: "I know some private clinics where my girlfriends got pregnant. If Ziwen goes, I can help arrange it." It¡¯s only a few weeks now. The sooner we do the surgery, the better.¡± The three of them looked at me in unison, as if abortion was a certainty. "Give me a cigarette." I took the cigarette with trembling hands, lit it tremblingly, took a deep breath, and then said: "Okay let's wait until my mother is not at home in two days!" As the most experienced man, Aniancheng designed a careful plan. Including the surgical itinerary, as well as the place for post-operative recovery and the lies that were kept hidden from the truth. Du Jiansheng had a stern look on his face, and finally nodded decisively. It seems that nothing can be changed. Although I tried my best to hold it off, the accident happened suddenly. In the eighth week of my pregnancy, my lower body suddenly started bleeding. On the way home from school with Du Jiansheng, I passed out. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ve been through, and I don¡¯t know what happened. But when I woke up, I was already lying in a shabby private clinic. "Are you awake?" Du Jiansheng was sitting next to my bed. His eyes were bloodshot. It seemed that he hadn't slept all night. The pain in my lower body was so severe that I could already guess what happened. My mouth was full of sweetness, and my words were hissing: "I want to drink some water" Du Jiansheng helped me up, fed me some saliva, and said coldly: "I want to go now I¡¯m going to school. I¡¯ll take leave later. I¡¯m coming over.¡± I didn¡¯t even have the strength to speak, so I could only blink and tell him that I understood. Although I knew that Du Jiansheng was going to school to cover up for me, I still felt very sad when I saw him put the tea cup on the cabinet and leave without saying anything. I was lying alone on the hospital bed. Du Jiansheng gave me money, and the nurse was kind to me. But the child is gone, and my body has been hollowed out. He is not by my side to accompany me, and the air is so thin that it makes it difficult for me to breathe. Because my body is too weak, I don¡¯t have much energy to feel sad. As I lay on the bed and finally fell asleep, I heard two nurses laughing and saying in a low voice that Du Jiansheng was a big mistake for giving them so much money, and how embarrassing it was for me as a girl to get pregnant out of wedlock. "It's an ectopic pregnancy!" A nurse's words came clearly: "The fallopian tube is broken. I heard that I won't be able to get pregnant in the future You're here! Your girlfriend is fine" Then there was another slap from outside. , I lay on the pillow and couldn't help crying. "Ziwen?" The quarrel outside continued, but Du Jiansheng had already reached me and hugged me: "Let's go home, we won't live here anymore." I lay in his arms and started crying. Du Jiansheng was still the first to cry. Once she spoke to me so gently: "I should have stayed with you this morning But, I was really frightened. This is the first time I have seen a girl bleeding so much Zi Wen, I'm sorry "He feels sorry for mebut he has nothing to do with me. It's me who likes him, and I'm the one who talks about it casually." Now that something happened, how could I put all the blame on him? If you want to say sorry, you can only say, I'm sorry. In the villa of Aniancheng family, I cultivated myself hastily.? months. After returning home, my mother was shocked: "Ziwen, didn't you go to the training camp? Why are you so thin?" Although I was very reluctant to lie to my parents, I had no other choice but to lie. Since then, Du Jiansheng has been careful and polite to me. He can say that he obeys my words. I know he wants to compensate me. But I don't need it. What he did didn't move me at all except making me feel pitiful and embarrassed. "Du Jiansheng, don't treat me like this in the future." I said to him straightforwardly: "You don't owe me anything." Du Jiansheng was very serious about this issue: "Since you don't like it, then let's do this Well, if I haven¡¯t met the woman I like in the future, and you haven¡¯t met the man I like, then we can get married, okay?¡± His seriousness sparked a glimmer of hope in my dead heart, and I knew he would definitely say that. He can do it and he will meet a woman he likes. Just this thought makes me panic. After that, all the girlfriends Du Jiansheng had were either threatened and threatened by me, or they were beaten and scolded by me to scare them away. Although Du Jiansheng knew that I had done something behind my back, he didn't say anything. Du Jiansheng was very indulgent towards me. Even when I tried to mess up him and Susie, he didn't blame me too much. His connivance made me feel extremely sick. In the panic and excitement, I even felt that my nerves were a little crazy. After Susie left, Du Jiansheng began to change. Du Jiansheng did not blame me for exposing him to Susie, but he blamed himself for being unfaithful to Susie. Every day and night, he began to drink without restraint and began to change women constantly. "The legend of Du Dian's invincibility at nightclub, I really don't know whether it should be regarded as a kind of appreciation or a kind of irony. "Zi Wen, no one will rob me from you in the future." Du Jiansheng came to me after drinking too much once: "I don't know if I still have a heart! Is my heart numb with pain, or has it already Dead" That time, I hugged his drunken body and