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Text Lin Meizhou¡¯s expectations (some content may cause discomfort)

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    As soon as He Xinliang and Cao Ziye walked out of Chi's house, I was dragged underground by Mr. Chi.  "Let me go!" I kept struggling: "I don't know why Cao Ziye followed! I tried my best!" "Hehehe," Mr. Chi tied me to the long bed in the basement: "I didn't say anything  Am I punishing you for what happened to Cao Ziyeor does Mei Zhou think that I should punish you for what happened to Cao Ziye?" I was speechless.  "Mr. Chi! Trust me again!" I cried and begged him: "Let me go! I will definitely bring He Xinliang back next time!" The muscles on Mr. Chi's face trembled unnaturally: "I  I know that a little bitch like you will never tell me the truthDo you think I will still believe you?" "Hehehe, Meizhou, open your mouth and bite it." Mr. Chi held a white one.  The towel said: "Don't let me do it, I'm afraid I will hurt you." I opened my mouth little by little, and my upper and lower teeth bumped unconsciously out of fear.  Mr. Chi impatiently opened my mouth with his hands and roughly stuffed the towel in.  His eyes moved around my body, he picked up the scissors on the side and cut open my pants bit by bit.  The nakedness of my lower body made me embarrassed and tears kept falling from my eyes.  Tears fell onto the leather bed beneath her. In the quiet basement, the sound of water drops made people's scalp numb.  "Hahaha," Mr. Chi frowned and looked at my lower body: "Meizhou, as a girl, how can you be so dirty?" Mr. Chi picked up the razor and gently and carefully shaved the hair on my lower body.  clean.  The thick hair curled and fell down, sticking to the inner thighs, causing a slight itching feeling.  "Hehehe, Meizhou, have you seen those models on the wall?" Mr. Chi's eyes were shining, and his face turned pink unconsciously: "We will make one today and put yours on it too.  !¡± I looked at him with pleading eyes, but he had no intention of sparing me.  In the basement, time seems to have stood still.  I closed my eyes and endured Mr. Chi¡¯s fingers on my lower body, applying the material over and over again.  Putting up with him took a toll on my body and mind.  Enduring the torture brought about by life.  Endure the expectation that death brings.  "Hahaha, Meizhou, look at it." Mr. Chi handed the model to me: "Look at it this way, doesn't it look much cleaner?" The thing that I was most afraid of didn't happen unexpectedly Mr. Chi was relieved  Opening the shackles that bound my hands and feet: "Go upstairs and sleep! He Xinliang, keep an eye on her for me. It's not just a day or two, maybe not even a year or two Meizhou, next time, if you still don't  If you satisfy me, I will punish you severely." I got off the bed and fell to the ground with my legs paralyzed.  Mr. Chi ignored me and wiped the white dust off his hands.  I stared at the razor on the table, thinking about how to cut through his artery.  "Hehehe, little girl, don't think about doing stupid things." Mr. Chi turned around and went out: "If I were you, I would think about how to be obedient." Mr. Chi recited poetry as he walked: "Who is crying somewhere in the world right now?  Crying for no reason in the world is crying for me. Who is laughing for no reason in the world at this moment? I am laughing for no reason in the world I actually know what Qin Shuang does.  Maybe I saw too many such women at my biological father's place, so I could recognize Qin Shuang's profession at a glance.  "Meizhou," Qin Shuang said seductively, "I have a good job to introduce to you. Are you interested in taking a look?" "Okay!" I was not as cold as before: "There is a profitable job.  Are you okay? When can you take me there? " Qin Shuang seemed to have encountered such a deceptive master for the first time: "Mei Zhou, do you want to go with me? " Sooner or later, my innocence will be taken away by Mr. Chi.  If this is the case, it is better to sell yourself and get some money, and be more willing to do so.  Maybe it¡¯s because I was trained by Mr. Chi, but I didn¡¯t feel nervous at all about the scenes in the KTV.  After entering the box, I got myself drunk as fast as possible.  It¡¯s good to be drunk, but when you¡¯re drunk, you won¡¯t remember anything.  The more I drink, the clearer my mind becomes Because it is so clear, I clearly remember everything He Xinliang did for me.  She was scolded and beaten for me.  She fought tooth and nail to protect my innocencethe innocence that I originally planned to sell.  When I came out of the KTV, I burst into tears.  He Xinliang has been comforting me. She thinks I am?It was scary, she thought I was being scammed, she thought I was innocentI was so ashamed.  For his own weakness, for his own deception.  I'm ashamed.  At that time, I liked Li Xiaoyi very much, very enthusiastically.  At first, I just liked him because of his appearance.  Tall, handsome, sunny, humorous Such emotions are what I lack, and they are also what I yearn for.  And what made me completely fall in love with Li Xiaoyi was what he said to me in the ward.  "Meizhou, you are a good girl I like your character very much, but unfortunately I don't like your gender. I like men, and we are not suitable." Li Xiaoyi's words shocked me. If I was obsessed with him before, then  From then on, my feelings for him can be considered as worship.  He likes men and dares to admit it openly.  My stepfather is a pervertwhat am I afraid of admitting?  Just when I was about to completely break up with Mr. Chi, he took out a report from the hospital and handed it to me: "Hahaha, Meizhou, do you ever feel that the woman we love together sometimes looks like Mrs. Chi?  Sometimes she looks like your mother?" Mr. Chi looked at me happily and said, "Yes, that woman, your mother, is a schizophrenic Do you think I should divorce her?"  The report sheet in my hand was shaking: "What do you mean by that?" "Hehehe," Mr. Chi sat on the chair and shook his legs leisurely: "If you want your mother to receive proper treatment,  and a good living environment, I think you should pay me back from now on." I didn't say anything.  Mr. Chi threw over a stripper's skirt. He raised his chin slightly and said, "Go, put it on." I accepted the skirt resignedly, feeling dead in my heart.  After changing clothes quickly and returning, Mr. Chi walked out from behind the desk.  