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2170 twisted babble

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    The prosthetic body Gao Chuan woke up from his dream.  He gradually woke up and began to think. Some hazy thoughts were like the shadow of the moon in the water, rising to the sky and turning into a bright moon, which was also spreading hazy moonlight.  While half asleep and half awake, the bits and pieces floating in his mind caused ripples, making him feel that his soul was floating in a calm lake. With the help of the waves, which he didn't know whether it was an illusion, he saw pictures that had never been seen before.  I saw pictures that I had never thought of, I saw pictures that I seemed to be able to understand, but in fact I couldn't understand them all. I felt that I was not an immediate individual, but a diffuse whole, in a world that could not be described in words.  flowing in a grand cycle.

    He felt calm, but he also had an urge to break away from this calm.  He felt that he was struggling, but he could not imagine what kind of struggle it was.  He also felt that he was already used to all this.

    There are countless sounds that play when he develops self-awareness, and there are countless movements that occur during the process of him recognizing who he is.  It was as if the fragments of myself scattered in the boundless sea were reuniting together with these extremely complex movements.

    He, in such a weirdness and calmness that cannot be described in detail, gradually re-recognized who he was.

    I am Gao Chuan.

    A voice, which seemed to come from a fragment of his thoughts, was telling him:

    "If the "virus" is just a natural mechanism, then all the pain that people are experiencing today is inevitable, and all people's self-rescue is meaningless.

    If the "virus" is such an existence, then the idea of ????solving the "virus" to save people from the doomsday is simply impossible.

    Therefore, for the existence form of "human", "virus" must be "the culprit with malicious intent and subjective promotion of the end of the world."

    This voice suddenly appeared and continued to expand in proportion in the mind of the prosthetic body Gao Chuan.  He began to realize what he was thinking, but many of them gradually faded as he woke up. Only this one thought was clear and distinct, and its presence was larger and heavier than other thoughts. If  If he had to use a color to describe this idea, it would have to be gray and black. If he had to use a word he knew to describe it, it would have to be despair.

    The prosthetic body Gao Chuan is waking up. He knows that he is waking up. The memories before falling asleep are becoming more and more clear, more detailed, and more organized. However, when he starts to think consciously and actively,  When he went to sort out these thoughts, only immense despair and darkness filled his heart, as if telling him that he should not wake up at all.

    Being awake is painful, and thinking is also painful. Sleeping without knowing oneself is the only way to get rest.  As long as you live with a strong will, "living" itself is a shackles and the source of despair and pain. However, the idea of ??"surviving despite stubbornly fighting against these despair and pain" is in itself a great despair. It is absolutely  It will not bring people any peace, nor does it have any meaning. It is stubborn in the form of the person, in the thought of being a human being, and imposing subjective meaning on objective things. This in itself is a reflection of the limitations of the human being.  The brilliance that people claim to have in this limitation is nothing but self-deception.

    Human thinking, human soul, human¡¯s distinction between physical and non-physical properties, human¡¯s sense of independent spirituality, and the spiritual aspects relative to matter are all nothing but an illusion.  All the factors that make up "human" are unified and harmonious. There are no classifications and divisions in human subjective cognition. They are all just an insignificant part of the grand and objective movement.

    Human beings are neither living creatures nor philosophy, but simply an "objective movement", one of the details in a holistic and grand objective movement.  All self-knowledge is nothing but a manifestation of this movement. Once you recognize this and completely return to the essential objectivity, you will know what the "doomsday" is and what the "virus" is.

    There is never "the end", there is only the process of one kind of movement transforming into another.

    There is never a ¡°virus¡±, only the inevitable mechanism that occurs during the transformation of movement.

    There are never enemies, only the interference of one movement on another movement, and this interference itself is just a change of movement among thousands of movements.

    Everything is movement. In a grand and holistic movement, every movement has its inevitable significance. In this case, then the movement manifested as "doomsday" is meaningful, and the movement manifested as "virus"  It is also meaningful that within these movements there are other movements that are observed and realized, whether they are perceived as "salvation"""" or "struggle", or something else. These meanings are just limited illusions. Their real meaning is that they themselves are a link in promoting the "doomsday", showing the "virus" and other movements.  .

    "No, stop I can't think about it anymore, I can't think about it anymore" The prosthetic body Gao Chuan only felt that a pale and fragile "self" was wailing, which was too grand to be described in words.  To describe it, what you get is nothing more than "twisted principles" thinking. The "Gaochuan" cognition generated by your own self-recognition is so small, so degenerate, and so full of limitations that it is like leaving a  The universe does not want it, but instead embodies itself in a small cardboard box. Moreover, there is no external force forcing itself to shrink into this small cardboard box. What limits itself is only its own narrow and ignorant thoughts.

    The tragic scenes I have witnessed in the past, whether about myself or others, are just false illusions produced in this narrow and ignorant vision. In fact, there is no death, no doomsday, no virus, all that  In essence, it is nothing more than a pure change of movement, just a transformation from one form to another.  The inability to accept this purely objective movement change, and instead being limited to the individual's subjective self, is the culprit that makes one feel despair and pain.

    No one hurt Gao Chuan, it was just Gao Chuan who was hurting himself.

    Nothing is destroying others. The misery we see is just the meaning given subjectively to the objective movement. However, others, as the subject of the objective movement, are not actually being destroyed.

    ¡­¡­

    Perhaps, there is actually no Gao Chuan, no Jiang, no viruses, no mysterious experts, no so-called "humans" and "non-humans".

    The so-called "self" does not exist, and the act of recognizing oneself is wrong.

    "I" does not exist. You, me, and him all do not exist. The perception of dividing boundaries is wrong.

