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Free Web Novel,Novel online - All in oicq.net -> Romance -> film master Text Chapter 155 A wonderful joke
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- "I have always said that family comes first, cherish your family and your good friends."
The narration of the God of Wedding resounded throughout the screening room. After the first scene of the story, the audience already knew a situation. Kana¡¯s parents and beautiful best friend Amy did not like Bourne very much, thinking that he was not manly enough and was a Sissy.
¡°Ahhhh!¡±
A screaming sounded, causing the laughter of the audience. The god of the wedding on the screen became a fierce kidnapper and kidnapped all three to a hotel room.
He took Kana¡¯s father¡¯s cell phone and called Bourne, but no one answered. He took Kana¡¯s mother¡¯s cell phone and called again, but no one answered. Finally, he used Amy¡¯s cell phone to call, and the call was connected after a single beep.
"Hi, Amy."
With Byrne¡¯s enthusiastic voice-over, the whole audience burst into laughter. Many girls laughed and cursed, ¡°What a bastard.¡± They didn¡¯t know who they were scolding.
"Bourne, listen, you don't know me, but I just kidnapped your fianc¨¦e's parents and best friend!"
The God of Wedding viciously told Bourne the address and rescue deadline, asking him to rescue them, and he could only do it alone! Otherwise, "I'll kill them all! I won't tell lies." Without waiting for Bourne to answer, he broke off the phone and looked back. The three people behind him all showed horrified expressions.
The next shot is focused on the clock on the wall, and the ticking sound effect indicating the passage of time is ringing.
Nervousness aside, the audience is looking forward to it. Will it be a spoof fight? Shootout? Extraordinary power?
The hands of the clock sped up, and the time showed 8 p.m. The deadline was up, but nothing happened.
When the impatient close-up of the God of Wedding appeared on the screen, the audience couldn't hold back their laughter, and then the panoramic view of the room made the laughter even greater. Kana's father was doing Tai Chi there, Kana's mother was sitting on a chair knitting, and Amy Chatting on the phone with a broken mobile phone, laughing and snoring, creating a leisurely atmosphere.
"I told you a long time ago, he won't come." Kana's father said firmly.
Cana's mother said without raising her head while knitting a sweater: "That boy is a loser. He doesn't dare knock on the door to ask for candy on Halloween. He spends the prom by himself. He rides a horse with his legs sideways and has to squat down to pee. 's little girl."
She said this extremely poisonous long line in one breath, which made the theater laugh uncontrollably.
The God of Wedding snatched the cell phone from Amy, called Bourne again, and asked in a fierce voice: "Are you here?"
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Bourne is drinking and watching the football game in the bar, surrounded by lively scenes, he said strangely: "Uh, I didn't say I was going."
¡°Then I¡¯ll kill them!¡± The camera cut back to the hotel room, and the God of Wedding said angrily.
"No problem, man, just give them a good time. Wait, tell them for me, SEE-YA!"
"Hahahaha!" Bourne's frivolous and cheerful words really made the whole audience laugh. The ones who laughed the most this time were the adults who had been or were married, especially the men. This kind of disrespect to the father-in-law and mother-in-law I really can¡¯t get enough of the irony!
For a bastard like Schwartz, this is the funniest part of the night!
On the big screen, the call was hung up. The God of Wedding was so angry that he folded half of the phone into two pieces. He looked back at the three of them and made a weird thinking expression. The ding sound effect of "Yes!" rang. He said: "You can go, Bourne paid the ransom, he is very rich, he paid twice as much, but he doesn't care, because he is really rich."
"Great!" The three of them suddenly looked happy. They walked out of the room and praised him. Their tone changed 180 degrees. Kana's father said, "I told you a long time ago that Bourne is a good man." Na's mother said: "That boy is a popular figure in school, can ride a horse better than Eastwood, and can pee all the way to China!" Amy said: "Kana is so lucky to marry him!"
Looking up at the camera from a low angle, the God of Wedding has an "I'm so awesome" look and posture, and at the same time a majestic sound effect comes!
