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Chapter 001: Sister, are you kidding me?

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    It was windy and rainy, with lightning and thunder, and the weather outside looked like the end of the world.  At this moment, I was holding a pack of heart-to-heart tissues in my hand, staring at the TV with my eyes fixed on the TV, and there were bursts of erotic sounds like "Yamaidi" and "Ohhhhhh".  ??For a short, poor bachelor, he can only rely on some external forces to relieve his inner loneliness. Who says **Si has no needs? You don¡¯t understand **Si¡¯s needs.  The pictures on TV made my mouth go dry, and a small fire kept beating in my heart, and finally it went directly to my belly button and between my legs. At this moment, the small tent had been erected, and I took out a heart seal and smelled it.  Smell, the fragrance of jasmine always has an indescribable ambiguity.  The woman wearing glasses has now taken off her short skirt that reaches her vagina, and is swinging back and forth on the TV with her big white butt stuck out. I can't stand this kind of woman who is posing, I want to raise my middle legs and despise her!  "Puff" At this critical moment, when I saw that I had taken off and was about to hug the sky, my stomach started to feel upset, and then I let out a series of crisp fart sounds like cracking soybeans.  "Zizzi" Perhaps in response to my fart, the TV made a sound like a leak, and then the screen went black and the woman with her big white buttocks was gone, and there was no sound at all.  The plane crashed!  For a man, there is nothing more frustrating than watching a plane crash after taking off, but at this moment I have no time to comfort my little brother who raises his head and tilts his head, because I already feel that no matter how relaxed my anus is, it will no longer be.  If you keep doing this, I'll probably have to wash my pants.  "Oh~~" I made a comfortable sound along with the sound of objects falling into the water. At this moment, the power went out in the house, and it was pitch black and my eyes were black.  "It's probably because of the rain outside." After all the trouble just now, I had no interest in continuing to be a pilot. After I was ready, I got into bed and went to sleep, lest the old bastard manager who couldn't get up tomorrow would trouble me again.  While working hard, I lamented that fate plays tricks on people. Yesterday I bought a CD, which was said to be a limited-edition version of A-list Actresses Fighting. I was so excited that I turned it on without even eating when I got home. The picture on the TV turned out to be the African savannah.  A group of wild animals in heat were doing exercises, accompanied by Teacher Zhao¡¯s rich voice, which made me cry. It was so deceiving.  ??It¡¯s hard to miss the animal world today, and there is a power outage again. Thinking of this, I reached out for paper, and then I realized that there was no paper in the bathroom.  ¡°Click~¡± The TV turned on again. I sat up from the toilet and sat back down again, because at this time, a woman with disheveled hair and white clothes was crawling out on the screen.  Nima is definitely an illusion that there are more. Isn't this the famous Miss Sadako!  Some people say that when you meet Sadako, you must put the TV against the wall. Some people say that when you meet Sadako, you must build a fire in front of the TV. Some even more nonsense say that you should put two TVs face to face. At this moment, my legs are weak, my hands are shaking, and my heart is panicking.  , let alone accomplishing the above things, I just didn¡¯t have the strength to stand up and run out.  I used the only strength I had left to slap my handsome face, it hurt!  It hurt so much that I almost cried.  "You don't come over. I shouted when you came over! I really shouted!" I said tremblingly.  Sadako seemed to understand what I said. Regardless of whether she could hear my pure Chinese, at least she stopped one meter outside the bathroom, and then wrinkled her nose, showing a look of disgust.  "Porphy~~~" My stomach was churning, and then a loud fart sound broke the tranquility at the moment. I looked at Sadako awkwardly, who was obviously very angry that I greeted her in this way, and there was already a hint of ferocity on her face.  Light.  "Ahem, the fart is a tiger. It's going to come out. I have to work hard, but there's nothing I can do!" I said with a sad face.  