    "A huge huge huge movement, non-stop movement" The prosthetic body Gao Chuan screamed.  He felt that he could hardly bear it any longer. A terrible cognition was erasing him. The world he recognized as a life was deforming, turning into something that even "cold and objective" could not describe.  He didn't want to think that way. He kept struggling to break away from the self-obliterating cognition. He used all the philosophical and dialectical thinking he knew to ridicule the objectivity and emphasize the subjective consciousness.  The meaning of objective things, however, is of no use at all.

    That terrifying cold objective thinking is like the most essential thing, spinning slowly but unstoppably in self-knowledge.  Then, he suddenly understood:

    Only "foolishness" can escape from it.

    Only by not thinking can you escape from such fear, despair and madness.

    "No, no, no! That's not what I think, that's not what I think Let me think about it, let me think about it" The prosthetic body Gao Chuan held his head in pain when his hand touched his head.  , and then suddenly realized that his consciousness had returned to the prosthetic body, or rather, was imprisoned in the prosthetic body. This feeling of imprisonment was so strong, even if he subjectively did not want to think that way.

    When he re-understood what the state of his prosthetic body was like, all his feelings were chaotic, painful and depressing, as if he had been forcibly stuffed into a world from a vast world where he could stretch out.  In a small box the size of your thumb.  However, there is another thought that tries to make myself accept this small box.

    He only felt that he was abusing himself, testing himself, and limiting himself, which made him couldn't help but think: Why do you treat yourself like this?

    Of course the prosthetic body Gao Chuan remembered what he was thinking before things became like this, and what factors prompted him to make his decision.  He clearly remembered what happened until Sanxian Island completely took over the prosthetic body.  He even remembered that he had already prepared himself to fall asleep and not wake up.  However, now that he was sober, he felt even more ignorant of the ignorance he had realized at that time.  He didn't feel like he regretted any of this, but it definitely didn't feel like "this is fine" either.

    The feeling now is not good at all, rather, it is a kind of pain, which is countless times more painful than any experience in the past.  It is not physical pain, nor mental pain, but a kind of pain that comes from the depth of self-knowledge, and is the pain of thought.  As long as you are still thinking, the pain cannot be cut off.

    There are some crazy and unreasonable things that are depriving him of his hope as "Gaochuan".  He seemed to be able to hear the questions deep in his heart. The things visible in front of him, whether they were understandable or not, seemed to be losing their surface form.Revealing an inevitable mechanism, it seemed to be telling him the essence of this movement.  He also saw many hallucinations, each of which involved him melting into a complex and cold movement that could not be described in words.

    "I, I'm melting" Gao Chuan, the prosthetic body, murmured. He looked at the image of the prosthetic body during self-examination. The melting appearance of the prosthetic body, like a candle, seemed to indicate something. Even this kind of melting and deformation  The state did not make him die.

    The prosthetic body Gao Chuan cannot feel his own death, but the madness, fear and despair seem to be intensified to the point of intensification because of this inability to feel his own "death", as if he will have to bear this terrible madness forever.  Living with everything.  He will continue to live in pain until he gives up the behavior of "confining himself" and until he gives up the narrow self-understanding of "Gaochuan".

    The prosthetic body Gaochuan can clearly feel that everything used to maintain his self-recognition as "Gaochuan" is collapsing in an orderly manner, sometimes fast, sometimes slowly, but it will not stop.  When he completely collapsed, he was no longer "Gaochuan", but it was not death, but just transformation, turning into another form and continuing to complete the movement in that form. When he imagined that scene, even if he couldn't imagine it,  When I came out, I also felt a sense of relief, as if the end I most hoped to reach was not to become Super Gaochuan, not to rescue anyone, but to be freed from the responsibilities I had given myself, and to be freed from the narrow "Gaochuan"  transcend the limitations of the cognition.

    Gao Chuan, the prosthetic body, saw that his shape was still changing during the self-test. "Melting" was definitely not the last change. After "melting", a new shape was being generated. It was definitely not a human shape, but it could not be described.  , what kind of shape is that?  The outline of the melted part is not clear, as if it is no longer a hard solid substance, but a wonderful phenomenon like thunder and lightning, but it is by no means a natural phenomenon that can be commonly seen in nature.

    He could feel from this vaguely deformed outline that after he became like that, he could become any kind of image, and he could even change back to the image of "Gaochuan", but there was also something deep in his heart.  The voice everywhere told him that at that time, no matter how consistent his image was with Gao Chuan, he was definitely not "Gaochuan" on the inside, and in fact, he was definitely not "human".

    "I will not die, I am neither born nor disappear, I will only change from one way to another, from one appearance to another, from one movement to another,  Constantly changing changing" the prosthetic body Gao Chuan murmured.

    During this horrific process, the prosthetic body Gao Chuan thought of countless ways to try to maintain himself as he was.  The last straw he finally grasped was also the foundation of Gao Chuan's personality mechanism, the responsibility he imposed on himself.

    Regardless of whether the essence of the subject as "Gaochuan" has this responsibility, when "Gaochuan" is a human being, the core that maintains the personality of each "Gaochuan" is the commitment made by Gaochuan himself.

    "I want to be a hero." The prosthetic body Gao Chuan murmured to himself, and his confused eyes refocused, making his somewhat dilated pupils brighten, and the facial features that had begun to melt gradually reappeared on his face.  Most of the human form of the prosthetic body has melted and deformed, but the last remaining head, before it was completely dissolved and deformed, solidified back again and continued to exist as "Gaochuan's head".

    At this moment, his image is like a gray-black statue with a human head, but the body cannot be shaped. It has no hands or feet, and the torso cannot be distinguished. It is full of distortion, weird and disgusting.
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