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Text Part One: Going East Chapter 7 4

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    In those days, mails and parcels from abroad were subject to inspection as usual. Even if Weiyu sent Li Deyuan the magazine "National Geographic", because it was printed matter, he had to find the recipient for verification after opening it for inspection.  After struggling for a long time, I finally asked Li Deyuan to sign for it and took it back to the training school. The colleagues who attended the class together were quite rare. Everyone passed it around and even the teacher who was in class came over and took a copy back to the podium to read.  .  That night, I was very grateful to Xia Weiyu for his carefulness. He just said a casual word, and the girl remembered it and actually sent such a heavy package.  "You can't send Coke. These magazines are bought at the flea market. They are very cheap. If you like to read them, you can send them." A few very ordinary words, but in Li Deyuan's eyes, they are very precious. In the real world, he  He is in it every moment, but he feels farther and farther away from him, and the network that he originally thought was illusory has a real package coming.  "Thank you very much. I thought I was going to be born, but I didn't expect that I would be hit in the virtual world. Don't you think the address I gave you is fake?" "No, I believe someone can be in the pit.  People who have endured a hard night will not have a pale soul. " "Really? Are you sure you can see that my soul is not pale? We are all from the Beat Generation. I don't even know where I'm going.  What should I do? I¡¯m still trying to comfort you. In fact, I am also a waste. Who defines you as a waste? Your parents? Your boss?  ? " "Look, I'm in my twenties. I'm not happy with my job. I haven't had two girlfriends yet. I think I'm full of books, but I can't get married just because I have a bowl of ramen.  The word "marriage" has six meanings, and it's free for you. What's the use of having so much knowledge? You can't repay the country in the upper class, and you can't find a partner to repay your parents in the lower class. Isn't it useless to be unfaithful and unfilial? " " Reading is to read to others?  Do you want to read it? You want it to be read to others, to people who can appreciate you, to people who know how to appreciate you. After you finish writing 10,000 words, will they understand if you read it to a deaf person or an idiot? "  "I still feel that our generation is finished. The faith that was once so clear is now so blurry that you can't even tell what it is. Without faith, what's the difference between humans and the walking dead?" "Your faith does not mean that it belongs to all mankind.  Faith is like the tide of love. His faith is money and living a good life, and you have to believe in communism, as you said yourself. You think it¡¯s ridiculous, but it¡¯s not even funny at all!  All the white people here believe that communism is the best ideal for all mankind.¡± ¡°No, American imperialism also believes in communism?¡± ¡°You are still bragging that you are fourteen years old.  Now that you have read Das Kapital, look for information on the improvement process of the current social welfare system in the West. Can you see the shadow in Lao Ma Lao'en's book? The system is dead, but the doctrine is alive. Since contradictions are  Existence, and people are alive, as I said, everything has a spirit, so let¡¯s talk about everything being changed. ¡°This woman is so extraordinary!  Li Deyuan had always wanted to enlighten her, but he didn't expect that she would actually touch the part deep in his soul that was about to become petrified!  Since his life gradually calmed down from the factory and the flood of love, his body seemed to be quiet, and Li Deyuan's thoughts were experiencing unprecedented agitation. Those motto-like creeds that had supported him for more than ten years  , are being crushed by reality one by one, the new structure has not yet taken shape, and it becomes a desert in my heart.  ¡°In fact, it¡¯s not just him. The entire generation born in the 1970s is almost the same age as the decadent generation in Europe and America, but the transformation of their spirit and soul and the collapse of their beliefs are similar.  Everyone was born under the red flag and grew up in New China. That fixed growth pattern is instilled in the brains of those born in the 1970s. The motherland is the only spiritual sustenance for which they have to fight and devote themselves. But this motherland has happened  Earth-shaking changes, this change is too dazzling and chaotic!  