During World War II, leaders of many countries had their own stand-ins, including Hitler, Stalin, and of course Guo Yunshan!
And the substitutes of these leaders are younger, stronger, and more temperamental than themselves!
Except for people like Guo Yunshan¡¯s stand-in Zhen Er, there are very few guys with missing strings on their heads!
On the evening of the 31st, Guo Yunshan invited Hitler to eat steak and drink champagne in his headquarters, listening to Hitler's stand-in on the radio making an impassioned speech:
"As you know, I have made repeated efforts to clarify the situation and obtain understanding through peaceful means on the Austrian question and subsequently the Sudetenland, Bohemia and Moravia. But everything was in vain In my opinion During the talks with Polish politicians I finally made a suggestion from Germany There is no more basic and sincere suggestion than this suggestion. I am willing to tell people all over the world that only I have the conditions to make such a suggestion. suggestions, because I knew clearly that doing so would be opposed by millions of German people. But these suggestions were rejected For two days, my government and I waited to see if it was convenient for the Polish government , was able to send a plenipotentiary, but it would be a mistake to mistake my desire for peace and my patience for weakness or even cowardice I can no longer see the Polish government having any In good faith to enter into serious negotiations with us Therefore, I decided to speak to Poland in a language that the Poles have used against us in the past few months
Just tonight, just now, a group of thugs from the Polish regular army have launched the first attack on our territory
Guo Yunshan took a sip of champagne and asked: "Can't the Poles hide from you? Do they dare to smash you and smash the radio station? It's really inexplicable. By the way, was this group of stupid SS soldiers under you done? "
Hitler rolled his eyes and asked, "What do you think we should do?"
Guo Yunshan pointed at Hitler and said: "You have asked the right person. I am the best at frame-up. Lookwhy should I tell you? If you ask me to send troops, I will tell you!"
Hitler's forehead was full of black lines, he spread his hands and said: "It's not that I don't want you to send troops, but your soldiers are too scary. When the frontline war is urgent, it is possible to be without food for a day or two. You say, you My troops haven't eaten for two days and are screaming with hunger. Moreover, this is an army that loves to eat human flesh. How will your troops look at my troops?"
Guo Yunshan touched his nose and replied with a smile: "Of course it looks like a wolf's eyes, green!"
Hitler slammed the table, stood up, and said: "So, your troops cannot participate in this battle. I want to ensure the victory of the invasion of Poland. With victory, we can gain some valuable things from Poland." Take it out and distribute it. What if you fail? So victory must be the first priority. I can only promise you that your troops can get back some planes and give you some gold and silver. This is my biggest concession!"
Guo Yunshan nodded. There was nothing he could do now, but he thought and said with a smile, "What if we prepare some wild food ourselves?"
Hitler waved his hand and replied: "No, unless there is a major failure, you will go up as a reserve team, otherwise, you will squat in Bohemia!"
Guo Yunshan curled his lips and thought in his mind: "You said squatting just squatting? No, I have to find a way to break into Poland somewhere. The opportunity to make money is right in front of me, and time is not waiting for me!"
Thinking of this, Guo Yunshan smiled at Hitler and said, "Sorry, I need to pee!"
Guo Yunshan walked out of the headquarters. Glasses and the others stood outside. When they saw Guo Yunshan walking out, they immediately surrounded him. Glasses asked: "Boss, how are you? Does the old turtle agree to our going out?"
Three black lines immediately appeared on Guo Yunshan¡¯s forehead. The only person in the world who dared to call Hitler a brat was Glasses!
Guo Yunshan waved his hand and said: "Bring the map!"
Tang Xiaoguang immediately ordered someone to bring a map of Poland and a table, and illuminated it with a flashlight. Guo Yunshan said: "Our position is very bad. We wanted to stay and observe Guderian's troops, but now we are in the west. Even if we If you can enter Poland, you are just following the German army, and you can¡¯t smell anything good. Do you think there is any good way to break this ending?¡±
Honma Masaharu lowered her head and said: "I'm sorry"
Guo Yunshan waved his hand and said: "I don't need to apologize. You should be thinking about how to grab more things now. Do you understand? This is called atonement, so that we can develop greatly. The next time we eat human flesh, there will be no one to look for." place?, still so enthusiastic? After giving away several pots, do you think that others are not as degenerate as you? "
Honma Masaharu nodded and said: "Hi!"
At this time, the Japanese Army Chief of Staff Imamura Seitake said: "Boss, according to your idea, we are seeking wealth rather than life, and we can still make a difference in this matter"
Guo Yunshan was stunned for a moment, laughed out loud, patted Imamura on the shoulder, and said: "I know you Japanese people have some talents, tell me what solution you have come up with?"
Imamura blushed and said modestly: "My ancestors are what the country calls Japanese pirates"
Guo Yunshan¡¯s eyes widened and he shouted: ¡°Kneel down and say it!¡±
Imamura Seitake trembled with fright, knelt down with a plop, and became silent!
Kamijou Nao lowered his head with a stern expression, knelt down and said: "Boss Guo, we know that the Japanese and Chinese have great hatred, and it may not be resolved in a short time"
Guo Yunshan snorted and said: "There's nothing that can't be resolved. I'll resolve it by beating you until your heads are full of bruises. Tell me, is there any way to resolve it and prevent us from entering this situation?"
Nao Kamijou nodded and replied: "The airports occupied by our airborne troops are many points. After occupying these points, we can continue to use transport planes to drop more soldiers to form a line and then form an area, because what we are doing is not large-scale. In field battles, the troops sent as long as they can rob things will be fine. In the event of a war, the reserves will be taken away. These Polish soldiers will definitely fight against the German army.
¡°And we just need to grab things and transport things¡±
Guo Yunshan nodded and said, "Are there not enough planes?"
Kamijou Nao replied: "We just need more transport planes!"
Guo Yunshan called Tang Xiaoguang over and said: "You immediately send a telegram to Qin Han and ask him to fly over 100 transport planes. Each transport plane can transport 20 people. We transport only 2,000 people at a time. You need to tell Goering about this. Tell this guy to be careful and don¡¯t knock down the plane I¡¯m transporting my troops to. Tell me, Glasses!¡±
The glasses replied: "Yes!"
After finishing all this work, Guo Yunshan chuckled and said, "Blitzkrieg? Who can dodge faster?"
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