Another year has passed! "The mental retardation ink still hasn't finished writing about the devil. The book friends around me come and go, and come and go. After several reincarnations, I suddenly looked back and realized that this book is still living in the dim light. Because the ink update is too slow, this book has not been completed for four and a half years. (From August 2013 to now, it really is four and a half years, right? It can¡¯t be wrong in such a simple calculation!) In the long update, this book has poured the youth of ink, and it must also be accompanied by the youth of some book friends. . There is obviously a festive New Year atmosphere around me, but for some reason, what comes to mind is not the happy memories, but the despair I felt when I first wrote this book. That year, in the ward where my grandma was in a coma, the doctor asked the family members whether they wanted to continue to maintain breathing or give up by extubation. Want to give up? I saw my mother, uncle, and uncle all crying and all silent. No one wanted to give up, but they were too weak. Everyone was weighed down by the burden of life. No one dared to go bankrupt to let grandma live a few more days. . At that time, I was very hateful and hated why they didn¡¯t spend all their money to treat my grandma. If the treatment continued, there might be a one-in-a-million chance, or a million-to-one hope. But when I realized how difficult life was, I When they woke up, they were equally desperate and regretful when they were silent. At that time, my uncle was unemployed and at home; my mother opened a small store that recharged phone bills and earned only one thousand yuan a month; my brother-in-law's job only paid one to two thousand, and he didn't even own his own house until he was middle-aged, and he still lived with his grandmother. together. They are not the rich people who spend a lot of money in CEO stories and TV series, nor are they the protagonists in novels who sacrifice all the world to love one person. They are just ordinary people, people of flesh and blood, people who are obviously weak but strong enough to support a family. In the end, they did not remove the tube, but they had no money to continue treatment. So I was discharged from the hospital, bought an oxygen bottle and went home to deliver oxygen, so my grandma left. Before my grandmother¡¯s death, my uncle cried heartbreakingly. If I hadn¡¯t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn¡¯t have believed that a normally arrogant man would cry like a fool. I think that at that time, my uncle was probably the most sad and regretful person. I hate my own ordinaryness, I hate my own weakness, I hate my own powerlessness. We are all too weak. I was still a bit of a middle school student at that time, so I thought so. Compared to my incompetent uncle and others, I couldn't even spend a hundred yuan to save my grandma. So I secretly vowed that even if I wrote a small H article, even if I went down a dark road, I would still earn a little royalties to support my family. It is precisely because of the instillation of this secondary mood and the early plot of the demon that Ning Fan becomes such a stubborn young man. His childish and imperfect character is actually just a microcosm of the author. Therefore, Zhimo was not called this title at the beginning. It was just a small H novel. At that time, Ink was just a novice author who did not know how to foreshadow the plot. There was no book on the shelf, and his writing skills were limited. At that time, when I saw someone commenting on the book review section, I was as happy as a fool. (Later on, I didn¡¯t dare to read the book review section. I was timid and afraid of seeing negative comments.) At that time, my back disease was getting worse, and my only hope was to write a book. (The back problem has basically healed now. Apart from not being able to exercise strenuously, there is nothing serious.) Even if my back hurts so much that I can¡¯t walk, I still have to grit my teeth and walk. At that time, I could walk for ten minutes on a 100-meter walk. I stopped several times and sat on the roadside. (Now I can walk several kilometers at a stretch without gasping for breath!) At that time, no one thought that I could make money by writing books, and even I didn¡¯t really believe it. But at that time, besides writing books, I had no other way to make money. (Now I have basically entered the primary stage of socialism!) This is my last chance, and I am eager to seize it. I actually don¡¯t really love writing. I had a headache when I was writing essays in middle school. I just have to do it. My loved ones are leaving one by one, and I don¡¯t want to be so hopeless and helpless anymore. Yes, that¡¯s right, Ning Fan, who is a bit middle-class and a bit extreme, is my original intention in writing. "Being sad about one's own weakness and never bowing to fate is the purpose of this book. ¡°Later I understood, no matter whether it is my uncle, my brother-in-law, or my mother, any ordinary person in this world is good, and no one is weak. Everyone is gritting their teeth and living. If they fulfill their responsibilities, even if they are poorer or mediocre, they cannot be considered weak. The new year is here again, and I would like to thank those book friends who have accompanied me in the past, and even more grateful to the book friends who are still accompanying me today. Happy New Year! Don¡¯t forget your original intention!