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Boyhood (2) Chapter 119 Flowers bloom and fade

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    Hanwen stood up and was about to leave. Wu Mengqin wiped away his tears quickly, took Hanwen's hand and said, "Let's sit down for a while! I haven't talked to you enough yet! Who else are you going to give New Year greetings to when you're in a hurry to leave?"  He quickly took his hand from hers and said, "I have to go to Hao Jun to pay New Year's greetings. He is waiting at home."

    She looked at her watch and begged: "It's only three o'clock, please sit down for a while. I'll let you go at four o'clock. There are so many students in the class, so I can only tell you what's on my mind." He said a little maliciously:  "Aren't you on good terms with that soldier? Why don't you confide in him?"

    She knew he was sarcastic about her, clasped her hands in her arms and said, "It's what you say, forget it. If someone else said that, I would slap him. Although the soldier is four or five years older than us, he is also a raw melon."  Danzi, you don¡¯t understand shit. I forced him into this, and the two of us together once scared him so much that he never dared to come here again. He said that if the army found out, he would have to be expelled from the army."

    ¡°I really don¡¯t understand you girls. You solve problems when they arise. Why do you always make things more complicated? At the expense of your own chastity.¡±

    She lowered her head and said nothing, braiding the ends of her braids with both hands.  Her high chest rose and fell slightly with her breathing.  It seemed emotional and sad.  After a long time, I raised my head with tears in my eyes and said choked: "I just hate my parents. Why don't they care about me? They don't take my reputation seriously. Especially my mother, I really hate her. She wants to take revenge on me.  Dad, you won¡¯t hesitate to sacrifice my reputation.

    Sometimes I wonder if she is my biological mother?  As the saying goes, a couple's kindness lasts a hundred days. Why do I feel that my parents are natural enemies?  Do you look down on me?  Do you think I'm cheap?  "

    He waved his hands hurriedly and said, "No, I'm not looking down on you. I just think you shouldn't punish yourself for your parents' mistakes. We are a small place, and every little thing will be exaggerated and spread to make it magical. Please advise.  You study hard, get into college and leave this hellish place."

    There was a light of hope on her face, and she said firmly: "I want to leave this place, and I also want to stay far away from my parents. Maybe this way the ** rumors will stay away from me. Thank you! Hanwen,  You gave me the courage to live today. I have been thinking that if I can't find a solution, I will have to die in front of my parents."

    He said angrily: "I always thought you were quite promising. You have read so many books, including the poetry collections of Shelley and Byron. But you are still a coward who dares to face death. Why don't you dare to face it?"  What about survival?

    I¡¯ll send you a poem by Marshal Chen Yi: Heavy snow weighs on the green pine trees, and the green pine trees are straight and straight.  You should know that the pines are noble and pure until the snow melts.  Whenever I encounter difficulties, I use this poem to encourage myself.  I hope that we can all stand up like Qingsong and use our noble character to prove our strength to the world.  "

    His words touched her deeply. She grabbed his hand and said, "You should encourage me more like this in the future. I will try to be strong." He felt that her palms were sweaty, wet and a little trembling.

    Her face was almost close to his, and she said in a trembling voice: "I like you, Hanwen. I've liked you since the first time I saw you in fifth grade. I know I'm not worthy, and I also know you like Yu."  He, but I still want to tell you that I can be your confidante. I don¡¯t care about anything, I just want you to be good. "

    He supported his body with his arms, almost lying on the bed.  He said in a very firm tone: "Wu Mengqin, we can be very good classmates, but we don't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, because we don't understand feelings yet."

    She stood up, gathered her hair, pulled up her sweater, and said calmly: "I know you don't like me. It doesn't matter, you just know that I like you." After that, she picked up a book from the bookshelf.  The book was handed to him and said: "This is a New Year's gift for you, "Collection of Prose and Poems by Rabindranath Tagore". I hope we can be good friends."

    He took the book in his hand, opened the first page and wrote: "Gift Hanwen: When you read this book, I am also reading you quietly. Wu Mengqin, Spring Festival of 1981." He was a little embarrassed.  He said: "I have accepted the book, and I have also accepted your thoughts. The green hills are evergreen, the green waters are evergreen, and we will always be friends!"

    He took the book and walked out of her house. The corridor was quiet. Suddenly she put her arms around his neck, gave him a passionate kiss, and then turned around and closed the door.  His heart beat fiercely like a drum for a few times, and it took a long time to slowly calm down.

    The sky was overcast, and the north wind blew against the bare tree trunks and knocked on the window lattice.  He covered his face with the collar of his coat and rode towards Hao Jun's house against the wind.

    The small courtyard of the teacher's building was quiet. He rang the doorbell. It took half a minute before he heard the sound of footsteps.  Hao Jun opened the door, pulled him into the room and quickly closed the door.

    ?He suddenly felt much warmer and the heating was sufficient.  But there is no festive atmosphere at Hao Jun's house, and everything is deserted.  He asked in confusion: "Why is there no festive atmosphere at your house?"

    Hao Jun said nonchalantly: "It's like this every year. My dad went off to the army to accompany the soldiers to celebrate the New Year, and my mom was on duty in the hospital. My sister went to her boyfriend's house. My brother went to his classmate's house. If I hadn't known you were coming, I would have  I've already slipped out. It's very boring to be alone in such a big house."