He held an Italian mask with weird eye makeup in his hand: "Put it on Since you are so eager to sell yourself, then I can help you sell it for a good price." I followed him out obediently, and then followed him obediently.  He got into the car.  Mr. Chi did not bring a driver, so he drove me all the way south, and finally stopped in front of an abandoned factory in the south of the city.  The abandoned factory was covered with green vines. When I got closer, I could feel the moisture emitting from the walls on my bare skin.  This used to be a cement factory, but it was abandoned due to some resource pollution problems.  After several twists and turns, the property rights somehow fell into the hands of Mr. Chi.  There is a special person guarding the factory entrance, so Mr. Chi¡¯s arrival will naturally not be subject to interrogation by security personnel.  We went down the stairs and passed through a wide and straight corridor.  On the walls with peeling paint, the words "safe production" can be seen everywhere.  Mr. Chi took me underground, although it was still old and damp.  But the layout is much newer The walls are covered by dark blue velvet fabric, and corresponding large beds are placed behind each gauze curtain.  Among the many shadows, the intertwined figures of men and women are vaguely visible.  There was erotic music playing in the room, and the moans from all around were completely muffled.  I thought I was ready, but seeing this scene, I still couldn¡¯t help but want to regret it.  "Hehehe," Mr. Chi seemed to have guessed what was in his mind. He said coldly: "You still have time to regret it now." Mom I shook my head, and the feathers on the mask kept shaking: "I  No regrets." Mr. Chi didn't say much. He pulled me across a bed and went to the innermost private room.  There was a man sitting on the bed inside, wearing a mask like me.  "My wife can't comebut I brought my daughter, a fresh, young body." Mr. Chi smiled and pushed me in: "Hehehe, enjoy it." Between the man and Mr. Chi  Under the pressure, my legs and feet became weak and I fell to the ground.  The mask on my face fell to the ground with my movements. The man on the bed saw my face clearly, paused slightly, and said, "Thank you, Mr. Chi. Please go out and close the door for me." The man in the room should be old.  In middle age, his voice sounded very familiar It seemed that I had heard it somewhere in school.  Mr. Chi shrugged and politely closed the door when he went out.  The man in the room came closer to me little by little, and I couldn't hide the fear in my heart, so I kept stepping back in panic.  Until I could no longer retreat, I began to tear the few pieces of fabric on my body in despair and excitement.  When the man saw what I was doing, he suddenly stretched out his hand to stop me: "Little girl, you are about the same age as my daughter. I will not do anything to you."??¡± Seeing that my eyes were still wary and frightened, he let go of his hand and sat next to me against the wall. His voice behind the mask was gentle and elegant: ¡°I am also surprised that I will do this in this life.¡±  Things of conscience.  " I said in a hoarse voice: "Thank you, you are a good person.  "The man shook his head: "I don't touch you, and it's not because of my conscience.  I do it for myself, I'm afraid my daughter will blame me.  I'm not a good person, never have been.  When I was a child, I started lying, all kinds of lies.  As I grew up, I became even worse and raped the woman I loved most.  Even though I knew she didn't love me at all, I still raped her.  " "She gave me a daughter Someone killed her. For my own sake, I can only pretend that nothing happened.  After that, I did many, many terrible things.  Every thing is scarier than what you saw today As expected, I am good at lying. When I was a child, I lied to adults. When I grew up, I lied to people Because I lied well, I became a  The most powerful politician.  "I couldn't understand what he was talking about, but the emotion he conveyed to me was extremely sad. He told me a lot about the pranks he made when he was a child, the dark thoughts he had when he grew up, and how he was almost  How to harm people The sky went from dark to slightly bright, and he kept talking all night. In the end, there was only a long sigh, and I tried to comfort him and said: "Uncle, follow me.  Than, you are really much better.  At the very least, you have the courage to change me?  Just accept your fate.  "The masked uncle smiled: "You are still too young, it is really too early to accept your fate.  " I don't understand what he said, although I think he is comforting me But having expectations is much better than nothing. " I have always wanted to find a way of life that makes me happier, but life keeps getting worse and worse.  It was developing in a bad direction. When I almost killed myself, I began to realize that death is a terrible process. The attachment to life and the fear of death drove me to long for transformation and rebirth.  One day when my mother was in a normal state of mind, she forced me to leave: "Meizhou, don't think about me anymore!  You go!  Don¡¯t tell me where you¡¯re going!  If you tell me, I will tell Mrs. Chi Meizhou, I didn't protect you I'm not worthy of being your mother.  "  I looked around at the second-hand old furniture in the house, which seemed to still have the smell of the previous owner. The smell of people in the house sometimes made my heart feel empty and sometimes warm. This is Longyearbyen, this is  No one knows my northern city. This is the starting point of my life, and it will also be the end of my life. I came here because I heard people say that people will not rot after death because of the cold climate.  It's not rottenthen there will be no reincarnation, right? I am still timid, so timid that I no longer have the courage to start the painful reincarnation again. The balcony door was blown open by the north wind, so I hugged my shoulders and walked away.  I went out. Facing the wind, I quietly read the second half of the poem that Mr. Chi read back then. "Who is walking somewhere in the world at this moment? Walking towards me for no reason."  Who is dying somewhere in the world at this moment, dying for no reason in the world, looking at me.  " My relatives, friends, lovers I am looking at you from the northernmost place in the world and blessing you. Waiting for you to come to me again and look at me. Just like at the beginning. Just like at the end.
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