It was like a laughter bomb exploded in the screening room. It was the adults who laughed the most and almost applauded, Good-One! Good-One!
Great irony, as Roger Ebert laughed, the number changed again, 21 times.
"Next." The wedding god took out a photo to look at. It showed the annoying, self-righteous, typical school bully-like muscular man Carter, Kanna's ex-boyfriend!
The audience had just begun to look forward to what would happen. Before the scene completely transitioned on the screen, the sound of fear was already heard.
The sea, tropical rainforest, isolated island beach, crabs!
The effect is really good! Gia praised in her heart, of course these are the later stagesEmpty shots from commercial material libraries were purchased during production. The crew did not have the money to go to an isolated island to shoot exterior scenes.
"Woo, woo" Looking down at the camera, Carter's mouth was stuffed with a rag, his hands and feet were tied together with rope, and he was thrown on the beach.
The laughter that had stopped for a few seconds started again, and the back of the wedding god's body poked in from below the frame, with no expression visible, a very oppressive lens format.
"I'm kind-hearted by nature." His voice sounded, and he switched to a frontal shot. You couldn't see anything above the neck, and you could only see two volleyballs in his hands, with funny and weird smiley faces painted on them with red paint, "So I¡¯ll give you two, one white and one colored, both are equally good.¡±
This is obviously a spoof of "Cast Away". Looking at those two cheap smiling faces, the audience will laugh until their stomachs hurt again.
But some people also noticed this line, hey!
¡°You are being racist, white is also a color!¡± Carter suddenly spoke, and it turned out that the rag did not plug his mouth at all.
"Really? Okay, I admit you, okay?"
"That's pretty much it."
Irony, huge irony! It wasn't hilarious, but there was a self-deprecating chuckle in the audience regardless of skin color.
In the past, white racists divided people on earth into white people and people of color, but now this division is no longer politically correct. If a white public figure openly calls a non-white person a person of color, public opinion will definitely say that he is. Racist, sorry! Especially when it offends black people.
So Ye Wei said this kind of racial joke because he is Asian and it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay for a black man to jokingly call himself a nigger. It¡¯s okay for a Jew to call himself a miser. But when other people say it, big trouble will happen.
This joke is still based on those famous jokes about White and Color. White is not a color? Besides, white people who are pink when they are born, white when they grow up, red in the sun, cyan when they are cold, yellow when they are afraid, green when they are sick, and gray when they die, call others people of color?
If everyone has skin color and you don¡¯t, who is the monster?
Saying that the people being discriminated against are white people is a kind of ridicule, a kind of irony, and a kind of heavy humor, which adds a different kind of light to this film.
Movie critics knew that these lines would become classics. Albert remembered it 22 times, and his enthusiasm was even higher. In this section, the kid was obviously interested in doing some deep satire, and he did a good job. This is something you rarely see in spoof movies. If you have such awareness at the age of 16, you have a promising future!
"I wish you a nice day, bye." On the big screen, the God of Wedding dropped two volleyballs and disappeared in the next second, and the majestic sound effects rang again!
The two volleyballs just landed on Carter's chest, forming a strange sight. The audience burst into laughter, and they didn't know where to throw the slightly serious thing just now.
The camera rose far, and I saw a small island in the vast sea.
"Help¡ª¡ª! Somebody-Help¡ª¡ª!"
"Hahaha!" His shrill cry for help was only met with greater laughter.
The cry for help ended, and a confident narration sounded: "What is the biggest enemy of women? Romance! It can make them lose their heads, change their names, and make them do anything you want! My friends, remember Live this truth, romance.¡±
The next few scenes were very relaxed and there were no surprises. With the help of the god of weddings, Bourne kept turning decay into magic. A small bouquet of roses originally sent to Kana turned into a full painting. The frames were full, and the poor-quality reproduction of special effects made the audience angry; Bourne's candlelight dinner originally only had a few small candles, but when they sat down at the table, the whole table burned!
Everything is so luxurious and romantic! Kana was moved. In the light of the fire, she and Bourne said I love you to each other. She obviously wanted to get married again.