    Han Wen joked: "Where's yours? Cao Dongju didn't come to accompany you?" Hao Jun said angrily: "We are becoming more and more estranged. She and Tan Haixia sat with me for less than ten minutes during the Chinese New Year.  Then she left. I went to her house several times to look for her, but she was always not at home. Do you think she has someone else? "

    Hanwen shook his head and said, "Probably not! As far as I know, Cao Dongju is not that kind of person. Is there no conflict between you two?"

    Hao Jun lowered his head and thought for a while and said: "There is no conflict at all. Just staying together doesn't have the same passion as before. There is nothing left to say. There is nothing else to say except doing that thing. Now even doing that thing  I¡¯m no longer interested in anything. Do you think it¡¯s strange?¡±

    Hanwen took a sip of hot tea and leaned his head on the sofa and said, "It's not surprising at all. You are getting tired of each other. You are the ones who have persisted longer. Some pairs, after piercing the layer of paper, were less than three years old.  Months later, the relationship is divided. The relationship in adolescence is the most unstable, and it is an outlet for turmoil. Once the mystery is gone, the relationship between a man and a woman can no longer attract each other, and it will be nothing."

    Hao Jun nodded and said: "I think you are smarter. The reason why you and Yu He are still fine now is that you haven't pierced the layer of paper yet and still retain the last sense of mystery. In fact, sometimes I regret it.  Cao Dongju, a good girl, was ruined by me. If the paper hadn't been broken, maybe we would still be friends now! It seems like we can't even be friends now."

    Hanwen asked in a questioning tone: "You just broke up like this? I don't think it's that simple!" Hao Jun said helplessly: "We really broke up. Although we didn't say it explicitly, we all knew it in our hearts. It was like a sudden breakup.  It was as if there was an electric shock, and everything in front of my eyes suddenly went dark. I no longer felt the excitement I had before.

    She saw me listless, and I saw her sluggish.  I can't say a few words before I get angry.  I felt that it didn¡¯t matter whether she saw him or not, and I also felt that it didn¡¯t matter whether she saw me or not.  The two of them were strangers than the average classmate.  "

    After hearing this, Hanwen was secretly glad that he had not followed in his footsteps.  Although I met Hai Xia twice, it didn't feel like three autumns apart without seeing each other for one day.  It seems that it is not good to be too close.

    Seeing that Hanwen was silent, Hao Jun continued: "I have experienced it, and I know that puppy love is really bad. I am not talking about puppy love from the perspective of traditional morality, but from the perspective of love. You said ten  What emotions do three- and four-year-old brats know? It¡¯s not just the attraction of opposite sexes, it¡¯s the turmoil of youth. After venting, it seems like you¡¯re empty.¡±

    Hanwen didn't want to talk about this topic with him anymore, so he asked casually: "Is there anything to eat? I'm a little hungry." He replied lazily: "There are raw dumplings, I want to eat them myself." He put Hanwen's  Take it to the kitchen and put the dumplings in front of Hanwen.

    Hanwen asked him while cooking dumplings: "What are your plans for the start of school? It's time to study seriously instead of falling in love. You have to work hard to be among the top ten in the class!"

    He still looked indifferent and said: "It's time to focus on studying, but I still want to read more extracurricular books. Learn from you, and also read classics such as "Das Kapital" and other books. I think  Do you always have to figure out why people should live? I have been particularly decadent recently and feel that life is really boring."

    Hanwen didn¡¯t pay much attention to what he said because he had thought about it for a while.  When you encounter setbacks or the relationship with your family is not handled well, you will have an inexplicable feeling of loneliness, and feel that it doesn't matter whether you are alive or not. Through reading, I understand that there will be times like this in adolescence.  This is a sign of psychological unhygiene.

    Hanwen felt that although Hao Jun and Cao Dongju broke up naturally, it still had a certain negative impact on his psychology.  It gave him the impression that love is nothing more than this, and even beautiful love is nothing more than this, so what's the point of living?

    Hanwen thought of this and said seriously: "Brother, I have read a few books on psychology recently. It says that human health is divided into three aspects: physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. In China, due to material life,  The level is low and they only focus on physical health, that is, physical health. They simply ignore mental health and spiritual health.

    Puppy love is something that everyone has to face in adolescence, and it is also a need for our growth.  But puppy love is most likely to occur when parents are missing.On the heart of the child.  For example, you and I, your parents are too busy and have no time to care about your deep emotional needs. My parents are overwhelmed by life, so how can they have time to care about me?  Therefore, we transfer our desire to be cared about to the girl we like.

    But puppy love cannot solve our problems. Once we discover this, we will be very disappointed and have world-weary thoughts.  As long as we can adjust our mentality and transfer our emotions to things that interest us, this world-weary feeling will disappear.  "

    Hao Jun stretched out, cheered up and said, "I think these words of yours are very inspiring to me. It's time for me to find what I am most interested in in this life. Let's stop talking about this and eat dumplings."

    Hanwen held Hao Jun¡¯s hand and said, ¡°If you want to live a good life, don¡¯t take yourself too seriously and encourage each other.¡±
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