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Nickname: Fengjian Youyue
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Worry about the moon in the wind
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I don¡¯t know if God is testing me. Whenever I do something important, various difficulties always arise, leaving me wandering between various choices.
Last month, even though I tried hard to save, the total of various expenses still amounted to more than 1,000. My personal meal accounted for more than 700, part of which was spent on dining with friends. Although I can usually eat instant noodles and rice noodles, I am still unambiguous when my friends come over to treat me, and I try my best to entertain them well.
Prices in Beijing are really too high. I found that supermarkets often offer fake discounts, and bundling two items for sale is still about the same as the original total price of the two items. Many things are slightly increased in price and then sold at a discount, which is really unethical
I didn¡¯t succeed in buying the house at home, but I still have to do my best to save money. The economy is indeed a bit tight this month. I borrowed 600 yuan a few days ago and scraped together enough money to top up the starting currency again.
??Rough calculation, over the past few days, I have recharged a total of more than 4,000 yuan in starting coins. It also made up for my bad move, and the money also offset the 3,600 yuan minimum living security deposit I received.
Now I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Actuallyit feels really bad to owe someone else.
My writing status has been very poor recently. I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s because I haven¡¯t written regularly in the past year or because I¡¯m too tired from work. In short, I haven¡¯t persisted in writing during this time.
Although going to work every day is indeed very tiring, and the most important thing is that I am too tired, but I feel that this is not the most important reason.
These days, when I go to work every day and when I get off work, I always tell myself to write well. But once I sit down on the chair and my hands touch the computer, I always involuntarily open the news network and open newer novels. After reading them, I feel mentally and physically tired. Give yourself an excuse to go out for a walk and buy something. However, I felt tired again. I looked at the time and saw that it was already evening and I was about to need a rest, so I read news and novels again and fell asleep.
I was in good spirits in the morning. When I wasn't working the morning shift, I stayed at the bank after waking up. When it opened at 9 o'clock, my eyes felt very uncomfortable. I made an excuse to go out for a walk. When I came back, I felt tired again. I think I have to go to work soon, so I¡¯d better take a nap! It's like this every time
? Continuing the habit of laziness, I always find excuses to leave things to be done today until tomorrow, and tomorrow to the day after tomorrow. From 10 years ago to now
I am a bank security guard, and my official working hours are theoretically only 4 hours. But you can leave temporarily from waking up at 7 a.m. to around 6 p.m. I have to stay in the bank half the time every day, and I am very boring.
There are only two security guards in the security room of the small bank, and we talk about few topics. During this time in Beijing, I feel that every day is eating, going to work, resting, eating, going to work, resting, getting off work, eating, surfing the Internet, and sleeping. Rarely talk! Very little communication! ¡
There are actually many people in the bank, but we are all working. Among them, I am a security guard, and they have better jobs than them. Although some people don't want to admit it, the fact is that once your work status is not as good as the other person's, they will rarely take you seriously, treat you as an equal, and be willing to devote some of their energy to you.
I am very aware of my current situation. Since 2007, most of the time now, I have never spoken more than 50 sentences a day. In the past, I would go for a walk when I was tired, and read and write seriously when I was awake. Until the beginning of this year, maybe I had read enough novels, maybe I was already familiar with most of the common sense things in this world, and my thirst for knowledge became smaller. I found that I no longer had enough energy and patience to concentrate on searching for those novels and materials, and I spent no time sleeping or eating to pay attention to them. I know that all the basic information I need for writing has been met, and it is time for me to take action on my efforts of the past five years.
But, in daily life, I am very lonely, very lonely. Living in a small security room of about fifteen meters, I spent most of my time in the bank every day. The scenery that never changed day and night stimulated my eyes and made my mind infinitely tired. The things I have to do every day remain the same, as if I am in this endless boring cycle, and I feel really uncomfortable inside.
I clearly realize that if I want to change everything now, I can only change my mentality. When I changeOnly when you have a good attitude can you write with peace of mind, and only then can you relax your mind and slowly communicate with others. Only in this way can your life be colorful. In fact - most of my current life is caused by my own reasons.
The boring life makes me uncomfortable. Without communication, I go to and from the supermarket every day. I buy some snacks when I am bored and drink a bottle of beer when I am irritable In fact, loneliness makes me gain weight.
Since the New Year, I have lost interest in most novels. I was very depressed after losing time to kill myself, and I felt like committing suicide many times. The solution every time is to eat hot pot and drink beer.
hehe! Is my life a failure? I think so sometimes.
Being a security guard is a leisurely job, a boring job, and a job that coexists with loneliness. Over the past year, my colleagues have changed one after another. I treat people very sincerely, whether they are people I like or people I hate, and I feel bad every time they leave.
"To be together is fate, and to be apart is destiny." No matter what your mentality is, what should happen will still happen. For friends who are very close to each other and have to leave, I can only wish them well despite being reluctant to leave. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s a compliment or a sarcasm? Their words when parting were surprisingly similar. Whether it was my distant cousin or the senior captain, they advised me not to be too kind to others in the future. People who are too kind will always I can only understand part of these words now, but I still can't change this aspect of my personality. Maybe kindness is what I really need to preserve forever!
Everyone has their own dreams and ideals. Once they lose their dreams and ideals, they will always be ordinary. It's the same for me. If I don't have dreams and ideals, then my life will be dull and without passion, just like ordinary people. This isn't really what I want.
I want everyone to be equal; I want the world to be fair and just; I want human beings to live in harmony, be tolerant and kind; I want the world to be filled with kindness and kindness¡ªand happiness forever. This is my dream, this is my ideal, this is what I really want and what I will work hard to achieve. This is my mission brought about by my dreams and ideals. I cannot forget it. I cannot forget it.
??Every person born in this world has their own mission. This is something they have to face throughout their lives, and it is the source of their true happiness. Me too, I won¡¯t forget, and I don¡¯t want to doubt it.
The fruit of dreams is sweet and beautiful. It can comfort our souls, heal our wounds of setbacks, give us miraculous power, and change our destiny. If we persist in our dreams, miracles will always happen. Even if we have failed, suffered setbacks, been ridiculed, and been oppressed, there is still a shining brilliance in our hearts, which will accompany us until success comes. I have already seen the success in the future. Miracles are not accidental, they are inevitable. I firmly believe that that moment will come, and I am here to bear witness to the success of the novel "Hate the World".
May 20, 2011 22:53:46
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