The story of the film has reached this point, and it has also reached the so-called midpoint. The middle of the 90 minutes is exactly 45 minutes. The midpoint of a commercial feature film always looks like one of two things. One is that everything is fine and the protagonist seems to have won. The other one is extremely bad, and the protagonist seems to have lost. Both of them seem to be ending.
Like now, Kana has changed her mind and the two of them successfully held their wedding, otherwise it would be over.
But there is another half to the film! How?
No matter 45 minutes, 60 minutes, or 90 minutes, the midpoint means there are new changes, completely shattering the world in the first half, and the characters are facing the biggest crisis of the story!
Just like in "The Last of Us", the captain fainted due to food poisoning and there was no one piloting the plane; in "Planes, Trains and Automobiles", the two protagonists Neil Page and Dale Griffiths had a falling out.After that, everyone started walking home.
It¡¯s not just a comedy, it¡¯s like the classic romantic love between a poor boy and a rich girl in ¡°Titanic¡± where Jack and Rose drew nudes and had sex. The protagonist seems to have won! However, sorry, that was just the midpoint, boom, the Titanic hit an iceberg!
"Hehehe, hehehehe!"
At this time, a new voice-over appeared. The audience could tell that it was still the voice-over done by Ye Wei, but it was very rough and had an evil aura.
Who is it? Everyone was quite curious, and the screen transitioned to a girl's room. The camera panned over the bedside table. There was a photo of Kana and Bourne on it. Kana's room!
The camera finally focused on a black stuffed bear in the corner. Its hands and feet suddenly moved a few times, and its voice said: "I feel it. Kana wants to get married again, but I won't let her be happy" "
The picture ripples, the brisk music plays, and a flashback montage appears:
A little girl bought two brown stuffed bears, one big and one small, from a toy store. She smiled sweetly; the little girl put them on the bedside of the room; the two stuffed bears loved each other; the little girl hugged them. Playing; in the morning, the big stuffed bear looked out of the room window, watching the little girl get into the car with the little stuffed bear and leave; in the evening, the car came back, the little girl got out of the car, but did not bring back the little stuffed bear!
The music turned sad, the big stuffed bear turned black, and changed into an angry expression! In the next scene, it becomes a disciple of a toy puppet that looks like Master Yoda; it learns to use the Force and knocks Master Yoda away with a wave of its hand; it begins to wreak havoc on Kana's date.
When Bourne proposed to Kanna, it turned out that it was Kanna who stood on the street and waved and used the Force, so that the ring fell into the drain so accurately.
It turns out that it was always because of its mischief that Kanna and Bourne were in constant misfortune!
"Ha ha ha ha!"
Although there are spoofs of "Toy Story" and "Star Wars", the quality of this montage is very good and makes the audience laugh. Now the wedding god is in trouble!
Movie critics are also laughing. If this is a serious movie, it would be very bad to have two completely different powers. It will cause "Why doesn't the God of Wedding know the existence of ragdoll bears?" Should I just destroy it?" and other logical questions, but this is a spoof movie! No problem, except that the story of "Wedding Day is Coming" is even more absurd.
The biggest villain appears! The story doesn't end.
When the flashback ended, we actually returned to the desert island scene. The stuffed bear slowly flew down from the sky. It was obviously suspended by a few hanging wires, but it didn't stop everyone from laughing. The previous shots of it were useless. "Sesame Street" doesn't have any special effects.
Carter on the beach was full of surprise. What was funny was that he already had messy long hair and a long beard. He was bronzed, naked from the waist up, and only wearing animal skin shorts, as if he had spent more than ten years on a desert island. Year.
The Ragdoll Bear waved his hand, and the two volleyballs placed on the wooden stakes behind Carter exploded with a BOOM¡ª¡ª
"Marilyn! Audrey!" Carter screamed.
"Hehehehe!" At the same time, the stuffed bear let out a string of evil laughter.
And the screening room in front of the screen was already a sea of ??laughter!
24 times. The latest on Albert Numbers.
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