At my home in Hainan, on the open-air balcony, after coaxing Fanfan to sleep, I sat alone on the rocking chair, looking at the light rain falling outside, my eyes blank. Nearly half a month has passed, and I have tried hard and failed again and again, trying to adjust to a good state, and trying to grit my teeth and continue living, but the vague shadow of Liu Di pops into my mind all the time. People are complex emotional animals, and their minds are composed of countless emotions. When we enter adulthood, we will actively look for the opposite sex, so falling out of love is inevitable. Wang Mumu always enlightens everyone who has experienced broken love in this way: "Don't treat it like it's going to kill you. After breaking up, no one has failed in love. Who do you show your donkey face every day?" Ah, no one has ever failed, but people who are lovelorn always have one thought. Often after separation, they will subconsciously say to themselves, maybe, we still have the possibility of getting together. Countless times of enlightenment, slowly Slowly get through the difficult period, thereby achieving mental forgetfulness. But what should I do? Liu Di is dead. What reason can I use to comfort myself and get out of this circle? A lifelong regret. It can¡¯t be made up for in a lifetime. ¡°For the rest of my life, I will live with the big hands of guilt pinching my throat. No one can tell me how bad I feel. My soul was beaten by the despairing emotions, wandering in the sky tiredly, but with nowhere to rest. "Pa." I lit a cigarette and looked at the city that had entered midnight. Everything here was silent, the rain washed away the dust of the city, and the moon was covered by dark clouds. I was like a tired bird imprisoned, buried here, I will die alone here. "Beep." The phone lit up on the desktop, pulling me out of my dazed state. I paused, picked up the phone and picked up the phone numbly. "Hello." My hoarse voice sounded. "!" There was unusual silence on the other end of the phone, without a sound. I picked up the phone and looked at the number again. It was a landline number, and the area code was 0434, the area code of SP City. By this time, I already knew who was calling. "Are you okay?" "Are you okay?" After a long period of silence, a female voice on the phone and I asked at the same time, followed by another awkward silence. "How are you, Fanfan?" the woman on the phone asked, biting her red lips. "Already asleep." I glanced at Fanfan, who was naked and sleeping sweetly through the floor-to-ceiling window, and replied. "Yeah." The woman on the other end of the phone seemed to not know what to say. "If nothing happens, I'll hang up." I gritted my teeth and said to the phone with trembling lips. I didn't know how I should face her. "I thought you would look for me, I have been waiting." "If I really look for you, I must kill Hong Tao first." My eyes were red and I gritted my teeth. "For her." Hong Xin paused and asked in a calm voice. "She is a woman who does not belong to this circle. If it were not for Hong Tao, she would not have died. Why is Hong Tao involved in every incident? Why." I asked in a low voice. "You fell in love with her." Hong Xin asked again without mentioning Hong Tao. "." I was stunned by the question. "What about me." "I loved you." I bit my lip, tears flashing down my face. "But I haven't fucking loved you before, I've always loved you." Hong Xin stared at her big, lifeless eyes, her white neck was bulging with blue blood vessels, she clenched her little fists, and shouted hysterically. "Then what do you want?" My mind was in chaos. "When you ask that, I don't think about anything else." Hong Xin's voice became much calmer, but there was no trace of emotion. "I betrayed you emotionally." I said slowly. "Meeting, falling in love, having children, being a single mother, wandering alone abroad, Meng Fei, I, Hong Xin, have given you every first time in my life, but I have never regretted it. From that winter when you drove to save me, from Bruce Bar, you and I were hungover until dawn. I thought that together you and I defeated the family, the long period of imprisonment, and the long wait. Until today, I suddenly discovered that it was not you and me who were ill-fated, but me. For the rest of my life, I will not live for anyone but my son." Hong Xin held an umbrella and stood next to a magnetic card phone on a certain street in SP, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes and biting her lip. The call was disconnected. ??A pair of former lovers, or husband and wife, were raped by NanThe two places are separated, the rain washes away the silent and cold city, and the sky is covered with dark clouds, seeming to echo each other thousands of miles away. I looked at the black screen of my mobile phone. I had a splitting headache and pain in my eyes again. Ever since Liu Di left, for some reason, my eyesight was getting worse and worse, as if I was about to go blind. "Pop." Xinxin pushed away the magnetic card phone booth. Door, her cheeks were pale, as if she had lost her soul, and she walked forward numbly. The door was narrow and the umbrella was stuck in the door. Xinxin let go without knowing it, and the umbrella fell to the ground. "Boom." Thunder suddenly sounded in the sky. "Whoosh." The cold rain instantly penetrated Xinxin's clothes. Her two long arms hugged her shoulders. The biting coldness from the inside out seemed to freeze the beating flame. With tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, she walked with difficulty in the storm, like a child who had lost everything and was homeless. Loneliness doesn¡¯t mean those days when one person has nothing to say, but that there are countless people walking and shuttling on the street, but there is no one to talk to. This kind of loneliness is scary from the bottom of your heart. In the past, Hong Xin didn¡¯t think that being alone, with a birthday cake and two dishes and chopsticks was lonely when she was waiting for me to be released from prison. ¡°Bang.¡± The door of a Land Rover popped open in the distance. Hong Tao was wearing a half-sleeved T-shirt and carrying a raincoat in his hand. He walked over slowly, wiped the rain off his face, looked at Hong Xin and asked softly: "Why don't you call at home." "I won't call again. "It's gone." With her hair stuck to her cold and pale face, Xinxin looked down at her feet soaked in the rain and said lightly. "You still have me and dad." "Brother, am I really wrong?" Hong Xin's aggrieved voice was so heart-wrenching. She was questioning the past, our past. "Go home." Hong Tao sighed, put a raincoat on Hong Xin, put his generous arms around her weak shoulders, and walked towards the Land Rover.