What was playing on the TV was a classic English song, "angel" by Sarah McLachlan. ~
About ten years ago, when she was still a girl, this song came to Korea with "City of Angels". That year, she just debuted, right? She was invited to be a model by the fashion magazine "ceci" which was just a few years old at the time.
In the blink of an eye, it has been so long.
The room was very quiet. He left. The wound on his head needed to be treated to avoid leaving scars. Jixiu and Sachiko accompanied him, leaving her sitting alone in the spacious living room, surrounded by the quiet emptiness of singing.
She didn't know if it was because of her previous crying that she vented her unaccumulated anger, or because she couldn't see him anymore and had no one to vent to. She sat alone in silence, listening to the songs on the TV change from noisy dance music to noisy dance music. When it comes to rock music, I see such a lingering and pathos angel again. I want to cry, but my tears can¡¯t come out.
In my mind, I recalled what happened when I first debuted.
Her debut was probably an accident. She was only 19 years old at the time, and she was ignorant, or it would be appropriate to say that she was confused. Others go to school carefree, but she is bored. She seems to have no pursuits of her own. She is confused about what she wants to do every day. She has had such an independent temper since she was a child. When she was still very young, she would listen to her parents. She would do whatever was said to be done, and stay away from whatever was not meant to be done.
As she grew up, she gradually started to make her own decisions and couldn¡¯t make the decision. So one day, a man who claimed to be a talent scout came to her and said that your temperament is very tasteful. How about being a model? "ceci" especially needs rich inner pages of your kind. She agreed in a daze and thought about it later. What a thrill.
After entering the entertainment industry, she gradually understood more and understood how dangerous her hasty agreement was, and how terrible her weakness in character was. If she hadn't been lucky and met a regular talent agency scout, she might have how was it. Many times I wanted to get rid of it, but I had nowhere to start. Instead, I ended up with depression because I kept thinking too much, which was reflected in my emotions. It is anxiety and lack of security.
I don¡¯t want to see a doctor either. Keeping diseases under wraps is probably everyone's fault, including companies. After proving her worth by starring in "Rose and Red Lotus", the company began to use her as a tool to make money. Naturally, it was impossible for her to see a psychiatrist to expose her psychological problems. Instead, she should be packaged as intellectual and elegant. Healthy and low-key image.
that period of time. Regardless of subjective willingness or not, everything can only be suppressed in the bottom of my heart, and the feeling of uneasiness spreads in depression and dullness. As the situation progressed, she began to be reticent and unwilling to interact with people. Only the small world of her residence, the small space that was heavily blocked from the outside world by walls, could make her feel at peace.
Occasionally, I think that if this continues, I will probably be like this for the rest of my life. Maybe one day, I can no longer bear the loneliness of being far away from the world, and quietly end my life like what is shown in the movie.
That was perhaps the first time in her life that she had an opinion, and it was also the most vigorous move.
Thinking about it now, her acquaintance with Junhyuk completely exceeded her predictions for the rest of her life. The first time we met, he was still a newcomer. Apart from his good looks, he didn't leave much impression on her. The company took on the drama "Right" for her. For her, she was going to work. If it was said that it was profound She had the impression that maybe she had suspected that he got into the crew through connections, right?
¡°After all, he was so young, only 18 years old, and he looked unreliable at all. Ha, I later learned that it was just his appearance that was immature. During the preparation of the crew, someone wanted to sabotage the filming, tricked her out and kidnapped her. She was in a coma and didn't know what happened. But when she woke up, she was in a shabby hotel and he was sitting next to her. A few days later, I saw news on the news that the person who had competed with him for the role had been in a car accident. After that, everything went smoothly for the crew.
She is not a fool, and of course she has some guesses about some things. Surprisingly, she never feels scared.
¡°Probably like what my manager sister often said at that time, Lin Xiujing, your brain is broken!
He was obviously dangerous. She didn't even know anything about him except that his name was An Junhe, but she still fell in love with him. She liked him so much. It was like her brain was broken. She would be happy because he was by her side. She would Ignoring the agent's sister's warning, she wore thick clothes and squatted on the roadside to talk to him during the filming break, no matter how cold the weather was.
And once he left, she seemed to have lost her life and was helpless.
In fact, if she thought about it carefully, she was not surprised at all by her behavior at that time. From the moment she met him, or in other words, from the moment she woke up from that coma full of fear and saw his figure sitting behind the sun, the figure behind him Everything is doomed.
She is so lonelyIt has been too long, and I have been wandering in ignorance for so many years, like a wandering planet, traveling lonely and hopelessly in the vast and boundless dark universe. She is a woman after all, just like a planet needs a sun to melt her cold shell like fire. Only then can full life be born.
So she held on tightly, even if he refused, she never gave up.
After they were truly together, she was secretly proud of herself many times. With him, she defeated her own weakness for the first time, but she never thought deeply that if she defeated her own weakness, why did he succumb to her persistence? ?
What should have been noticed a long time ago is that despite his strong appearance, he is actually more vulnerable emotionally. He had been unable to watch her cry while she was immersed in her own sweetness. He never thought that one day, another woman would break into his seemingly tough but actually weak shell?
He should have thought of it He is also a human being and can be soft-hearted, especially a woman like Yoona who has known him for a long time and has occupied a part of his heart. He cannot speak harshly to them or treat them coldly. This has never happened before. Naturally, what happened to her could not happen to Yoona and the others.
"I should have thought of it a long time ago. If it wasn't love, how could a girl be so intimate with a man without any scruples?"
These are all things that should have been thought of long ago
The gentle and lingering melody of "angel" was still reverberating. The shadow pulled in by the sun moved from the west to the center, and then gradually retracted out of the window. She sat quietly like this, thinking quietly, until the light in the living room changed from transparent to bright. Returning to the darkness, a cold feeling surrounded her. The sun outside was baking the earth, but she sat where it couldn't reach it, watching it gradually move away.
I don¡¯t know how long it took, but there were footsteps behind me.
It¡¯s not like they¡¯re back. Chaos¡¯ head seemed to have stopped spinning for a long time before he finally realized that there was someone else in the room!
She turned around, and a few steps behind her, Yoona stood there awkwardly. She had probably just gotten up. The girl's hair was still disheveled, and the bags under her eyes were swollen and red.
She thought she would lose her temper, be as angry, disappointed, sad, and painful as she was when she faced him before. She would scold her, throw everything he could catch at her, and then drive her out of the house in a cool manner. , don¡¯t show any aggrieved gesture at all!
but none¡¡
She just stared at the girl she should hate. She thought her tears had dried up, or were frozen, but they didn't.
"UnnieI'm sorry, I" Yoona looked at her with a sad tone, and suddenly covered her mouth, "I'm sorry"
Amidst the miserable murmur, a trembling sob squeezed out of her throat, and her vision became blurry.
Why is this happeningwhat should I do(To be continued)