Maybe it was because I ate watermelon from three days ago at night, but I started to gush after the fart sound. The stench even made my eyes water. Looking at Sadako crawling on the ground, I felt a little worried.  I feel sorry for her. She smells my bowel movements, which is so embarrassing.  "Don't go forward. I really don't want to poop. When the wind comes, the rain will come. When the fart comes, it will definitely be shit Don't come over. If you come over again, I will let you go!" Sadako felt that the majesty of her ghost was being challenged.  I crawled forward twice. This time I was scared to death, but my stomach couldn't help it. I felt weak all over and all my urine and feces came out. It was definitely not because I was scared that I became incontinent. It was definitely the fault of the half watermelon.  ¡°I don¡¯t know if it was my words that had an effect, or the smell of the bathroom was too strong, Sadako stepped back a few times.  One person and one ghost are looking at each other from a few meters apart, whether I see them or not, Sadako is right there. Whether I poop or not, the toilet is right under my buttocks. This feeling makes me very uncomfortable. The only place that feels comfortable is probably my belly. It feels really good.  Looking at Sadako on the ground through the moonlight outside, I found that this woman is not that scary. She does not have the exaggerated white face in the movie, nor does she have a long tongue and sharp teeth that are so eye-catching. Instead, she is very delicate. If she puts her long hair up,  She must be a beautiful woman.  Time passed bit by bit, and it wasn¡¯t until my butt became numb and my legs lost all feeling that I knew it was time to get up and go out, because it was already bright outside the window, and the world would soon belong to me. After all, ghosts are afraid of the sun, and then it will be me.  It's time to win!  "Demacia!" I yelled while looking at the bright light outside the window, and then I stopped because I didn't have toilet paper. The moment I jumped up, I felt like I was dying and something was coming out of my anus. Don't tell me that you can see it.  It's disgusting, even I feel disgusted.  "Sister, are you tired? Can you help me get some paper?" I saw Sadako crawling on the ground. She was probably tired from crawling all night, so I planned to let her move around.  "Your name is Jia Danxiao?" The voice is as clear and sweet as a lark. Although I have never heard what a lark sounds like, I have seen it written like this in many books. I guess it sounds very nice, otherwise it would not be described in this way.  , so I copied it.  Although the voice was beautiful and pleasant, I didn¡¯t know how to answer. At this moment, I was lost in thought. I put a fist on my head with one hand, and sneakily reached for the trash can with the other hand. I remembered there was something there that I had wiped and thrown away yesterday.  of waste paper.  "I want to ask you to do me a favor, okay?" Sadako stopped crawling and stood up to move her arms and wrists. She must have been tired from crawling all night. She could still hear the bones making noise when she turned her neck.  The sound of "Gaba Gaba" is like filming a martial arts movie.  "You said, as long as I can do it, I will definitely do it for you." "Why don't you introduce yourself first?" Sadako asked, staring at me.  "I'm selling I'm a writer, an Internet writer." I said a little embarrassed, because I couldn't tell him that besides being an Internet writer, I also have a main job, that is Forget it  said.  "Write with a brush?" Sadako asked again.  "Wait a minute, something's wrong. Sadako should be from Japan. When did she speak Chinese so fluently that she can even take CET-4 or CET-6? There's no way she's from the same country that sells CDs.  "Can you speak Chinese?" I asked curiously, holding back my fear.  ¡°Everyone in our place must master English and Chinese. You¡¯ll find out when you get there when you have time.¡± After Sadako said this, a chill ran down my back. The place she was talking about was definitely the underworld!  "I don't like going abroad, so just tell me what you want me to do for you. In addition to killing people, setting fire to homes, robbing homes, deceiving people, and abducting people, I can do anything else." "You marry me." Sadako said seriously.  "Sister, are you kidding me?" When I finished saying this, I had already held up my pants with one hand and threw the wastebasket towards Sadako with the other hand, then I opened my two thick legs and ran out.  go.
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