cried all night. I love him, but because of my paranoia and fanaticism, I will eventually harm him. For quite a long time, I didn¡¯t dare to go out or see people. Even if I have to go out, I will cover myself as tightly as possible. I am very scared, but I don¡¯t know what I am afraid of. ¡°Perhaps I¡¯m afraid that Du Jiansheng¡¯s ex-girlfriends will make sarcastic remarks to me, or maybe I¡¯m afraid that my sick heart will be glimpsed. ¡°If Du Jiansheng has true love, I will be very panicked. But if he doesn't have true love, I will feel very scared. Finally one day, Du Jiansheng fell in love with someone again. Although he didn't say it, I knew that he was in love. At the Chinese New Year reception, he sat alone in the corner, constantly checking his cell phone. From time to time he would show a silly smile, from time to time he would hold his breath and frown, and occasionally, he would even laugh rudely. He fell in love with a person, a person who was not willing to let all of us see. More than a year later, I found out that the woman he fell in love with was named He Xinliang. The daughter of Mr. Cao and the sister of Mr. Cao Ziye. Because of that woman named He Xinliang, he simply became unlike himself. At the very least, he is no longer the rebellious and face-loving Du Jiansheng I knew. He once loved Susie so much that he got drunk every day. Now he loves He Xinliang so much that he is no longer himself. Du Jiansheng is serious. And very seriously. The uneasiness and fear that I once felt broke me down again, and I swung back and forth between reason and jealousy. I want to destroy He Xinliang, but I am also afraid of destroying Du Jiansheng. So, I want to seduce He Xinliang. As long as He Xinliang leaves Du Jiansheng like Su Xi, then I will still be saved. Then, I have a chance to win back Du Jiansheng. I gave He Xinliang sexual hints, I went to pursue He Xinliang, and I tried to find a way to turn her into a lesbian But before I could succeed, Du Jiansheng drove his car and hit me. "Su Ziwen, I'm only warning you once. From now on, you are not allowed to touch He Xinliang." Du Jiansheng stood in the heavy snow and said coldly: "This is a lesson for you, otherwise, I will shoot directly next time." The tank is going to hit you You should know if I'm joking. "I was trapped in the ruins of the car and couldn't get up, but he was so anxious that He Xinliang didn't even call an ambulance for me. I reluctantly asked him: "Why? Even if that woman treats you like a dog, will you go back? Are you fucking stupid?" Du Jiansheng's shoulders were covered with snow, and he didn't even look back: "Even if she treats me like a dog, I don't want to treat you like a dog"Love a worthy person! I'm not worth your time! " But what should I tell you? Your affairs are not a waste of time for me Du Jiansheng injured me, not only my body, but also my heart. I lay there for a long time It wasn¡¯t until New Year¡¯s Day that I could get out of bed. Actually, I¡¯m not a lesbian, but in the lesbian circle, there are mostly women like me who have been hurt by men and started to like women. I got a lot of comfort. On New Year's Day, I packed up my mood and planned to go to a lesbian party. I happened to see Du Jiansheng being kicked out of the house in a very embarrassed manner. I asked him first: "Are you still angry with me?" " Du Jiansheng shrugged: "How could it be possible? We have been friends for many years I was too impulsive that day. You weren't seriously injured, were you? " With so many years of friends, it would be fine if we had a fight. I didn't have anything important to do, so He Xinliang returned to Cao's house, and he was kicked out of the family. I laughed and said, "How about you go? Have fun at home? "Originally, I didn't have any hope, but who knew, Du Jiansheng actually agreed. When Du Jiansheng was unhappy, he always liked to sit in the room without turning on the lights. He Xinliang was not at home, and he became silent. He said yes to everything I said. Although he was very obedient, He Xinliang actually came back with a slight bulge in his stomach. She was completely wary of my appearance She also fell in love with Du Jiansheng, but she didn't know it. He Xinliang and I were sitting in front of the window watching the fireworks, and Du Jiansheng sat aside and secretly watched her I think this must be the worst New Year's Eve in my life. At night, the three of us went to our rooms to sleep. I lay in the guest room, but I couldn't sleep. How can I love someone? Is it better for you to give him what he wants? I have loved Du Jiansheng for so many years, but I have never thought about this problem. After lying down for a while, I finally decided. I ran to find Du Jiansheng. Standing at his door, I was a little hesitant and nervous. If Du Jiansheng wants me, then we will start again. If he rejects me, it will be the last good thing I do for him. . I called He Xinliang and knocked on the door. Just like when I was lying on the sofa of Du Jiansheng¡¯s house when I was sixteen, I called him through the door panel with my hands shaking so much. Jiansheng, I¡¯m Ziwen, can I come in? " Time seemed to have passed for a century. It was so long that I thought I was going to turn into a sculpture. Only then did Du Jiansheng say yes: "Come in! " I pushed open the door a little bit, praying silently in my heart. " This may be the rebirth of my love. " Or, it may make my love die more completely.