Li Deyuan's ambition since he was a child was to be the prime minister. It was his dream to be admitted to the National People's University and attend the Foreign Affairs College. However, this dream was shattered in the first half of the first semester of high school. He went to the capital for more than a month and the result was three months after he came back.  The isolation and examination and the handing over of materials dozens of times tortured the dreams of a sixteen-year-old young man to the core.  The most intolerable thing for him was the cold eyes and avoidance of his classmates and teachers. In that summer, apart from his parents, all he had was loneliness. For the first time in his life, he tasted the price paid for his ideals.  In the third year of high school, the head teacher said: "You three can go anywhere during the day, and don't affect other students' studies." Li Deyuan, Lao Hei, and Lao Wei were really stimulated. At that time, they didn't know what it meant to be abandoned by the mainstream.Knowing that this was discrimination and contempt, the three teenagers began to fight back.  During the day, I went to the park next to the wall to endorse. At night, when my classmates had returned to the dormitory, I secretly used wires to connect the electricity from the downline box on the street light pole. Then I jumped into the classroom through the back window and covered the lights with inked newspapers.  I just learned that it was almost dawn before going to the dormitory to go to bed.  In order to enjoy the scene that has evolved countless times in their minds, the three people also agreed that they would only give passing scores in each exam, so that teachers and classmates would not easily detect their secret actions.  After the college entrance examination, the three lagging students who were least favored by their teachers all got admitted to schools with more than two books. Their class teacher did not even go to check the students' scores and send them score slips, and went into hiding.  Since then, Li Deyuan's personality has become more public. The soul and ideals that were suppressed and distorted in high school began to burst out with new vitality as he entered college.  But the impact of the entire era in colleges and universities has not given Li Deyuan the so-called ivory tower life. Before he even stepped out of school, the injustices and ugly appearances that he hated and resented were wrapped around his heart like a layer of rubber.  .  Four years of social and factory life were like hitting Li Deyuan's soul with big sticks again and again. It was not to persuade him to enlightenment, but to drive him back to the entire post-70s generation who accepted his fate and become a normal adult.  , and normal adults do not need faith.  Could it be that Wei Yu traveled across the ocean just to escape?  There was a big question mark in Li Deyuan's mind! "What do you believe in? Did you go out because of weakness or out of anger?" "You yourself said that weakness is a woman's best disguise, and anger can be expressed.  If you are away, why talk about anger?" "I don't think I am ridiculous or pitiful, I just have water in my eyes and can't see the road clearly." "The road has already been in your heart, Hantan, you.  Courage and self-esteem are what shine most in you, don¡¯t give up!¡± Li Deyuan¡¯s eyes suddenly became wet. Even his old man had never said this, and no friend had ever said this. When he was at his most hesitant and cynical,  When he was most unwilling to admit defeat but had no choice but to do anything, he actually saw it in Wei Yu's words.  "Thank you, I have not given up, and I will not give up. I will use another way to prove my worth. Remember that line that is almost worn out, laugh up at the sky and go out. How can I be a Penghao person?  " "Okay, haha, do you look like a worker brother? If you are brave, go to the Monkey Country and take a good look. South Hebei is a well, and the capital is also a well, but if hundreds of wells are connected together, it will become a lake.  Hundreds of well-like hearts connected together become a lake-like heart. You will definitely have a heart like an ocean! " Ocean?  Mountains?  desert?  jungle?  How could I have forgotten these old friends?  Li Deyuan murmured to himself, looking at his hands that had become fairer because he no longer wielded a sledgehammer, and at the leather shoes on his feet. Yes, when the body becomes decadent and compromised, the soul will be corroded!  "That's great! Thank you again! Wei Yu, a good friend and a good buddy! I'll hand you over to you, a landowner girl!" After Li Deyuan excitedly typed a line of words, it was really unexpected, and suddenly his vision went dark, damn!  There's a power outage!  It kept going in the morning and in the evening, but we were chatting happily in the middle of the night when the battery ran out!  </a><a></a>
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